I'm having an affair, I need to make a decision but I don't want to hurt my husband..
It's a horrible situation that no one wants. It is not the kind of situation that you wake up one day and say "I think I'd like to crush my husband's heart and have an affair". It's awful. I feel horrible. But I can actually see a beautiful life with this other man, and I want it more, and more everyday, but at the same time, the thought of leaving my husband, and breaking his heart is unbearable.
I know I need to make a decision quickly. But this is not something that is easy to sort out at all. I wish someone had the answer. I used to be the girl that despised cheaters, I hated them, and thought "how could anyone ever do that to someone?! what a low life!" but it really is one of those situations that you could never possibly understand until it happens in your life.
I never intended to be the woman that had an affair. I hate the thought of it, and it's not something people accept justification for. For people, there is absolutely no reason for cheating. I can't believe it myself. I feel awful. What do I do?
I love my husband very much, but I know I'm just not in love with him anymore. I care very much about the man I'm am having an affair with, and I can see myself falling very much in love with him. I don't want to hurt my husband, but I'm not getting any younger and you only get one shot at happiness, one chance to live your life, part of me says to go for it with the other man, and the other part of me just can't stand to hurt my husband.
Someone, please have some answers. I know it's awful, I never wanted this.
Edited/T
Comment on Altenweg's post
Thank you. I have thought about that, and I've talked to someone about it and I concluded that it's enough to live with the shame and guilt myself, it's not something I ever want him to feel and have to live with the knowledge of for the rest of his life. He doesn't deserve to feel such pain. And I know I should have never done my part to make the situation what it is in the first place. It is not something you plan, before I knew it, it was just happening.
Comment on Altenweg's post
You make an extremely good point. You have given me a lot to consider. Thank you for that. I am afraid. I'm pretty positive I don't ever want him to know, to save both of us I suppose. I need to make the decision to end my marriage or end my affair. I am so very afraid. Thank you altenweg.