It's either me venting on here right now....or I'm gonna text him and regret it....Why do I still want him?? F--- my life!
THANKS for not caring about me at all! Thanks for getting me hooked on you when I wanted nothing to begin with. I really appreciate how wonderful you were in the beginning only to change and start being an a__hole. Perfect! I love all the money I spent on you, all the things I did for you, and you know, I loved spending hours chauferring you around because you DON"T have a car, let alone your licence! Cuz I have nothing better to do with my time then to spend 2 hours driving you to work, then home, then pick you up and drive back home till you get your apartment. You're hungry? Sure, let me run out right away for you to go get you taco bell. I'll keep on buying your cigarettes too cuz you're outta money 2 days after you get paid when you live at home and have NO BILLS. No worries about my mortgage, car payment, school loans, bills, debts, etc...On my way to work and before I drive you home, don't ever offer to run in and get my coffee, I'll do it everytime, even when you want something! Also, feel free to let ME pay for your $50.00 M--F 'n cab ride into town so you can drink ON ME all night, and sure, invite your friend and have me pay for his booze all night too. Why not! I'd love to work all night to cover YOUR tabs! Oh....and you don't have money to go out, so sure here's $100.00 cuz if you can't go out you are gonna be grumpy all night. Great! And it's my fault that some dude hit on me in front of you, so of course you should be mad at ME!! Cuz somehow that's my fault. And in your anger, why don't you attempt to smash your computer again cuz it didn't break the first time you whipped it off your desk. And maybe throw something else cuz one window isn't enough to break. After you have been working crazy hours, instead of finally spending time with me, you should instead go out with the guys from work because you got paid! Don't worry about the plans we had, I LOVE being ditched. And when that makes me snap and I break up with you cuz I can't take it anymore, don't try to stop me! Don't try to talk it out with me and see what is up. Instead, let me freak out and then by no means give me any closure. Let me come get my stuff, tell me you still love me..... Then what would be really nice is if you call me in your drunken state at 3am only to give me hope, for nothing! Awesome! Then tell me a week later that you have no feelings left for me, I killed it. Right on. And hopefully your uncle will continue to hit on me! Cuz when we were together and he did, that wasn't enough, he needs to try again when we are broken up. I'm really into jumping to different family members you know!
Had to! I really wanted to send it to him, but that wouldn't be a good idea, just give him more power. Gotta let him believe I'm not thinking about him even though I have been stressing all night. It's been 2 months, why isn't it getting better yet?? grrrr
It's been 4 or 5 months for me and i still feel like a turd a lot of the time. You're not alone.
Find those moments that you aren't feeling as bad and enjoy them as much as you can. I had a nap.. woke up and don't feel so bad.. so i'm making the most of it right now..hah.. because god knows how long this content feeling will last...
It seems you need to have a real chat with this guy, from what you wrote it seems he is treating you like his personal assistant or something. He should get his priorities straight!
It seems you need to have a real chat with this guy, from what you wrote it seems he is treating you like his personal assistant or something. He should get his priorities straight!
Huh? they are broken up and he treats her like sh!t. Why would she contact him? She needs to chill and get her head back on straight. In time she'll end up with someone that actually cares about her and what she has to offer.
I did want to talk to him, I needed (still need) closure, but he can't right now. "maybe sometime in the future" he said. The last time I tried to was a week and a half ago and that's when he said he has no feelings left for me anymore, I killed it. I probably did cuz I was actually really, really mean when I broke up with him, I put him down as much as I possibly could. Such a wrong thing to do, I still feel bad. And all the stuff I posted is true, however he is not as horrible as I made him seem. He was faithful and never said a mean word to me, just started to take advantage of me because, well, I probably let him. I like spoiling my men, and then it just becomes habit. I'm just really frustrated right now so I'm trying to tell myself he is a piece of s--t so I could hopefully stop thinking so highly of him. I'm trying to see things in him that I didn't like, cuz I know he isn't coming back. Terdball
a la king.....must be nice to be able to nap! I love naps but I can't cuz I wake up with panic attacks! And I'm soooo tired! At least I can sleep at night, so that's good. I'm ok when I'm busy, but being at home tonight on a Saturday sucks! But again, I have to work in the morning so I don't wanna be hungover or anything....
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