On the whole my relationship with my boyfriend is good.
we are fairly honest with each other.

Last wkend we went clubbing together, with about another 5 people. We had a good evening and got very drunk. There's this 1 girl who has known me and bf forever, very sweet girl just abit flirty at times but i guess who isnt when you have a few drinks.

Anyways, she left the club about 3am and my bf started talking about her, coz she was engaged to another of our friend for 10 yrs, they were soon goin to get married but she left him for the reasons - wanting independance and basically fell out of love for him. Well to give u an idea of what on :-
my bf started talking about how highly he used to look up her years ago and that he felt a thing between them.
I was like .... he then added that since she left her fiance he believes that she cheated and he doesnt look at her d same way!!
Im totally confused...
what was this conversation all about..
It even made me feel abit of anger towards him and her.
She likes to flirt wi my bf i.e keeps slappin his bum ... althou when she does that he looks at me with a kind of funny look.

UFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

fredg

Hi, flower,
There is something here you must realize. When people get drunk, really drunk, they are sometimes not in control of themselves, and do things they would not otherwise do! Getting drunk means someone is wanting to "release" themselves, maybe not being able to "have a good time" unless they have had a few drinks.
I don't drink anymore, and find that I am very, very able to be myself, and I don't need alcohol anymore to have a good time!
Would this have happened if you had not been drunk? That's the question to ask yourself. Also, if you value your relationship, is there anywhere else you can go and have a good time? Instead of getting drunk?
If someone keeps flirting with your boyfriend, why in the world are you doing things with her?? Stay away from her.
I do wish you the best.

Krs

There is nothing really wrong with getting drunk with your partner - all in moderation thou.

God all these issues with female friends, i dont get it myself am in the same boat as u really and i cant decided on what to do!

fredg

Hi,
I do agree with the previous answer of "there's nothing wrong in getting drunk with your partner".
However, if your partner cannot control themselves after they are drunk, then be prepared for whatever happens. If they cannot control themselves, then it will lead to finding new friends eventually.....seen too much of it over the last many years.

phillysteakandcheese

I think you boyfriend was drunk was telling you his thoughts about your friend - and he obviously doesn't think much of her anymore...

I would write it off as nothing more than gossip ... induced by alcohol.

HarryPT

i agree with everyone i dont think you should worry

s_cianci

First of all, tell your girlfriend that if she slaps your boyfriend's bum one more time you're going to break her arm. Not that I expect you to literally carry it out but as a matter of metaphor she should get the hint. Next tell your boyfriend that such conversation makes you very uncomfortable and you don't want to hear it any more. If he doesn't respect you enough to comply then that could be a red flag that it's time to forget this one and move on.

s_cianci

Since when does "getting drunk" constitute "moderation?" Isn't that an oxymoron?

Krs

well ofcourse you can drink in moderation, whats so difficult to understand about.
Instead of drinking 10 vodka's for example you have 5 only where you just get typsy instead of totally off it!

Chery

Dear flower, I hope you are secure enough in your relationship to not let that 'green monster' called jealousy out. If you, after a few drinks or sober, find other reasons to get upset at other women about, then you really have to do an attitude check.

You might still be a little insecure about the whole thing, and might even think that he could be looking for something that you are not willing or able to provide in this relationship. If this is the case, then please talk to your boyfriend about your fears. When a couple get together, they also inherit each other's friends most of the time. If you have any doubts at all about these friends, then you should be able to talk about this issue without starting an arguement. And of course, we all bring our past into a relationship, but it should stay exactly what it is - the past.

You need to focus on the future with him and what you both want from this - be it long lasting or just short-term as only time, compassion, understanding, trust and patience will tell. So, in order to help it grow along well, communicate with each other in trust and confidence.

Good luck to you dear, and please keep us posted.


If you are insecure with yourself, the relationship will suffer. So, look at your positive aspects and look at what he has seen in you in the first place. If you forgot why he's with you, ask him. You have qualities he obviously loves, or he'd be with another.