Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help!
Answer   ||    Advanced Search

Ask your question or search...
International Sites: Nederlandse experts vragen
User Name 
Password 
Join   Forgot password? 

Home > Family & People > Relationships   »   Im Dating a man for 6 months now He used to be heroin addict.

Question
 
 
Old Feb 25, 2009, 07:06 AM
VAN5090
New Member
VAN5090 is offline
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 27
VAN5090 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
Im Dating a man for 6 months now He used to be heroin addict.

Im dating a 27 year old Guy that used to do heroin. He was doing great went back to collage untill one of his old buddies came back in town and his buddy does crack. Just a couple of days ago he my boyfriend was arresested for possesion of less the $10.00 of Crack I was shocked because he was always asking me for money and he lied to me about going to school that day of his arrest . I have two daughters and Im divorced 22 years old and I fell in love with this man ! will a heroin addict ever leave the addiction behined?

Reply With Quote
 
     

Answers
 
 
Old Apr 1, 2009, 12:44 PM   #51  
New Member
VAN5090 is offline
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 27
VAN5090 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
He's been Doing Heroin Since he was 15
He was off it for a year and relapsed around The super bowl sunday date His buddy came to town .
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Apr 1, 2009, 01:11 PM   #52  
Relationship Expert
Justwantfair is offline
 
Justwantfair's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Illinois
Posts: 3,198
Justwantfair See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Justwantfair See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Justwantfair See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Justwantfair See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Justwantfair See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Justwantfair See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Justwantfair See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
So you are competing with a 12 year addiction...

Just so you know, you NEVER stood a chance.

Pack up your things and move on. I can not say it enough.

Comments on this post
Ren6 agrees: Yes!
Survivor07 agrees: Sooo true, just hope she takes the advice
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Apr 2, 2009, 07:23 AM   #53  
New Member
VAN5090 is offline
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 27
VAN5090 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
He will be going into treatment Today but either way I will focus on my childrens needs Its really hard to have many life changing transitions I mean I thought He was the one for me. I thank everyone who has helped me go threw this.
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Apr 2, 2009, 07:30 AM   #54  
Relationship Expert
Justwantfair is offline
 
Justwantfair's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Illinois
Posts: 3,198
Justwantfair See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Justwantfair See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Justwantfair See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Justwantfair See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Justwantfair See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Justwantfair See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Justwantfair See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
Good luck to you. You are working on breaking your own addiction to this person. Just know that you are the most important person in your child's life. Bringing in just anyone just to have the nuclear family will not benefit you or your children.

Be selective, be happy with who you are, standing on your own two feet. Partners should compliment who we already are. God bless.
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Apr 2, 2009, 09:46 AM   #55  
Full Member
Sunflowers is offline
 
Sunflowers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 218
Sunflowers See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
You ought to thank your lucky stars that he is not the father of your girls. If your little girls had a heroin addict for a father we'd all be saying "poor little girls"... offering this advice and that to help you help your daughters cope with the burden of having a drug addicted father. You'd never choose this problem for your daughters would you? Of course not! You have made the right choice.

Your daughters are depending on you to protect them from all the bad people in the world, that includes heroin addicts.
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Apr 2, 2009, 10:08 AM   #56  
Junior Member
Janmarie is offline
 
Janmarie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: North Idaho/Canada
Posts: 166
Janmarie See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
Send a message via Yahoo to Janmarie
He is a ticking time bomb. Not just drugs but battery too? Okay so are you going to let him beat the h#ll out of you or your girls because you told him, "no," you can't borrow money? Addicts like that will not stop at getting what they want and there is nothing they won't do...to the point of killing, robbing and then satisfying the "Need." Save your life and the life of your girls. There should not even be a question like this. You know the answer.
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Apr 2, 2009, 10:24 AM   #57  
BMI
Canadian Immigration Expert
BMI is offline
 
BMI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: T.O
Posts: 758
BMI See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.BMI See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
I must point out that over the course of this thread I'm a little shocked over the wording and descriptions being used in terms of addicts. They are people too and to suggest they will not change is not fair, neither is it helpful.

However, you did mention people deserving a second chance although your numbering was off. You being with him in the first place was his second chance, NOT when he relapsed. I am all for you having made that leap of faith in the hopes of him getting better, when he didn't it was time to go. You simply have too much to lose to gamble with someone that has continually shown a lack of sincerity in terms of getting better.

Finally, I will disagree with some of the statements made towards this man and addcts in general, but I do believe the advice is correct. Leave or you'll be dragged down too. You being there for him is not helping him the way you think it is, in fact it may well be hurting him in his recovery. Nevertheless, it is you and your future you need focus on.

Comments on this post
Gemini54 agrees: Thanks for providing a more balanced perspective.
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Apr 2, 2009, 10:36 AM   #58  
Ultra Member
Romefalls19 is offline
 
Romefalls19's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: New jersey
Posts: 4,175
Romefalls19 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Romefalls19 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Romefalls19 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Romefalls19 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Romefalls19 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Romefalls19 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Romefalls19 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Romefalls19 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
I have first hand knowledge of heroin addicts, BMI the facts speak for themselves about the percentage of drug users that relapse. Even more, heroin addicts are more likely to relapse and are more prone to overdosing because they feel that they can do the same amount they used to. My fiance's ex husband is a heroin addict, he quit twice before I met her, he went to rehab this past year(3rd time he's "quit") and was clean for the time he was in there(10 months) plus 3 more and then relapsed and we haven't heard from him since then. I am all for people rebuilding their lives, but drug users are less likely to do this. The facts speak for themselves

Relapse Prevention and Drug Addiction

ScienceDirect - Drug and Alcohol Dependence : Prediction of relapse to frequent heroin use and the role of methadone prescription: An analysis of the Amsterdam Cohort Study among drug users
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Apr 2, 2009, 10:44 AM   #59  
BMI
Canadian Immigration Expert
BMI is offline
 
BMI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: T.O
Posts: 758
BMI See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.BMI See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
No need to give statistics, I'm aware of the relapse rate of heroin addicts. There is no doubt statistically this young man was more likely to end up doing what he actually did than for him to have put it down for good, that is not my problem.

There are some that do indeed stay clean, I pointed out that some on this board hear the word addict and the advice is to run as far away as possible from "those people". This man's mother would like to beleive her son has a chance and pointing out the statistics to her would do no good.

I do not think the advice should be run away regardless when the word addict is mentioned. In this case the advice was spot on and the statistics worked the way they should, it still does not make the initial assessment of him right or fair.

Comments on this post
artlady agrees: When is the magic day when you give up on someone you love? You make a very strong point!
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Apr 2, 2009, 10:49 AM   #60  
Ultra Member
Romefalls19 is offline
 
Romefalls19's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: New jersey
Posts: 4,175
Romefalls19 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Romefalls19 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Romefalls19 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Romefalls19 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Romefalls19 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Romefalls19 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Romefalls19 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Romefalls19 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
I think members of the board just don't want to take that risk. Especially with children being involved in the situation. There is too much at stake and often times addicts become violent. Just my take, I'd never date an addict but some people might feel different
  Reply With Quote
 
     

Your Answer
Email me when someone replies to my answer
Join Login



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes
Ask your question or search...



Similar Threads
virgin dating a sex addict
(13 replies)
Dating sex addict, but value trust.
(11 replies)
Exboyfriends a heroin addict
(5 replies)
Should I try to start dating my ex who I broke up with 4 months ago?
(1 replies)
Can a bf/gf be friends after dating six months?
(2 replies)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread

Advanced Search

Bookmarks





Copyright ©2003 - 2009, Ask Me Help Desk.
All times are GMT -8. The time now is 10:12 AM.