I just dont wher eto start on this one to be honest, il try and make it as quick and to the point as possible. I was with a guy for a couple of years (more off than on), when we were together things were fine.

In June last year we split up again and he contact me again in the August and we met and kissed and he asked me to get back with him and I said yes, I asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said there has been know one since me !!!!! That turned out to be a lie, we were seeing each other of and on (no sex) for a couple of months and he said he had to go away in the November, I found out only in January that the trip he made in Nov was to see his GIRLFRIEND who lived a distance away who he had been seeing since June, he was emailing me from her house saying that he missed me and loved me and wanted to start a family with me.

Anyway, at New Year (this was before I knew about the girlfriend) he asked said to the girlfriend that he couldnt make it down to hers as he was busy and asked me to go to his to have sex, thank god i didnt go as i knew something wasnt quite right at this point.

Anyway, I found out about her in Jan and asked him, he said that they were over in Dec (which i know was a lie as i sawwhat he put on her social networking site wall aint it was clear they were more than mates, i even got one of my friends to get in touch with this girl and she said tha they split in Jan but still told each other that they loved each other !!!!

By this point i was sick to my stomach, what if id slept with him unprotected which is what he wanted (as he wanted to get me pregnant) and i could of been carrying his child by now.

He denied it and he ex deleted him off her friends list, then whilst still trying to get me back i find out in the Feb that they are back in touch via Facebook, and as a double whammy, he is saying he loves me and is meeting other woman off the site as well ?????

Just to add insult to injury, whilst professing hisundying love to me i found out he is planning a trip to Europe with a female mate !!!! (he had great pleasure in telling me so as well) he is playing head games with me all the time and im sick of it, but i do love him.

Ive realised that he only cares for himself and knowone else, as long as he is happy then knowone else matters, now he is busy planning his hol with this woman he wont think of me, but when he gets bored then guess who he will come running too.

He only tld me that he loved and wanted to start a family with me on the Thurs and at the same time planning a trip with a female friend at the same time (i know she likes him)

im so confused and lonley right now

NallaNeedsYou

good ridence. You deserve SO much better and you shouldnt have to take this guys twisted, selfish mind games. Move on and get you life back. Guys like him need to be shown how to treat women and the less women stand for guys like him the weaker they will become. You have given your own reasons for leaving him and i dont think anyone would disagree with me in saying that you dont have to take this and its time you are shown the respect you deserve. be strong and let go.

artlady

Since you have realized he is a selfish jerk who will say anything to get what her wants,you have two options,continue to let him use and abuse you or learn that sometimes in love you lose.

It is awful and it hurts but you must respect yourself and not allow anyone to hurt you this way.

He will not change,love does not make people better and you can't make him an honorable person.He is not.

There is a ton of advice on this site to help you get over the relationship.

Number one rule to begin is No Contact!

roosterismydog

ive not contacted him for 2 days now, but he hasnt contacted me either, my friends have told him that if he loves me then he will contact me but ive heard nothing and that hurts so bad. The thing that hurts even more is that it is always him in the long run that gets back in touch with me, usually after 12 weeks is the norm for him, then he professes his undying love etc etc and says that he loves and misses me

Im so down and confused, and hate being used by him, he knows i love him and plays on that im pretty damn sure of it

roosterismydog

Is it me or is it not right to ask an ex to get back together with you and all along you are planning a holiday with another woman ? even if she is just a friend thats something that a guy really should not be doing right ????

I know they have know each other for years and they are getting very cozy latley, my friends have told her that he keeps coming back to me and that the trip with her is just to get back at me but she wont have any of it. So im not pushing anymore, she has been told that he is using her and she dont want to listen. The thing that hurts me is that he told me they are just very very good mates but made a suggestion to me that he would like it to lead to more between them. So now i have this pic in my mind (which he probably wants me to have) of them "together" in bed on hol whilst im here upset and hurt.

Im thinking of planning a trip to Oz, its what ive always wanted to do, when my friend told this guy that i may be going he wasnt even bothered and didnt ask me to stay.

I suppose im better off without him, leave him and her to play happy families and go and see Oz but my heart is breaking

liz28

I glad a child wasn't produce and added to this immature mixture of confusion. That idea wasn't a great one.

You should 've been out the door once you heard of him having a girlfriend and should value yourself more. This guy is no good and you knew it but instead of accepting that you deciding to live in denial. Then almost had a planned baby with him.

Glad you woke up and smelled the coffee and hope you stick to your guns and stop this cycle of being on and off again. I mean really! And don't ever consider having a baby with someone that your aren't in a stable relationship with.

roosterismydog

Yeah, i knew something wasnt just rght, call it a womans intuition !!!! Hence i didnt sleep with him. What really gets my goat is that still to this day he denies being with her when we were together when theres so much proof out there for all too see. His other woman "girlfriend" gave him an ipod and put a certain song on "love song" for him to listen to which i found out as it was written on his wall on facebook, but he still denies it. He must think im a fool, well i am a fool in love at the moment.

roosterismydog

The thought of him and this other holiday woman is driving me nuts, im trying to keep busy but its so hard.

How can a man tell a woman that he loves and misses her so much and wants to have a baby with her and then the next minute turn round and say that he has changed his mind ????? im lost for words on this one, i really am, i feel hurt and used and im so upset and he is probably at it like rabbits with his friend as i type.

starlite1

Hi Rooster,

Welcome to AMHD! I'm so sorry that you are hurting. I know how you feel, we have all been there. Honestly, you need to be rid of this guy. He is hurting you and by reading your post, he is also taking advantage of you and the fact that when he is done hanging out with other women, you are always right there for him. Not good, sweetie. You need to be strong, hold your head up, and show him where the door is. You deserve so much better. You need to cut all contact with him, even though it is hard. Go out and do for you, you don't need anyone like this in your life. You are so much better than that.

liz28

He knows your a fool and you prove that point by staying by his side. Ain't that much love in the world and if you think this is love than you need to really research the meaning of that word.