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Im anti drug.hes not so anti.

Asked Jun 6, 2009, 01:46 PM — 7 Answers
I'm not an idiot.
Basically I'm with a guy, who I'm in love with.
He treats me very well.We have great trust for each other.Its all good, except I'm totally anti drug..and he enjoys the occasional buzz we'll say..
I don't know what to do.To stay or not?

7 Answers
mudweiser's Avatar
mudweiser Posts: 2,750, Reputation: 3586
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#2

Jun 6, 2009, 01:53 PM
I don't think you should stay with him. A friendship could work but I don't think a romantic relationship would. You both have different morals.

An occasional buzz could be a doorway to an addiction, are you prepared to handle that? How about if you move in together- are you okay with drugs in the house? Will you shrug it off or become a nag.

Just a thought.

Sarah
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Triysle's Avatar
Triysle Posts: 226, Reputation: 387
Full Member
 
#3

Jun 6, 2009, 02:18 PM
If you really love someone, then you have to accept them for who they are instead of trying to change them. If you cannot be happy with him, and he does not want to change, then there is nothing you can do to change him.

You are better off giving him an ultimatum here. If he chooses the drugs, then that sucks, but you deserve someone who desires to be with you more than a fancy chemical.

~ Tee
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snow124's Avatar
snow124 Posts: 116, Reputation: 135
Junior Member
 
#4

Jun 6, 2009, 03:17 PM
Currently, he's only putting himself at risk by breaking the law. Once you move in together, he'll be putting you at risk.

I agree with mudweiser - you have different morals. I'm extremely anti-drug myself and would never compromise on this. It's a fundamental difference and nothing good will come from the disparity.
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Nestorian's Avatar
Nestorian Posts: 967, Reputation: 778
Senior Member
 
#5

Jun 6, 2009, 03:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holly23 View Post
Im not an idiot.
Basically I'm with a guy, who I'm in love with.
He treats me very well.We have great trust for each other.Its all good, except I'm totally anti drug..and he enjoys the occasional buzz we'll say..
I don't know what to do.To stay or not?
Is that so? I advise you to refrain from defending yourself against your insecurities, for the longer you fight them, the deeper they take root in you, as they are always on your mind.

Love comes and it goes, haven't you seen/read "He's just not that into you."? Relax a little, and breath. You have your self backed into a corner already and we havent' even said anything, let your defences down and maybe you'll see that we aren't here just to tell how we see it.
If you love him, then either you learn to accept his occasional "buzz" endevor. Then again you could, as Mudweiser said, just be his friend and maybe he will grow out of it, or you will find some one else.
As hellen Keller said,When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.

Peace and kindness be with you.
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,351, Reputation: 50366
Senior Family & People Expert
 
#6

Jun 6, 2009, 04:58 PM


Play it straight, and honest, and tell the truth, your against the drugs, and that's just it. This should at least get you talking about it, and the boundaries for acceptable behavior between you. You BOTH have to accept each other for who you are, (opposites?) and make compromises and adjustments, or no one will be happy.

Is his "buzzing " a deal breaker? Only you know, but I suspect you don't like it one bit.

Nor should you.
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Fr_Chuck's Avatar
Fr_Chuck Posts: 72,607, Reputation: 37031
Expert
 
#7

Jun 6, 2009, 05:41 PM


You go,
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ordinaryguy's Avatar
ordinaryguy Posts: 1,795, Reputation: 3046
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#8

Jun 6, 2009, 06:03 PM
What "drugs" are we talking about specifically? There are huge differences in terms of addictive potential and health effects, if that's what you're concerned about. Alcohol is one of the worst in this respect, even though it's legal.

If it's illegality that worries you, it depends on where you live. In some places, they're all equally illegal, in others some are felonies and others are misdemeanors. It's not a "moral" issue unless you equate "legal" and "moral".
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