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Does anybody have real statitics about the "I need a break from the relationship" syndrom? I wrote a 5+ page essay explaining everything about my situation but it got lost due to one bad move of the mouse.
I felt like I had to be precise with my story because it was "different from the others". It was extremely long and to begin with it upset me with how pessimistic people were. But in the end they were all right, and after sticking around these forums I found that 99.9999% of the stories are the same, the same advice is given, the same disbelief from the one who asks the advice, claims of his/her case being different..then much like me a few days later the dreaded "she/he dumped me" post.
This obviously isn't mathematical precision - there will be exceptions..But one should ask himself - a break is a break from EACH OTHER..what happened to working things out communicating? I never imposed a break on my relationship because I loved her and didn't want to be apart..
For now all YOU can do is look forward, give her the space and time she needs..try and grow immune to the dependence you have built for her, in your space apart..When and if she decides to return you can start to think about it..But most of the advice you will get from here will tell you to move on.
Which is probably the best choice for YOU.
Thanks Nick, thats what I thought once she moved out it was over. I was just wondering if I had a chance at love agian with her or not. I think all the M/F's that had positive things to say about "I want some time alone" are either happy together or over the fact that they got dumped. And didn't come back to post. Thanks.
BTW, this is my last night with her. Tomarrow she leaves for her sister's house to live with an way worse than me. So be it, Im so sick of being lied to dude. It hurts but Cmon
Ever since I started coming onto these forums I've taken an almost hinduistic approach towards things..I'm very sensitive when it comes to emotions, but after sticking around for a while I think I've become a stronger person, and I wouldve normally been a wreck considering the way I was dumped -but I'm not..I'm just trying to grow from this experience..I acknowledge the mistakes I did in my relationship that may have helped in ending the relationship - since I know its not entirely my fault, its never entirely anyones fault..and I can only hope that they will be avoided next time around.
Yes - it's a shame that things end the way they do..I was friends with this girl for 6-7 years where we would always talk..my best friend for 10 months during our relationship. I dived into the relationship head first after the first couple of months..and now I decided I should stop talking to her, and I've taken steps in deleting her from my life (facebook/msn/phone book e.t.c). - it's sad but I'm not ready to be her friend.
I'm sure you're not ready for that either..when the time is right we may be friends again - but until I am 100% over whatever history we had.
I wish you were able to read the post that originated from this one. It outlined everything from day 1. I asked her to keep the word Faith in mind and she loved it. I am obviously a fool to believe that she will come back but Faith is all I have now. I will take it day to day as she continually lies to me. It is so sad that the good guys on this planet get F'd over on a regular basis. Damn
You don't have to take it day to day as she continually lies to you..You can block her from your life and let her wonder where you've gone..Ever since I stopped talking to my ex, for ONCE in the hectic break up month - I felt in control...Before that..every time my phone beeped and I got a message I was so hopeful it was her - it wasn't. Every time my phone rang, it was the same..She would talk to me on msn until I decided enough is enough and I just dissapeared..and it was liberating...I did it for myself before she had the chance to do it to me..Before we became "friends now" - until one day she finds someone new and all of a sudden SHE would stop talking to me..and all that hope or faith as you phrased it..was false..and I would have made no progress what so ever.
Now I'm 2 months into the break up and im gradually getting better..feel lonely at times but I'm doing well..I felt better since the day I decided to stop contact, and every time she made contact I would close the window and laugh to myself...She chose to remove me from her life but she wants me when its convinient. No thank you - I love myself enough to know I don't need her. You will not die without her my friend - trust me...Take care of yourself.
I will take it day to day as she continually lies to me. It is so sad that the good guys on this planet get F'd over on a regular basis. Damn
Remove yourself from the situation, and don't talk to her, and you wont get lied to by her, or f'kd over. Didn't have the benefit of reading your post, but frustration is very evident. You can repost it here in this thread though.
I may fit the mold of being the guy who still falls in that 99.999% category. My ex suffered what most would describe as a type of mental breakdown of some sorts and told me she loved me but needed to fix herself. She said once she got better, she come find me so we could be together again and even make me break up with whoever I'd be with so we could be a couple. That was 9weeks ago and have been NC for 6 weeks. I am trying to move on, but its hard with that bit of hope.
It is a lot harder when they leave us with hope brian. But look at it this way..How can she honestly know how she feels about you if you're still in her life? She's basically free to do as she wants now under this "break" but when she's bored, or lonely - you're a text message or phone call away..You're being taken advantage of..When I was ever in need of fixing - when I wasn't okay..I turned to HER because I loved her..She would HELP me get through it..I wouldn't suggest a break so I fix my self but whenever I saw it to be convinient I would "love her"..I know its hard for you..but look at how long you've been waiting..9 weeks.
Did things get better? - No
Did you make any progress what so ever? - If you're still here - I doubt it. Or atleast you would have been at a better place if you reinstated NC to begin with..
People take too long to realize the fight has been long lost..I suggest you throw in your boxing gloves and start the healing process..Stick to NC for your own good.
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