I agree, though I've been put through the wringer, so to speak, many times, I wouldn't change a thing. It's the bad times that give us the most opportunity to learn and grow, as well as teaching us to appreciate what we truly have in better times.
To a degree I guess I had given up on ever finding someone who could appreciate me for who I am. Until recently I had been on one (yes, one!) actual date in 7 years. Yet recently I found myself attracted to someone whom I encounter on a fairly regular basis. Though I was appreciably reluctant to approach her, given that I felt I was so very rusty in the dating and relationship department.
Much to my great surprise, she made the first move, but a few weeks later. Through our fairly in-depth conversations, I discovered that her birthday was but a short time away. I made a lavish effort on that day, and within a week we were out on our very first date. Despite having hardly dated in 7 years, nothing ever felt so comfortable to me, and I've never had such a fantastic date. Two months later we are still together and seeing each other multiple times a week, talking by phone sometimes daily.
In many ways, it could be considered by some a challenging relationship. She is native to another country, and only speaks English to a moderate degree. I read and speak only an extremely limited degree of a dialect native to her country, of which she largely understands, though I have virtually no need to ever use. I met her parents on the very first date, having had dinner at their home, and continue to do so near weekly. And though they speak little to none of my language, somehow we seem to have a good understanding and communicate to a fairly good degree.
I have always had a strong appreciation for her culture and many of its inherent values, and I think this is greatly reflected in much of what we genuinely share. She is so unlike many people that I have dated in the past. I still have certain, perhaps societally or famially ingrained, lingering tendencies such as over-spending or over-gifting as a way of showing my deep respect and appreciation for her -- but she continues to gently admonish me at times for such, liking me most for my relatively quiet company and who I genuinely am, and not so much for anything I can materially provide necessarily.
Our nowadays multiple mutual friends, who have known her far longer than I, tell me we are perfectly suited for each other. People tell me I treat her like "a queen", and are sure we will be "hitched" within a year. But I'll tell you, I'm the lucky one. And I know it every day.
The thing is, love came to me when I stopped searching for it. I had all but given up in the past year, that I would ever find anyone again -- and I had largely come to accept this to some degree on perhaps multiple levels -- least not someone whom would like me near solely for my often somewhat quirky personality and quiet, gentle nature alone. But there is a very easy peace in our thus far relatively short-term, though oftentimes seemingly intense union. I'm no longer struggling to find something, achieve something, or hang onto something. I'm just immensely grateful for every fully present minute I have together with her, and try not to ever worry too much about what tomorrow holds. Greatly confident most days that she will continue to be there to share it with me.
Center a relationship strongly around giving and you will always have something to hang on to, no matter what transpires.
One day of genuine love is worth a year of toil in my book. Please don't give up, you'll find what you are looking for when the time is most right.
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