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Home > Family & People > Relationships   »   If he/or she wants you rules to dating.

 
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Old Nov 9, 2007, 12:44 PM
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jolienoire
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If he/or she wants you rules to dating.

If someone wants you


It never ceases to amaze me that most people who post on this site experienced this situation a perfectly loving relationship go sour. One minute the person you are with says "I love you" and the next day they want to end the relationship.

So I decided to put my input on this situation as to why I think people Love and Leave.
Well first and foremost, let's define the word

LOVE according to the dictionary it means transitive and intransitive verb to feel tender affection for somebody such as a close relative or friend, or for something such as a place, an ideal, or an anima an intense feeling of tender affection and compassion.

Now let’s define Commitment something that takes up time or energy, especially an obligation.

Love is not a commitment; it is not a guarantee, but only a tender affection or compassion for something.. So when we hear "I love you" something that channels in our brain tell us this mean "I want a commitment" Love is not an obligation but a privilege which can be revoked as fast as it was given.

Sometimes we read too much into the word! We give the word too much power and control. Those three words "I love you" usually make or break a relationship. We're always looking to hear it, versus feeling it. We know when it's forced. We know when the person means it we tell by their actions..

SO why is that when they act as if they don't want to be with us, show us all the signs, stop saying the word, mistreating us, We are in denial. Because this person said "I love you". Our whole world crumbles...

How many times you told someone you loved "I love you" did that ever warrant that you wanted to be with them? Or that you needed to be with them.. There are some people we love and we do it better from a distance... There are some we Love but know it just won't work!

So when someone says "I love you" for the first time maybe we shouldn't react so quickly to take them on those words until we actually see LOVE in action... To say it is one thing to show it is another. Perhaps if we start to stop blinding ourselves with the word being said and open our eyes to what is being done, then perhaps we can save ourselves from future heartbreaks.

What do you think?

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Old Nov 9, 2007, 07:54 PM   #2  
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Exactly!
Too often people want 'the chemistry' or
I love you because.... 'what does she/he do for me?
and they do not look at the long term commitment. Then they think there is no love and want to bail out when things aren't running smooth or according to what they want.

I use to tell my old ex bf that I loved him from a distance and actually he is the only guy that I still have some real feelings for.

Like they say Love is blind.
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Old Nov 10, 2007, 12:26 AM   #3  
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Perhaps but not necessarily. I've stated in many posts that I was with a man for several yrs that in every sense of the word seemed to adore me.

His actions were loving and caring and this was obvious to everyone in our lifes, and not just blind love on my part.

Then just a little over three months ago without any warning...He was gone with someone else...So i'm not sure how I could've avoided or saved myself from pain I never saw coming.

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N0help4u agrees: yeah been there felt that :(
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