My friend thought a guy I had started talking to was really cute for a long time. But they didn't talk very much and only recently started talking when something stupid happened between me and that guy. He walked me back after a party and we were both really really drunk. Somehow we ended up hooking up but apparently for only a few minutes because we both realized it was wrong. Mind you, I was to the point where I had to be told what happened the next morning as I had no recollection and don't even really know. I know it's my fault for getting into that position, but you can't imagine how hurt and used I felt by that. He then proceeded to ask me if he owed me anything, and if I would be mad if he hooked up with my friend later. That made me feel even crappier. I can't believe I let that happen, but of course I feel like I was taken advantage of. After convincing me he actually liked my friend I decided to not tell anyone what happened for the sake of their relationship - he actually liked her. Of course the truth came out and now everyone hates me for it. Yes, I made a mistake and didn't tell them straight up when it happened but I wanted it to go away. Not telling anyone was my way of dealing with the humiliation I felt. I should have warned her about it but I hope she can see it's not completely my fault alone. It's just scary to wake up and not know what happened and to realize you were totally violated essentially. But this friend and all my other friends won't even talk to me. Everyone's judging me because they feel like I did it on purpose. Of course something must have happened even if I was drunk but I am NOT easy. I don't ever go that far with people I'm not in a serious relationship with, so I'm positive a hookup was not my intention. But how do I apologize and get people to hear me when all they do is judge? I can't pretend like I wasn't hurt at all, but I don't deny my errors and I accept my mistake of not telling her honestly initially. I don't expect complete forgiveness but I finally got over weeks of feeling horrible, crying and feeling used and now I'm being blamed as if it is my fault and that I did it maliciously. She's mad that I acted as if everything was okay, but what else was I supposed to do? Any advice as to what I should do, or how to deal? I know I'm a terrible person :(

You're not a terrible person! You've had a life experience that MANY people have had. Learn from this. You are responsible for seeking the forgiveness of those you have offended. They are responsible for forgiving. If they cannot then that is their problem. People like to judge, it's their nature. From your post it seems that your friend wasn't dating this guy at that time nor ever prior to that night. You were within your bounds to hookup if that was what you wanted to do. You have no obligation to share your romantic or sexual history with anyone so relive yourself from feeling as if you had to give a confessional to this so-called friend. It sounds to me like you have a couple of concerns here. First, you got drunk and gave it up and that made up feel not so good. It happened. Get over it and resolve to avoid drinking to that point again. Second, you desire the forgiveness of folks who will not give it to you. Be clear about your remorse, seek forgiveness but then move on. Third, their judgment of you has become your judgment of yourself. Avoid this, recall all the wonderful things that you as a human being contribute to the world and others. One mistake doth not a reputation make! You might have to widen or narrow your circle of friends...

I would explain everything you just did in the OP minus the "I'm a terrible person" nonsense. Point out the silence was not for you, but for your friends feelings and well it was wrong it was done with good intentions. Then simply say this, "I'd like you to forgive me, if you can't then I guess I have misjudged this friendship." Then get the answer and be at peace with it.

You also asked how you do apologize when all people do is judge, well I guess that goes back to my original point. These people don't sound like friends if they won't even give you a chance to explain. This might have been a blessing because it really showed you a lot about the people around. Are you perfect. No. But their actions are not either.

Oh, dear you're not terrible, they are for making out to be that way. You made a mistake so what you're only human. They need to grow up and accept that you didn't do it intentionally. Apologize, and don't do it for their sake do it for yours, you're apologizing because of the guilt you have built up for the mistake you made, if they can't accept that be done with it and if they judge you after wards ask yourself, are you really what they make you out to be? You felt bad enough to put a story your ashamed of up online, so frankly dear I think that whatever they tell you about you is b.s.. If you're feeling bad it's because you're a good person, you cried because you have a heart, they judge because they have lost their sense of compassion.