Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   How to move on when you're still in love with him? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=589108)

  • Jul 24, 2011, 12:49 AM
    nicole024
    How to move on when you're still in love with him??
    I have been reading several passages about similar situations and I agree with ALL of them. My ex boyfriend and I broke up about 3 months ago and I'm still in love with him. I don't text, nor call him everyday, just when ever he cross my mind. I go out all the time and I meet new guys but they're just not my type or they have different motives.

    I really want to be over this guy, but I get lonely, sad and depressed. Sometimes I just sit and cry and then get mad at myself because I KNOW its pathetic.

    He was a cheater anyway but its something that's not allowing me to move on. Today I logged into Facebook (no, he's not my fbf, and I'm not stalking him) and his girl cousin popped up in my newsfeed. There were pics of her at Walt Disney world. When I clicked the pic, he was with a girl and his son, his mom and cousins like they been together for years and I was never there, but he JUST moved out of my home 3 months ago, staying with me 4years.

    Am I missing something here? They were hugged up, and I was devastated and heart broken, I guess its human nature to feel this way since I see I'm not the only one, but I REALLY JUST want to move on. I have my own Beauty Supply store and Im still in college, also I have a daughter so I'm ALWAYS busy but it doesn't blank him out my mind all day. At some point in the day he enters my brain and I hate it.

    Why me? Why can't I move on like him? Is it because he moved on first? IDK, but I do know I'm beating myself up over it, and its obsessive, ridiculous, humilitating to me, but I just don't know what to do anymore.

    Please someone help, when I get this mad I can't help but cry, I'm crying as I type this because its NONsense, and to him I must be a Non factor so WHY am I making him #1?

    I HATE IT, I HATE IT, AND I HATE MYSELF for allowing him to have this much control over MY feelings!!
  • Jul 24, 2011, 05:46 AM
    amicon

    Go 100% no contact-no texts etc and change your FB settings to avoid the newsfeed.

    Three months isn't a long time to get over a break up but you owe it to yourself and your child to heal-step by step one day at the time.
  • Jul 24, 2011, 02:12 PM
    talaniman

    You can't hurry the healing process, but you can help yourself a whole lot by not contacting him ever again, not seeing him on Facebook, or his FAMILY, or friends, and not sitting and dwelling and trigger those old feelings and memories. When you are alone, get up call a friend or do something, and stop beating yourself up about what he is doing, and what you are not.

    It will get better, you need to allow more time for the process to work. We all get down sometimes, whether it's a break up, or anything else unpleasant life throws at us.

    I use to hate it when an ex dumped me, and got someone else before I had my head wrapped around being dumped. Sucks, but thank God for family, friends, and activities that made me happy. Tough when your alone, though. That took some getting use to. Alone at bed time. SUCKS!
  • Jul 25, 2011, 07:18 AM
    blueiris982551
    Give yourself more time. 3 months is nothing compared to the time and investment you spent in this relationship. I have friends that have gone through breakups with relationships that only lasted a year and they were still devastated after 3 months. You have to ride out the storm but remember you've gotten over others and you will get over this one. May I suggest deleting any mutual contacts you two have on Facebook. In fact I might deactivate my profile for some time until you heal as Facebook tends to be depressing since everyone makes their lives out to be perfect. This will get better. Spend time with your daughter, focus on your business, meet up with friends and family. Try journaling and writing down your feelings. Make a list of all his bad traits and read it when you start to feel nostalgic. Absolutely no contact but it sounds like you've already implemented that rule. I'd be curious to hear from you in 3 months and see how far along you've come. Breakups are like a death and unfortunately there's no quick fix. Time, time and more time. You will heal and move on. Believe it and it will be true :-)
  • Jul 26, 2011, 03:56 PM
    nicole024
    Thank you all so much and I promise to keep you all informed, on Sunday I'm assuming that's when he came back to town,but he never knew that I seen the pics, he started sending me love songs to my iPhone and saying he want his family back, I did very well by not responding to about 7 of the texts but the last time I replied letting him know what I knew and that he doesn't have to explain because we're broke up anyway,but just to stop texting me because I will not be played,after that I guess he was shocked I knew and he didn't text again. But he's still on my mind

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:52 PM.