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How Long do "breaks"usually take and whats difference between break up and a break?
Ok.. My gf (ex for the time being) and i havnt talked in 4 days.. last time i seen her i made it clear that i was gonig to give her time and i erased her number and every connect that i have of her to make her know that i want her to have her space. We only dated almost 4 months, but we both agreed it was the best ever... it was love at first site.. she started school again, hanging out with friends and things. We didnt talk before for 3 days.. this was when she said she needed some time to think... during those 3 days.. she even told me that she was DYING to talk to me and text me but she didnt want to look like she was stupid becase she is the one who said she needed time. i made the mistake and texted her to see how she was doing. so i told her this time its for real.. and i deleted all her numbers.. extc..
Sooo i was just wondering.. how long goes it take.. does it matter on how strong we were as a couple before hand? or does she just want space to miss me so much that she will want to see me even more? Im a bit lost in this situtation.
She even told me when we decided to take a break, that this will make our 2nd part of our relationship stronger and better. I have no idea to think shes just playing me and bullSh#$ing me or telling the truth.
I talked to some of my friends.. they toldme it could take weeks.. maybe even a few months.. im not sure what to think at this time..
any tips or suggestions?
I know what NC really means now after i ed up once.. but same time she was dying to talk to me.. but i made it sure that this time.. if she wants to conect me, she HAS to make the first move.. cuase i cant. Deep inside.. i know we will be together again.. but it sucks not being able to talk to your best friend or be with that person.. : ((((((((
hey man i am in a pretty similar situation right now. My gf said she needed a break and some space to really think about things going on in her life and to see if we are really meant to be together. We still talk here and there, maybe once a day or every few days. She hasn't said anything like urs, about the second part of the relationship, but only that after some time and after school dies down and she can clear her head that she will really be able to understand and think about her future and our future. So it sucks yes, it could be worse i guess, they could have told us both to take a hike and not to call them or talk to them again. So reallly I don't think there is a set time limit in this situation. We are not in control and the only thing we can do is live our lives and hope they miss us enough to want us in their lives in the near future. I have a thread on here, that has a lot of good advice and posts from a lot of different people on this site. So I am just taking it day by day, if she needs me or wants to talk I will be there of course, b /c i love her and i know we have something still. So I guess my idea is to just be around, not like before, give her space and time to do other things and hopefully start fresh in a few weeks, months or whenever. Best of luck to you , hope things work out for the both of us.
See thats the part where im a bit confused...
Durning this time,,, do you believe the bullSh$#? such as " ya dont worry, it wont be long" or DOnt worry i love you you have no reason to be worried" these are the things which im just confused by...
Do i belive them or not? i mean during this whole time with her, she NEVER lied or anything to me... so i do believe her, same time i DONT want to have false hope and get hurt AGAIN.
Diffeecne with you and your girl is clear... you 2 STILL talk.. i mean my ex and I are on NC at all.. unless she makes first move.. but i mean her feelings for me were SOOO strong and still are.. and its like.. i know shes thinking if she textes me or calls me that she will think its making her look stupid or something.
Let me mention what my personal experience has been. I dated till I was 29 and got married and not to the same woman either during nearly all of that time.
I have never had a relationship that needed "breaks" that didn't eventually fall apart over issues of compatibility. Look at it as an early warning system.
If you have to get away from each other now what are you going to do if you ever get married? Gives you something to think about, right?
I've been married 16 years now since then....I get no "Breaks" nor do I need or want them. Wife and I go everywhere together. The only time we aren't together is at work.
yeah man i hear ya. Its tough to know what really is going through their heads during times like these. You just gotta have faith that things will work out for the best. It is not guaranteed by any means that my and my girl will get back together anytime soon or ever. We know each other and care about each other so much after 4 years that its hard to just cut all contact, especially when there is no real reason to be upset at one another. So its mostly her taking time to see what she wants and really feels. I can't pretend to understand it b/c i don't but you just have to go with it for now and do your own thing. I didnt talk to her for a week and then i called her. She thought I was movign on and upset and didnt call her b/c i was over it, and so she didnt call me. I am glad i called her b/c we were able to talk and clear things up, as much as possible for now. So when she is ready to talk again about her and us then we will. I am not sure if you guys agreed to do NC or you think its the best thing to do. I don't really have any advice, just follow what you think is right. Most of the time that will be right for you, and if it turns out badly, well i guess its a lesson learned. Well good luck, times are tough but eventually they will get better, with or without her.
sammee thing happend to me wiht my boyfriend. He said he needed a break to figure things out. and how he thinks he doenst give me the attention i deserve. I never text him untilh e texts me first i dont wanna be weird and clingy. He'll text me saying hes thinking about me and stuff. we hungout yesterday. and he told me he stil loved me and all that stuff, and how when he saw me hurt it killed him inside.
so idk how long breaks last. but jeeze dont they wear you down? i feel like complete all the time. i cant even be happy im always thiking about him
I am in a similar situation and its only been about three days. He decided we needed to break up because he said that he couldn't give me the attention i deserved because he is really focusing on his new career.
we have been in contact after the break up mostly to resolve that we do need some time apart. we decided that we will keep each other updated on things every once in a while, and i miss him so much already. i know that he loves me and i love him. but him being a guy, and i know him, its much easier for him to not contact me for a while.
My family and I are attending his graduation in four days, but after that its going to be a while before i talk to or see him. I'm just going to focus on my life for a while and hope that he realizes that he misses me and wants to be with me. I have to be strong and not call or text him for that to happen.
Its hard, but he is worth it. No matter what anyone says i love him and i have hope that we will get back together, i don't know when or how. Hang in there, we were together 4 years, i hope that he doesn't forget me that easily.
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