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Hi for all those who have read my previous post, thank you all for your great advise. I am addressing all the points raised.
My proplem is that I have shown a lot of disrespect to the woman I love. Through frustration and anger, I lashed out. I am sorting my angry emotions out, but I want this girl back in my life.
She is not speaking to me and has asked me to leave her alone. Because I have been judgemental and disrespectfull she does not like me as a person. This is not the real person that I am.
I last spoke to her 5 days ago, when she said that we will not be friends. I have done the no contact rule for the last 5 days but this is killing me. I want to send her flowers to apologise and say that I made mistakes but dont know if this is wise.
How can I get this girl to be back in my life after what I have done?
I think you definately need to give it time for the dust to settle. You have hurt her by judging her in the way you did and now you are consumed with guilt because of that. Essentially, you took out your own anger and insecurities on her and now you have become aware of this problem, you want a chance to put it right.
Do you think going back with her now will resolve these problems you have with anger and any insecurities you have? Just because you recognise the problem, it does not mean you can wave a magic wand and put it right.
I quote you on what you said in your previous thread:
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4answers
I know I will never be back with her, to much to work through for that to happen.
You are contradicting yourself now by saying you need her back in your life. You know however that there are things to work through relating to yourself and these things will take time for you to resolve.
Honesty is a good thing and admitting when you are in the wrong is a bold move. Flowers are unlikely to bring her back. Was the relationship quite young in terms of how long it went on for? If I am correct, was it just over a month old?
You see, if this correct, you were only with her for a short period of time and already your anger and insecurity had surfaced very quickly. She saw this and runs a mile before things get too deep.
Personally, I think she is gone for good and she has made this quite clear to you. Pushing her and trying to convince her otherwise is not going to work. It will push her further away.
I don't think any pain from this loss will last very long if you have not been emotionally invested in this relationship for very long. This in a way is the good thing about your situation. It leaves you with the freedom to take positive steps to work on your problems and make improvements to yourself, without the suffering that grieving will give you. That is not to say that you won't be a little hurt and perhaps feel a little rejected.
Who knows, if you did this alone, maybe she would come back but at the very least it would help you in the future to avoid the same mistakes and to have a more healthy relationship.
Yes, I remember you.. What exactly have you done to work on your anger issues, your history of showing disrespect for women, and your loss of self control in expressing frustration? Who have you gone to? What are your goals and how are you to achieve those goals? I am asking who has outlined anger amanagement strategies with you and agreed to counsel you? I do not need the name of the person - but want to know if you are truly following through. Anger does not go away on it's own.
As far as the girl is concerned, please let her have her own life. You keep pressing her and it is not going to draw her closer. You could find yourself with a restraining order. Then what are you going to do with your anger?
Please please get yourself well. History repeats itself time and time again UNLESS there is a conscious, dedicated, educated effort to make the difference. And do that for yourself, not because you want this girl in your life again.
You need to work on yourself and your issues first before you can have any kind of relationship with her or anyone else. Forget about her for now and work on you. See a counselor and get the therapy that you need. Then after you truly do change for the better maybe you can give it another go.
Forget the girl. Work on your own problems. Flowers will not help you so get smart and get help if you need it. If you wanted answers why didn't you take heed in your other thread?
A real apology is to correct the action that caused the harm in the first place regardless whether it gets you the girl back or not. Anything short of that is only an attempt to smooth it over that only the foolish buy. This may be a lesson to you that while some things are preventable, other things, once damaged, are not repairable. Trust often is one of those. For me, any sort of abusive behavior would amount to a permenant ending no matter what since I already know, having learned the hard way, what second chances with that usually means.
Hi for all those who have read my previous post, thank you all for your great advise. I am addressing all the points raised.
My proplem is that I have shown a lot of disrespect to the woman I love. Through frustration and anger, I lashed out. I am sorting my angry emotions out, but I want this girl back in my life.
She is not speaking to me and has asked me to leave her alone. Because I have been judgemental and disrespectfull she does not like me as a person. This is not the real person that I am.
I last spoke to her 5 days ago, when she said that we will not be friends. I have done the no contact rule for the last 5 days but this is killing me. I want to send her flowers to apologise and say that I made mistakes but dont know if this is wise.
How can I get this girl to be back in my life after what I have done?
Any advise?
hit her back tell her much you love her i have this one gurl im trying to get back in my life but i did not do anything wrong it was transportatin trouble but tell her how much you love her and tell her tht u r so so sry and u want to make everything beter and want it to work out and tht u were in the wrong and tht there will never be anybody else in this world tht love her and will love her more than you
Hi for all those who have read my previous post, thank you all for your great advise. I am addressing all the points raised.
My proplem is that I have shown a lot of disrespect to the woman I love. Through frustration and anger, I lashed out. I am sorting my angry emotions out, but I want this girl back in my life.
She is not speaking to me and has asked me to leave her alone. Because I have been judgemental and disrespectfull she does not like me as a person. This is not the real person that I am.
I last spoke to her 5 days ago, when she said that we will not be friends. I have done the no contact rule for the last 5 days but this is killing me. I want to send her flowers to apologise and say that I made mistakes but dont know if this is wise.
How can I get this girl to be back in my life after what I have done?
First of all she was disrepectful with you first when lie to you regarding sleeping with a
total stranger .
Second , you have strong believes regarding relationships drawing to you in sayng what have you said her . Now , I have doubts regarding your motivation to be with her knowing what happend in her past and the fact she already lie to you.
But that is only my opinion(don't whant to be rude to you). I really belive that if you and here go togheter you will can not handle this relation (the motives for what you did what you did are further in your mind but hide for now ).
Third : flowers may help , you have nothing to lose now .
Forget about no contact , in your situation apologize may help or not but without contact you can not aplogize , did you.
Have no expectation , but send her flowers and two words of sorry things.
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