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odinn7 · Nov 2, 2013, 08:14 PM

You're worried about how many guys she slept with....maybe she should be worried about how many girls you slept with....what's the difference? This was before you.

If you can't get over it, do her a favor and leave her alone....it will help if she has a chance to find someone more mature who can deal with things like this as an adult.

Matt999 · Nov 3, 2013, 06:05 AM

Originally Posted by odinn7

You're worried about how many guys she slept with....maybe she should be worried about how many girls you slept with....what's the difference? This was before you.

If you can't get over it, do her a favor and leave her alone....it will help if she has a chance to find someone more mature who can deal with things like this as an adult.

Yes I'm going to let her go I can't be with a girl who has been with to lads at once it's not right even though she was given the wrong drug! It's always on my mind and not healthy for me as much as I think she amazing and cute it will always be there

Alty · Nov 3, 2013, 12:57 PM

Originally Posted by Matt999

Yes I'm going to let her go I can't be with a girl who has been with to lads at once it's not right even though she was given the wrong drug! It's always on my mind and not healthy for me as much as I think she amazing and cute it will always be there

You're playing the victim, and the jury, and the judge.

If you can't live with someone's actions in the past, you don't love them enough to have a future.

It's not healthy for her to be with someone that doesn't love her enough to accept who she is. You're not nearly as noble as you try to make yourself sound. The truth is, she deserves better than you.

Wondergirl · Nov 3, 2013, 01:03 PM

Originally Posted by Matt999

Yes I'm going to let her go I can't be with a girl who has been with to lads at once

You've made the right decision. This would always eat at you, and you would use it against her during arguments. Best wishes finding someone who cherishes you and whom you can cherish.

odinn7 · Nov 3, 2013, 02:15 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You've made the right decision. This would always eat at you, and you would use it against her during arguments. Best wishes finding someone who cherishes you and whom you can cherish.

....and who can live up to your standards.

Wondergirl · Nov 3, 2013, 02:20 PM

Originally Posted by odinn7

....and who can live up to your standards.

Yup, and that too.

Alty · Nov 3, 2013, 02:20 PM

Originally Posted by odinn7

....and who can live up to your standards.

I'm guessing anyone that's had less sexual partners than him, or a virgin. If you've had a past, even though that's in the past, the OP can't handle it, even if he claims to love you. I doubt the OP knows the true meaning of love. Love is accepting everything about a person, understanding that the past is the past, and being able to move on. He can't do that. He's too insecure.

Matt999 · Nov 3, 2013, 06:09 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

I'm guessing anyone that's had less sexual partners than him, or a virgin. If you've had a past, even though that's in the past, the OP can't handle it, even if he claims to love you. I doubt the OP knows the true meaning of love. Love is accepting everything about a person, understanding that the past is the past, and being able to move on. He can't do that. He's too insecure.

I can deal with her sleeping with people in the past just not the mmf it's a horrible picture in my head and I don't look at her the same

Alty · Nov 3, 2013, 06:31 PM

Originally Posted by Matt999

I can deal with her sleeping with people in the past just not the mmf it's a horrible picture in my head and I don't look at her the same

Than get over her already. Why do you keep posting about this over and over again if you've dumped her? Move on, let her move on, let her find someone that can accept everything about her. She deserves that.

talaniman · Nov 4, 2013, 07:01 AM

You couldn't stand the heat so getting out of the kitchen is a good choice. Don't feel guilty.

mmresd · Nov 5, 2013, 05:12 PM

You need to stop asking questions, especially the ones that give you information you can't deal with. If she is forking over this information on her own, tell her she needs to stop. However, as far as her past goes you just make a decision of not caring. And to be completely honest with you, why does it matter? Everyone has a past, some darker than others, the past doesn't matter what matters is that she is with you now.

Matt999 · Dec 5, 2013, 05:23 PM

Ok guys thanks for all the advise I do love my girlfriend lots we get in so well and have a great time together but how do I forget these thoughts I've tried everything it would be nice to get answers from people in my situation

talaniman · Dec 5, 2013, 09:43 PM

You don't forget, you don't let them bother you and think of something else to focus on.

Matt999 · Dec 6, 2013, 07:26 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You don't forget, you don't let them bother you and think of something else to focus on.

We all no that's easier said than done lol it's only because I love her why it hurst I know this! Ill do this :)

Alty · Dec 6, 2013, 04:06 PM

Originally Posted by Matt999

We all no that's easier said than done lol it's only because I love her why it hurst I know this! Ill do this :)

Your problem is nothing in the grand scheme of things. The fact that this is bothering you this much, that you can't let it go, is troubling.

You've been with other people before her. She's been with other people before you. Why does it bother you this much? Is it only because she's had more sexual partners than you have? If so, why is that bothering you?

Love is unconditional. The past is the past, you can't change it. If you can't accept her past, you should let her go, let her find someone that doesn't ruin the relationship because of his own insecurities.

Matt999 · Dec 6, 2013, 05:01 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

Your problem is nothing in the grand scheme of things. The fact that this is bothering you this much, that you can't let it go, is troubling.

You've been with other people before her. She's been with other people before you. Why does it bother you this much? Is it only because she's had more sexual partners than you have? If so, why is that bothering you?

Love is unconditional. The past is the past, you can't change it. If you can't accept her past, you should let her go, let her find someone that doesn't ruin the relationship because of his own insecurities.

I get that it's the mmf that she was drugged in to it mate it eats me up because I love her I'm seeing a counsellor to help me change the way I think because I do dwell on it! We get on so well I never bring it up no more because I hate seeing her upset x

Alty · Dec 6, 2013, 05:07 PM

Originally Posted by Matt999

I get that it's the mmf that she was drugged in to it mate it eats me up because I love her I'm seeing a counsellor to help me change the way I think because I do dwell on it! We get on so well I never bring it up no more because I hate seeing her upset x

A counselor is a good idea, because this is your issue, not hers. She can't change her past no matter how you feel about it. It's not possible. The only option is for you to change how you feel about it. This is obviously eating you up, which is a problem, and is not conducive to a long term happy relationship no matter how much you love her.

You're the one that needs to change. She can't change the past.

Matt999 · Dec 6, 2013, 05:15 PM

Originally Posted by Alty

A counselor is a good idea, because this is your issue, not hers. She can't change her past no matter how you feel about it. It's not possible. The only option is for you to change how you feel about it. This is obviously eating you up, which is a problem, and is not conducive to a long term happy relationship no matter how much you love her.

You're the one that needs to change. She can't change the past.

This is what I have realised myself I want to be with her but can't change the past so I need to change the way I think! I really don't know why it bothers me some times I laugh at it! I no it doesn't matter just gets me guys loving the support though I know I'm not the only dippy person that thinks like this x

talaniman · Dec 6, 2013, 05:17 PM

I can't say I wouldn't have anger issues if I was with a girl that went through this. It was a sexual assault and she was but a victim. But you are taking some good positive step by getting help to deal with your feelings and that a good thing.

Good Luck.

Matt999 · Dec 6, 2013, 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I can't say I wouldn't have anger issues if I was with a girl that went through this. It was a sexual assault and she was but a victim. But you are taking some good positive step by getting help to deal with your feelings and that a good thing.

Good Luck.

Thanks Taliman she is not a slag or anything like that! I would love to smash there heads in! Sometimes I picture kicking the head of the first guy who she was seeing at the time makes me feel a bit better lol