How to get him/her back..


Ha, if you are reading this it means you are hoping you can win a loved one back. You are desperately seeking solutions in which you already know the answers to. You want to show them how big of a mistake they made. How foolish they were. How you were the best thing that ever happened to them.

You want them back, you can’t eat, sleep, think… concentrate your lonely frustrated desperate.. Checking your phone every 5 minutes, logging on to myspace/face book reading old text messages over and over again. Saying how could he/she?

Looking at pictures, and remembering the great sex and emotional connections that you shared. The arguments, the I love you the constant assurance of “you are the one”.

There were signs but you ignored them, perhaps they stopped saying I love you, they stopped calling, stop doing all the things they used to do in the beginning. You brushed it off making excuses blaming yourself for loving them to much. You basically become blind to the reality that this relationship is nearing an end. How can you expect a relationship to stay exactly the same as it was in the beginning when you grow day by day? Some people grow apart as they grow older some grow together in any situation growing means changing. As long as we grow we will always be out of our comfort zone. Nothing will ever be just right there will always be challenges, obstacles, and not so perfect conditions. Life is change, growth is optional make a choice and choose wisely. Change is inevitable and growth is intentional. All movement is not forward but sometimes you have to take a step back to see a clearer picture, this step is coming to acceptance that this relationship was not meant to be.

You have to be true to yourself and realize that if you can’t put your heart in it take yourself out of it. Sometimes letting go allows you to see if it was worth holding on to. Confidence doesn’t come from having all the answers it comes from being open to all the questions..


The truth is everyone should compel themselves to loneliness occasionally, because most of your greatest achievements and thoughts come from loneliness. When you have a clear mind, and can evaluate your true self without the disruption of life minor fallbacks. Stop regretting the past and fearing the future..

Live and instead of trying to figure out how to get him/her back focus on getting yourself back. Be thankful for finding love, embrace who you are. If we can put as much as we do into our relationships as much as we put into ourselves than we will realize that no one can ever love us as much as we love ourselves.. Therefore we are responsible for our own happiness.

So to answer the question how do I get them back? Look in the mirror the change and the beginning and end starts with yourself. It starts with acceptance, confidence, change, growth…It starts with realizing there is no such thing as perfect circumstances only accepting to see imperfections as a perfect part of living. Living is learning, learning is growing, growing means change, change is the beginning and the beginning reflects the ending…

Say to yourself, I love me, I am the mason of my dreams, I am going to love myself enough to know that ignoring someone else issues is me settling. I will not settle. I will improve myself first. I will understand how difficult it is to change myself, I will realize how difficult it is to change others. I realize that there is no such thing as perfect conditions. I will take each day at a time, and not fear my future. I will not regret my past, for it has made me who I am today . I will love myself first! And most importantly I will continue to be the best me I can be. Remember that we all human it takes a step back to see the clearer picture. I will not continue to make the same mistakes. I will learn from my mistake. I will accept loneliness as a blueprint to my success ahead and build my future based on my past. I will not look back but look ahead to brighter days. Now that I am on my path I will thank all those who have made me who I am today.

AmExp

Yeah that was a great post! I needed this. Like poster #1 said...I am going to need this on an index card!

mustard_seed

Everyone should study these wise and fruitful words of truth. I don't know about the rest of you but copy/paste into MS Office, then print will do me just fine. It's going on my wall tonight! Many thanks jolienoire!!!

jrebel7

Joli, this one statement speaks volumes!

godsbabygirl267

Yes! Sticky it is. wow. You just wiped out any and all questions i had about which one to choose or who to take back, ect. ect. I dont need all that! Ill be me!

mustard_seed

Your quote: True or False, All is fair in Love and War?!?!
My answer is yes. By any means. if the outcome is worth the battle. Go get 'em.

movinrightalong

jolienoire,

You have given great advice and insight to how we have or are feeling after the breakup. I with flip back to this often as I continue my healing and take these word to heart. As much as I would like to have hope that there is the possibility of reconciliation, I have to believe and expect that it won't happen. Maybe one day, I won't want to anyway.

She left me, now I have to leave her.

Thank you.

jrebel7

Powerful statement! I think part of why break ups are so difficult is because the choice is made by one, generally and the other person feels they had no choice. Your statement allows good emotional health because too many times we choose to remain (in our hearts and in our heads) in a non-existant relationship.

Good for you and thanks for sharing that.

Bicho

U said everything I needed to hear! Now I have a lot to do in my lonliness and thank the man who has hurt me for he gave me the chance to get my 'lost' self.Thank you!

jolienoire

Glad that I can help and sorry for the delay in response I was on vacation, We all have been heartbroken but its a break up not a break down...these feelings will fade.. and you will look back and be thankful that they happened it's the only way we will ever learn..

spion_kop

Yea, my girlfriend broke up with me 1 month ago and started dating another guy two days later. I realized the kind of person that she is and it helped me a lot. Now, I'm just focusing on myself and wanting what's best for me. If i can better myself and learn from my mistakes, women will want to be with me instead of me wanting to look around.
As somebody said before, if you love yourself, others will love you. Plus if you are really meant to be with your ex, it will happen. Why bother controlling fate/destiny if it's not in your hands?

All you can do is live your life and enjoy every moment as if it could be your last. Life is too short to think about the past and hold onto something that may not be there.