How to get him/her back..


Ha, if you are reading this it means you are hoping you can win a loved one back. You are desperately seeking solutions in which you already know the answers to. You want to show them how big of a mistake they made. How foolish they were. How you were the best thing that ever happened to them.

You want them back, you can’t eat, sleep, think… concentrate your lonely frustrated desperate.. Checking your phone every 5 minutes, logging on to myspace/face book reading old text messages over and over again. Saying how could he/she?

Looking at pictures, and remembering the great sex and emotional connections that you shared. The arguments, the I love you the constant assurance of “you are the one”.

There were signs but you ignored them, perhaps they stopped saying I love you, they stopped calling, stop doing all the things they used to do in the beginning. You brushed it off making excuses blaming yourself for loving them to much. You basically become blind to the reality that this relationship is nearing an end. How can you expect a relationship to stay exactly the same as it was in the beginning when you grow day by day? Some people grow apart as they grow older some grow together in any situation growing means changing. As long as we grow we will always be out of our comfort zone. Nothing will ever be just right there will always be challenges, obstacles, and not so perfect conditions. Life is change, growth is optional make a choice and choose wisely. Change is inevitable and growth is intentional. All movement is not forward but sometimes you have to take a step back to see a clearer picture, this step is coming to acceptance that this relationship was not meant to be.

You have to be true to yourself and realize that if you can’t put your heart in it take yourself out of it. Sometimes letting go allows you to see if it was worth holding on to. Confidence doesn’t come from having all the answers it comes from being open to all the questions..


The truth is everyone should compel themselves to loneliness occasionally, because most of your greatest achievements and thoughts come from loneliness. When you have a clear mind, and can evaluate your true self without the disruption of life minor fallbacks. Stop regretting the past and fearing the future..

Live and instead of trying to figure out how to get him/her back focus on getting yourself back. Be thankful for finding love, embrace who you are. If we can put as much as we do into our relationships as much as we put into ourselves than we will realize that no one can ever love us as much as we love ourselves.. Therefore we are responsible for our own happiness.

So to answer the question how do I get them back? Look in the mirror the change and the beginning and end starts with yourself. It starts with acceptance, confidence, change, growth…It starts with realizing there is no such thing as perfect circumstances only accepting to see imperfections as a perfect part of living. Living is learning, learning is growing, growing means change, change is the beginning and the beginning reflects the ending…

Say to yourself, I love me, I am the mason of my dreams, I am going to love myself enough to know that ignoring someone else issues is me settling. I will not settle. I will improve myself first. I will understand how difficult it is to change myself, I will realize how difficult it is to change others. I realize that there is no such thing as perfect conditions. I will take each day at a time, and not fear my future. I will not regret my past, for it has made me who I am today . I will love myself first! And most importantly I will continue to be the best me I can be. Remember that we all human it takes a step back to see the clearer picture. I will not continue to make the same mistakes. I will learn from my mistake. I will accept loneliness as a blueprint to my success ahead and build my future based on my past. I will not look back but look ahead to brighter days. Now that I am on my path I will thank all those who have made me who I am today.

jolienoire

Thats soo wonderful... we will survive. .. That's what I try to tell ppl, that a failed relationship brings you one step closer to the one you are destined to be with ...

best wishes to you and your family...

CaribMan

just to let you know i put this on my pda phone so eveytime im bored at work and think of her i whip out ma phone and read this page ...i still think of her but your post helps to calm me down to a degree that i feel better about myself

jolienoire

Good for you... glad that I can help someone... she may have been your first true love but she definetly won't be your last romance...

COOKIE MONSTER

i think your post will help alot of people i wish id red it years ago,i tryd to win afew people back,back then but it didnt work and im glad because it wouldnt of worked anyway. ive found areally nice fella hes great with me and mykids,i thort id never meet anyone bein asingle mum with 2kids its hard to get out n meet people so i joined adating site it started off as abit of fun to pass the time chattin to people,then i started chattin to myfella weve everythin in common we never watch tv lol except the football but most of the time we sit up talkin allnite,he takes me out for dinner and spoils the kids but he fills the hole in myheart n makes me feel complete IT WAS WELL WORTH ALL THE HEARTACHE N PAIN IVE BEEN THROUGH OVER THE YEARS JUST TO GET TO HIM

Destro3000

This is a really nice post, it resumes quite well what everyone has been telling me about my heartache as of late. Unfortunately, not all of us are able to a) let go and move on and b) think of ourselves first.

I was told to be brave and work on myself, and it isnt really helping. I fear the love of my life is gone forever and i cant quite get myself to let go.

But i have all the respect and admiration in the world for those of you who can.

Thank you for the post.

jolienoire

We all have that fear but the reality is that if you LOVE them and truly LOVE them, I know what I will say may sound cliche, but when you truly love someone you want them to be happy.. That includes and should include with or without us... Unconditional love, accepting their decision to not be with us is an unconditional attribute..

I know we get selfish because we want to be the only ones that can make them happy but the reality is that if we are not making them happy, and they feel they are much happier than without us, we MUST let go..

It hurts of course but.. it is apart of life it's inevitable we all must face some disappointments and let downs at some point, thats why it's learning. It makes us stronger prepare us for the road ahead.. This could be the best thing that happened to you.. You got to love a great person, it just wasn't meant to be... If you allowed yourself to love you already gained something..

Delow84

Beautifully said Jolienoire. I can understand. I feel like I may never love again and all that, I loved my ex good and bad. But I would rather her be happy with someone else, then miserable with me. Even if it makes me miserable to be without her.

a quote from one of my favorite movies "Vanilla Sky"
"The sweet isnt as sweet, until you've experienced the sour."

sovaira

this was awesome diary ,that tells the story of evryone out here ,everyoone among us has been through .......................lovely type up (write up)

losingit77

On a particular sad day today, Day 1 officially of breakup, this really really helped. Think I'll be reading this everyday for a while now to remind just how awesome I am.

jolienoire

You are awesome allowing yourself to love another uncondtionally explains alot about your character, some ppl never have the oppurtunity to love like this.. To truly know what it means to love, and be loved.. You experienced it, you have changed someone's life whether you like to believe it or not and to be able to say those THREE words and mean it, are truly special... I hope that each day would get better for you, and who knows you can reconnect again at some point later in life, just don't make any hasty moves to destroy that give the space they ask for. I know I am with an ex 10 years later... I would have never in a million years would have imagined us to be together again.. but here we are whether we make it or not for another 10 years I am so thankful to love him again... We were able to rekindle our old flame because of the way we left eachother....