How to get him/her back..


Ha, if you are reading this it means you are hoping you can win a loved one back. You are desperately seeking solutions in which you already know the answers to. You want to show them how big of a mistake they made. How foolish they were. How you were the best thing that ever happened to them.

You want them back, you can’t eat, sleep, think… concentrate your lonely frustrated desperate.. Checking your phone every 5 minutes, logging on to myspace/face book reading old text messages over and over again. Saying how could he/she?

Looking at pictures, and remembering the great sex and emotional connections that you shared. The arguments, the I love you the constant assurance of “you are the one”.

There were signs but you ignored them, perhaps they stopped saying I love you, they stopped calling, stop doing all the things they used to do in the beginning. You brushed it off making excuses blaming yourself for loving them to much. You basically become blind to the reality that this relationship is nearing an end. How can you expect a relationship to stay exactly the same as it was in the beginning when you grow day by day? Some people grow apart as they grow older some grow together in any situation growing means changing. As long as we grow we will always be out of our comfort zone. Nothing will ever be just right there will always be challenges, obstacles, and not so perfect conditions. Life is change, growth is optional make a choice and choose wisely. Change is inevitable and growth is intentional. All movement is not forward but sometimes you have to take a step back to see a clearer picture, this step is coming to acceptance that this relationship was not meant to be.

You have to be true to yourself and realize that if you can’t put your heart in it take yourself out of it. Sometimes letting go allows you to see if it was worth holding on to. Confidence doesn’t come from having all the answers it comes from being open to all the questions..


The truth is everyone should compel themselves to loneliness occasionally, because most of your greatest achievements and thoughts come from loneliness. When you have a clear mind, and can evaluate your true self without the disruption of life minor fallbacks. Stop regretting the past and fearing the future..

Live and instead of trying to figure out how to get him/her back focus on getting yourself back. Be thankful for finding love, embrace who you are. If we can put as much as we do into our relationships as much as we put into ourselves than we will realize that no one can ever love us as much as we love ourselves.. Therefore we are responsible for our own happiness.

So to answer the question how do I get them back? Look in the mirror the change and the beginning and end starts with yourself. It starts with acceptance, confidence, change, growth…It starts with realizing there is no such thing as perfect circumstances only accepting to see imperfections as a perfect part of living. Living is learning, learning is growing, growing means change, change is the beginning and the beginning reflects the ending…

Say to yourself, I love me, I am the mason of my dreams, I am going to love myself enough to know that ignoring someone else issues is me settling. I will not settle. I will improve myself first. I will understand how difficult it is to change myself, I will realize how difficult it is to change others. I realize that there is no such thing as perfect conditions. I will take each day at a time, and not fear my future. I will not regret my past, for it has made me who I am today . I will love myself first! And most importantly I will continue to be the best me I can be. Remember that we all human it takes a step back to see the clearer picture. I will not continue to make the same mistakes. I will learn from my mistake. I will accept loneliness as a blueprint to my success ahead and build my future based on my past. I will not look back but look ahead to brighter days. Now that I am on my path I will thank all those who have made me who I am today.

jaywave

i've just posted a question

Is she playing a game?

and jolie???....it scares me how much of what you said is what i did. but with me, our relationship seemed pretty solid after the first break up. i could kind of understand if she cheated on me if our relationship was stale and declining, but right up until the day she left on holiday i thought we were so in love!!! she certainly gave that impression. guess that first 12 hours pretty much summed up what the relationship was....a total waste of time, money and effort.

chuff

I'm sorry but something about that seems strange. Men don't generally push for relationships to begin with and then to push for one with someone who just got divorced almost makes me believe something else was going on there. It sure comes off like he had something else in mind, what I don't know but it doesn't sound like it was in your best interest, whatever it was.


He moved for you and had your future planned, why?


I'm going to throw this out there, but I think your devastation was actually from the divorce and this "relationship" afterwards was a distraction from the true loss you were facing. The brain kept you busy with the new guy who may have done some new, different, and exciting things from what you were accustomed to but he was a temporary fix for the actual loss you were feeling. Once he was gone, the loss came back but now you've attributed it to him and not the divorce.


Very possible. You don't seem to have a self identity, which is very important if your going to date. It stops guys from picking up girls who have been recently divorced and planning there own future with them. I say that because if you look at the bigger picture, you seemed like you were vulerable and he took advantage of it. It's now to time to reclaim yourself without anyone in your life so you know who you are and what you will put up with for the future guys you date.


Build it back up. This site offer great ideas and links, bluerose has a lot of great links for you on this very topic. I also recommend you listen to Tony Robbins, people can think what they want but he offers you some great insites on how to think positive and even reprogram your brain for positive results. Keeping your self esteem up is like working out, you can't do it for a week and expect lifetime results, you must practice it for a lifetime and love the results.


Well you must be the only one who's ever done that. So what, so has everybody, it can't be any worse then any hollywood celebrity who's on the front page of a magazine at the check out line. Put it into perspective, and laugh it off.

chuff

WRONG!!!! This attitude writes off the relationship as you have wrote it..."a total waste of time, money, and effort." Your attitude needs to be, "This relationship ended as new ones will come, but what positive things did I learn and can I take for the future." If you keep telling yourself this was a waste of time, you do not give yourself the benefit of getting something for the pain you now feel. Pain is going to happen in life, that's the reality, what you get from that pain, that is YOUR reality. Make the pain worth it and get something from it for your own good.

tootired75

Thanks Chuff! I especially took note of your comments about the new guy being a distraction. Maybe it really if the divorce that I am "grieving" Displaced emotions so to speak. Good point. Your adivce was great Thanks

-M-

delfinno

my girlfriend break up with me on MSN about 2 weeks age since then i have send few sms to her wanting her back. I truely love her. after two weeks now she is coming to pick up her things from our place and moving to another town..i really want her ..i have reflex on all the things that went wrong and i am even willing to move to the town that she is moving. but what can i say to her when she comes to park up her things ..? I really want her back !

natasblue

I'm not trying to get an ex back but have very good friends who are having major marriage issues. wow, you really have some heart and soul not to mention an amazing talent to express it into writing. I'm going to forward the advice to my married friends and hope that it helps them out with some of there issues. This is what I call beautifull. thank you so much for sharing because of it i have gained some empowerment as an individual and could and will help someone else. thanx

mustard_seed

How do you go about getting back on track when you are living together but are apart emotionally and physically?

brennlee

I just saw this

thank you

I am always so troubled with what i already know is true

you would think I was naive but I am just heartbroken.