How do you treat the "other woman"

Tuscany · #1 Jan 29, 2007, 07:35 AM

My cousin just recently left his wife of 18 years for a woman that he has been dating for 18 months. His wife and I have been very close of a number of years, and I feel so bad for her and the children. He does not want his ex wife coming to family functions, which is killing her children, and her nieces and nephews. And at the upcoming family Superbowl party he is bringing the "other woman." My family and I are having a very hard time with this. We are not sure how to act, what to do. We don't want to be rude, but we don't want to let the other children in the family to think that cheating is ok. How should I act towards her?

curlybenswife · Jan 29, 2007, 07:43 AM

Dont evy you this one hunn, being nice will make you feel like your being unfaithfull to the wife but on the other hand you cant cause a rift because the kids will pick up on it.
If it was me in the situation i would be polite say hi but leave it at that you may find at other points in the evening that you will get a chance to talk further with her just remember she hasnt caused the break up single handly he has done just as much damage.
I wish you luck and send you hugs xx

Kiddybaby · Jan 29, 2007, 07:50 AM

You don't have to be the other woman's best friend but treat her as you would any other new person you'd meet. This is his decision and while it may impact the whole family you may complicate things by adding fuel to the fire. You can still be friends with his wife and be great to the children. You and the family can spend time with the wife and the children independent of him. The family may not agree with his choices but just keep in mind that he will have to live with the consequesnces of his actions in due time.

Wildcat21 · Jan 29, 2007, 07:51 AM

I think the other women is trash IF she was seeing him while they were still married. ID SO - treat her how you would treat the trash that was taken out. Seriously - any real women would have no business with a married man until he was divorced.

Synnen · Jan 29, 2007, 07:54 AM

After 18 years, his wife is as much family as he is.

If you are hosting, feel free to invite her and the kids, and leave him and his woman out of it.

You could ALSO just not invite the other woman until she actually IS family.

Your cousin is a real jerk, and I hope that the family is vocal about telling him so.

Wildcat21 · Jan 29, 2007, 07:56 AM

Oh yes - you're cousin is trash as well. Just not associate wit heither.

Tuscany · Jan 29, 2007, 07:58 AM

My cousin was married while seeing this other woman.
I have lost so much respect for him, his mother is torn apart, his children are at odds with him and refuse to speak to him.
Now he wants his family to shun his wife and accept this new woman...It makes me sick.
I personally can't do that...I just don't have it in me.

Synnen · Jan 29, 2007, 08:14 AM

If it is something that YOU are hosting, you can choose your guests. If he throws a fit, let him know that he's not invited because you don't agree with his behaviour, and refuse to let your children see a role model for such horrible behaviour.

And if you are close to his wife, by all means invite her. If YOU are the host/hostess, YOU choose who to invite. Maybe if all of his family does this, he'll get the point.



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