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gurlygurl101 · Mar 19, 2009, 05:19 PM

How do you stop loving someone that you know is a bad person to be with and treats you badly?? I know I shouldn't be with him but I can't stop loving him! Its very complicated. We've been together through everything major in our loves. So after our past... how do you stop loving the person??

nolies · Mar 19, 2009, 06:20 PM

I'm in this EXACT thing right now. I'm not kidding you. What I've learned to do... is just take it day by day, and I know when my friends told me that I was like, yeah right, you don't understand and I didn't really know what they meant. But what you have to do, is set a daily goal, like "i'm not going to call him today, he's going to have to call me" and sure enough, it worked... I didn't call him at all, I didn't call him to say good morning, to ask how his day was going or to say good night, he called me and it showed he did care. Or make him ask when you guys can hang out, and say I don't know yet, I might have other plans, and at first my guy was like oh all right like it was no big deal, but after doing that a couple times he was like "oh...well what are you doing?" thinking maybe I had found someone else, which I hadn't, I just wanted to see what he'd do... trust me, it's SO SO hard, and I'm still going through it right now, but just setting those little daily goals helped me so much.

talaniman · Mar 20, 2009, 09:02 PM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...do-330993.html

You leave them alone, and have no further contact with them. You may not stop the feelings, but you will stop the fights, and drama.

9Lives · Mar 21, 2009, 12:26 AM

It is one of the hardest things to do but you need to let go and find clarity for your own life. I love my ex to death too but it is not working. Take it day by day. That is it. I went out and had a good time. I gave my number to a couple of guys and that is what I am going to be doing. I have got to move on

neverme · Mar 21, 2009, 06:47 AM

Take it day by day, you are giving yourself everything that they couldn't.

After a while you'll see that it's not that hard.

I wish · Mar 21, 2009, 06:51 AM

The best way is to stop communicating with each other. Avoid contacting him and if he contacts you, don't answer. You don't have to ignore him forever, just until you feel comfortable with yourself again. You've grown really dependent on this guy, it's time to gain back your independence.

MiSSsy111222 · Mar 21, 2009, 02:23 PM

I don't think you can just stop loving someone. But I think time helps you to handle these feelings. The best way to move on from this person is to distance yourself from him. Treat it like a death, mourn your past relationship and move on.

Bengie_1961 · Mar 21, 2009, 02:53 PM

Originally Posted by MiSSsy111222

i dont think you can just stop loving someone. But i think time helps you to handle these feelings. The best way to move on from this person is to distance yourself from him. Treat it like a death, mourn your past relationship and move on.

I agree with you 100%. Only time heals all. It may seem like infinity, but in retrospect it isn't. The more attention you give to it or dwell on it, the longer it will take. If you keep it in your mind, that is where it will remain. You'll always remember someone that you've loved, but don't let it take over your being. Remember, whatever we think about, we bring about. Whatever your circumstance now, it is only a reality that will change. You will be OK. Take care.