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How do you not give up altogether?

Asked Aug 28, 2007, 06:03 PM — 34 Answers
I have never been married, never engaged...I'm in my thirties, educated, very successful career, more than one person has told me that I'm the nicest person that they have ever met, and I've been told that I'm attractive all my life...blah, blah, blah Somehow love has eluded me. There have been times when I've avoided it altogether because I didn't want to get my feelings hurt again. Most recently once again I met someone out of the blue, and once again it didn't work out (never really got started). I am discouraged and don't even want to try. My friends, relatives and co-workers don't help because they keep saying that no one is good enough. How can I keep from losing all hope?

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34 Answers
GlindaofOz's Avatar
GlindaofOz Posts: 2,339, Reputation: 1820
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#2

Aug 28, 2007, 06:08 PM
Well would you rather be single or be married to the wrong person and stuck in a miserable marriage?

Are you maybe sabotaging yourself in these relationships? Are your standards really high? Where are you meeting people? Are you out there trying? Have you tried dating sites? Speed dating? Matchmakers? There is always hope and always another avenue you just have to work at it. If you want something in your life I'm sure you go for it so why not this?
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sweetlady7's Avatar
sweetlady7 Posts: 13, Reputation: 10
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#3

Aug 28, 2007, 06:11 PM
I do have high standards, but I don't think they are overly high. I don't want just anyone - being alone is better than that. I have barely tried a dating site...honestly I found it depressing. Thanks for the answer.
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GlindaofOz's Avatar
GlindaofOz Posts: 2,339, Reputation: 1820
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#4

Aug 28, 2007, 06:14 PM
I would give it another shot. My brother met his wife on eharmony. She is his perfect match in every way. He has high standards and decided that he wanted to meet someone. So he signed up for eharmony and approached it like business. He went out with everyone who he was matched with and spent a month or two just dating everyone then narrowed it down to three girls and then to his lovely wife. You never know.

Also a lot of cities have matchmakers that work with successful people like yourself and match them with other high caliber individuals.
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nicespringgirl's Avatar
nicespringgirl Posts: 1,240, Reputation: 990
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#5

Aug 28, 2007, 06:15 PM
Aw...sweetlady7, pull a chair, hugs...tears...laughters...
We are def. Sisters!
I feel the same thing as you do!
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nicespringgirl's Avatar
nicespringgirl Posts: 1,240, Reputation: 990
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#6

Aug 28, 2007, 06:17 PM
Quote:
I have never been married, never engaged
I have never had a boyfriend,I am 23
Quote:
educated, very successful career, more than one person has told me that I'm the nicest person that they have ever met, and I've been told that I'm attractive all my life...blah, blah, blah Somehow love has eluded me.
EXACTLY LIKE ME!
Quote:
There have been times when I've avoided it altogether because I didn't want to get my feelings hurt again.
Quote:
Most recently once again I met someone out of the blue, and once again it didn't work out (never really got started).
I went to couple dates just movies and hang out but didn't work out, they think I am overqualified, I was a little bit hurt.
I met a guy who is in Cambridge now a year ago, didn't work out either.
Quote:
I am discouraged and don't even want to try. My friends, relatives and co-workers don't help because they keep saying that no one is good enough.
Same here, everyone thinks there is no one is good enough for me.

HUGS!

WHat are we going to do stweety7?
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sweetlady7's Avatar
sweetlady7 Posts: 13, Reputation: 10
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#7

Aug 28, 2007, 06:21 PM
I wish I knew what to say to you...you are actually young (that isn't helpful though, is it?).
Oh "I look younger when I smile ", I still get carded everywhere, and I'm 37.
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nicespringgirl's Avatar
nicespringgirl Posts: 1,240, Reputation: 990
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#8

Aug 28, 2007, 06:24 PM
I think guys like us, but they are a little bit intimidated...
And they don't really admit it.

I am young, but there is not one single person I know that have never had a boyfriend by the age of 23. I basically never dated only two dates in my whole life. So total should be about 4 hours. Period.

Hey do we work at the same place? You work for global 500?
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GlindaofOz's Avatar
GlindaofOz Posts: 2,339, Reputation: 1820
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#9

Aug 28, 2007, 06:30 PM
I'm 28 and only one of my friends is engaged. The rest of us have no boyfriends and we always have a hard time meeting quality guys. I feel like my standards are that high I just want someone who matches me. Is it so wrong to want someone who is ambitious, mentally and emotionally healthy, funny, smart and close to their family oh and they can't smoke or do drugs. But I feel the pinch from people. Its like they always ask why you aren't seeing anyone in a way that says "what' wrong with YOU?".

I tried everything however I recently moved and I'm considering trying it all over again. I had little success with online dating when I lived in NY. I think that guys in Jersey are a little less stuck up and jerky then New Yorkers. I would love to have a great result like my brother.
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nicespringgirl's Avatar
nicespringgirl Posts: 1,240, Reputation: 990
Ultra Member
  
#10

Aug 28, 2007, 06:39 PM
I don't really trust online dating. NOt the site but the people. It seems like everyone is perfect,lol. People can hide stuff during advertising themselves.
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