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If you were to find out that your partner cheated on you, how would you react to/deal with the infidelity (the hurt, the anger, the betrayal)? And how do you forgive something like that? Is it possible to move on and learn to trust each other again? Or do you give up with no more chances and take a zero tollerance policy no matter how much you love the person?
The choice is up to the person. Everyone deals with it differently. Personally, I think I would be forgiving but in the long run I know the relationship wouldn't work because i will always be insecure due to the fact of infidelity. Good luck!
I forgave my (now ex) husband for his infidelity but that did not prevent the divorce. I fgured that him having the affairs he did was just a symptom of what was really wrong. Like the tip of the iceberg.
You can move on and learn to trust again, it just might take a bit longer - your eyes will be more wide open and your sensors will be able to pick up more clues. Which is not a bad thing. Erring on the side of caution was something I wish I had done from the beginning and not have been "blinded by love."
One of the keys is not to rush any relationship. Time is really on your side. Best of all to you.
I dunno if you're religious, but the Bible talks of forgiveness---of grace (free, undeserved love.). It also states that adultry is grounds for divorce.
Take what you want from that (you don't have to be religious to realize there's some pretty wise stuff in there), but I think what it is getting at is this:
Yeah...forgive. Don't harbor anger. That won't make your life better. Let go of that anger--focus on what YOU are doing with YOUR life. Don't worry about the other so much. Forgiveness is also important, because we all mess up and make mistakes. If you don't forgive someone who adimits their fault and is sorry, they have to deal with an insane amount of guilt for a very long time--perhaps forever. And that's not right to make someone (who is sorry) go through.
I know how hard it can be to let go of anger and want a cheater to feel miserable for days and days to come. (I've been cheated on.) But, that's not being a mature, good-hearted person. Again, focus on what you can control---yourself. Don't complicate your mind with the bad others did to you. Let their minds be complicated with that so they might feel regret and change. Set your mind free. Forgive. Be happy that you are being a respectable person by doing something hard but what you know is right.
However...cheating is grounds for ending a relationship. End it, forgive them, stop caring about what they did, and move on. I personally, like emopunk, would not be able to get back into a relationship where I got cheated on--for the same reasons. Insecurity. But that insecurity is more valid. Trust was broken. Wouldn't be a good relationship.
If you were to find out that your partner cheated on you, how would you react to/deal with the infidelity (the hurt, the anger, the betrayal)? And how do you forgive something like that? Is it possible to move on and learn to trust each other again? Or do you give up with no more chances and take a zero tollerance policy no matter how much you love the person?
There is no right or wrong answer here. Is the person truly remorseful? Is the person willing to do the hard, necessary work to build back trust? Are they willing to go to therapy to find out why the cheating even happened and prevent future occurances? Was it a one time thing or serial cheating? All of these things would factor into my ability to forgive or the decision to cut and run.
I do feel in forgiveness as quoted in bible but as far as trusting that person I don't think I could. When me ex started dating I told her If you cheat on me PLEASE break up with me first before doing it. Because that would kill me in my heart. I believe cheating is just as bad as a women getting raped.
if i found out my partner cheated they would be out the door with a footprint in their .
Seriously i think personally that that is the worst thing that a partner can do in a relationship, there would be no trust left and that is very impotant.
Besides if you took em back whats to stop them doing it again, id say kill the snake before it bites.
Oh and besides if you looked any thing like your pic then who in their right mind would cheat on ya
The old saying goes "Cheat on me once shame on you" "cheat on me twice shame on you " "cheat on me a third time shame on me." everyone deserves a 2nd chance but if they mess up again their out the door, don't let them stick around for the 3rd time. You must realize that the cheating has very little to do with you. It is the cheaters lack of morals, insecureness and weakness that cause's them to cheat. But if you choose to stay you must do this with an open heart and the understanding that your spouse has much work to do on himself and "I'm sorry is not going to be the cure " If you would have...etc, or would not have...etc, do not let him/her make you the scapegoat, do not accept responsibility for their actions.
do not let him/her make you the scapegoat, do not accept responsibility for their actions.
Taking in all you've written about your husband your doing exacty what bushg is talking about. He is a lying, cheating thief. Ask yourself, what has he done to deserve you staying??? Your love is not enough to change him.
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