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If you were to find out that your partner cheated on you, how would you react to/deal with the infidelity (the hurt, the anger, the betrayal)? And how do you forgive something like that? Is it possible to move on and learn to trust each other again? Or do you give up with no more chances and take a zero tollerance policy no matter how much you love the person?
Some times people can only see what they want. If he really loved you would he cheat on you???
Ask yourself would you cheat on him???
You no what the answer is, there is no room for cheating in a relationship, a relationship is about caring and being woth someone you love. Making yourself and them happy. Cheating with someone else is disrespectimg you and showing that he is putting another woman before you, is this the type of guy you want to stay with.
You may love him but sometimes you have to look at his values andmoralsand obviouslyhe doesnt have many...
Taking in all you've written about your husband your doing exacty what bushg is talking about. He is a lying, cheating thief. Ask yourself, what has he done to deserve you staying??? Your love is not enough to change him.
I am not in this situation (note the lack of personal detail). It isn't my husband who cheated. I have a friend going through this. I thought by throwing the questions out there - which I did in my post - I could provide her with other opinions and takes on the matter of how to get through this/forgive this because I honestly don't know if I could if it were me.
However, while on the topic of *my* husband I will say this. He is not perfect. He has made some really stupid mistakes. But all in all, he is a good and loving father to our children and he's a decent husband to me, so the mistakes he's made, I can forgive. Cheating on me with another woman is not something he's ever done, nor is it something I think he will do and I hope I'm never in that situation.
I've actually never been in a relationship where I have been cheated on, so I don't know how one is able to forgive, trust, and move on from there. I just know with the way I feel about monogamy, infidelity wouldn't be tolerated in my relationship at all. I state that from the get-go. But I do know that there are many couples who are able to move on and have decent or successful relationships with the cheating partner in the aftermath of the betrayal.
But I do know that there are many couples who are able to move on and have decent or successful relationships with the cheating partner in the aftermath of the betrayal.
Sorry for the mix up, But I hope you relay to your friend the need to look at this in terms of the whole relationship, as her feelings are no doubt hurt. Only she can say if he has any redeeming qualities that leads her to believe he wants to change, and it is crazy to think he will, just because he says so. It takes years to regain trust, and the couples who have gone thru this have worked long and hard to get over this episode. If she is willing fine, but the real question will be, if HE is willing to change, and get back the trust, or will he do it again. I think she deserves to take all the time she needs, to make a decision.
This is a judgment call on your part. I think you could, if you really wanted to, make it work. I'm not saying you should really want to make it work-and if it doesn't it's all his fault-but if you love him and think he will be faithful in the future, you owe it to yourself to try. I would definitely suggest counseling to help you get the anger off your chest (silently resenting him will make any attempt to salvage the relationship impossible).
On a side note: I read one user ask something along the lines of "If he really loved you, would've he cheated on you?" I can, without a doubt, say that you can love someone and cheat. I cheated once. I got myself into a bad situation and got caught. It was 3 years ago, and I still feel like crap whenever I think about it (I haven't spoken to the ex since the day after the occurance). I have kept myself out of situations similar to the one I was in when the cheating happened and I'm confident that I'll never cheat again. It won't work out with my ex, but I really wish it would've.
Location: Now hailing from St. Petersburg, Florida US of A, North America, planet Earth, Milky Way Galaxy.
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I know other couples have gone through it and forgiven, but I think the relationship is broke at that point and you need to move forward by yourself. Even if the relationship moves forward there will always be that lingering doubt and lack of trust.
I can, without a doubt, say that you can love someone and cheat. I cheated once. I got myself into a bad situation and got caught.
You can without a doubt say you can love someone and cheat??? Obviously you either dont know what love is or you really wernt in love... If you cheated you obviuously wernt in love cause if you were you wouldnt have cheated. A bad situation there is no bad situation, you created the bad situation yourself. If you were truly in love you would not have thought of such an act.
I understand what you are saying but do not believe you were actually in love although you thought you were, that is the problem with alot of relationships the person thinks they are in love but it may actually be something else, for examle they love having the person around etc... If they truly loved them like you say you did youwould not have cheated because you would have thought about your love first and put her feelings before yours...
Well, I didn't give any details of the bad situation in which I found myself. I was studying abroad and heavily using drugs and alcohol (I know that's not an excuse for my behavior, but it can make it impossible to think of anything other than yourself). My ex's friend was in the program too and called him the next day to tell him what had happened (it wasn't with the friend, it was with a random). It was a bad situation...I was lonely and strung out, does that make sense?
By the way, I'm gay, there were no women involved. Not being rude, just setting the record straight.
If you were to find out that your partner cheated on you, how would you react to/deal with the infidelity (the hurt, the anger, the betrayal)? And how do you forgive something like that? Is it possible to move on and learn to trust each other again? Or do you give up with no more chances and take a zero tollerance policy no matter how much you love the person?
First i want to say that i am sorry that happened to you. I also want to say that if you want to forgive this person you should. It will be a long journey though. I think that a person never really gets over it. I have a friend who keeps on forgiving and it just keeps happening to her. It is really sad when someone cheats. a whole lot of hurt. Just take all the time you need to really weigh the odds. Dont act too quick. You will know what is right for you. If that means moving on then go, but if yor heart tells you to stay...give it a shot!
Personally, I think that this type of thing is unforgiveable. If you really love the person you can move on with them and stay in the relationship but it will always be in the back of your mind. Also, can you really ever trust that person again? And what is a relationship without trust? Not to mention that if they really loved you and they really valued what you two had then they never would have done that in the first place. Even though it's hard to leave someone you love, I think in the long run it's the best decision. Then you can go find someone who will treat you the way you should be treated.
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