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bj88 · Feb 19, 2007, 04:01 PM

A girl I've recently broke up with repeatedly calls me. She wants to be friends but the fact that we share a bed on the odd occasion leaves me feeling confused. I don't think it would be wise to continue our relationship but the fact remains I can't just be friends with this girl because I love her. If I were to carry on seeing her socially (or otherwise) it would drive me crazy.

Your thoughts,advice etcwould be v.much appreciated.

Skell · Feb 19, 2007, 04:47 PM

Ask her not to call you because you can't continue the relationship under the current conditions. You don't want to be some guy who she just shares who bed with on the odd occasion. Tell her that you would be willing to continue this relationship if you were to try and become more than simply friends, but right now you aren't comfortable with how it is.

And rather than just sleeping with her why don't you try and do things out side the bed room with her. Go on dates and have fun. Make her enjoy her time with you and you never know she might just perhaps want to become more than friends with you too.

But if all you are doing is using each other for sex then it will go nowhere and never work!

Skell · Feb 19, 2007, 04:50 PM

Oh sorry, I didn't see it was an ex. My bad. It was staring me in the face.

Well since it didn't work the first time then it most probably won't work a second time. So my advice would be to tell her that since you are no longer together then you would prefer not to have any contact with her.

It sounds as though she is just stringing you along for her own purposes and you are letting her do so.

Ignore my first advice. Accept it is over and move on. This relationship was broken for a reason. It is unhealthy to continue down the road you are.

Move on and work on yourself with out her in your life!

Good luck!

Nosnosna · Feb 19, 2007, 05:04 PM

Yeah, just be honest and tell her that it's uncomfortable. Phrasing here is important... if you tell her you need to either be completely together or completely apart, that feels like an ultimatum, which isn't what you want. She may not like hearing it, but now that the relationship is over, you don't have to worry about her not liking things (no, that doesn't mean you're free to be a jerk :)). Once you've told her that you'd be more comfortable not seeing or hearing from her at all, that's the end of it. Just... stop seeing her, stop taking her calls, stop hanging out.

chuff · Feb 19, 2007, 05:17 PM

Originally Posted by bj88

If i were to carry on seeing her socially (or otherwise) it would drive me crazy.

Your first responsibility is to yourself. If she's driving you crazy then you need to pull away forever. You also should not be sharing a bed with her anymore. It's over and you have to accept it.

talaniman · Feb 19, 2007, 06:15 PM

If you stop sleeping with her She would loose the motivation to see you at all.

x-mo-x · Feb 20, 2007, 11:26 AM

Wondering y u broke up with her if u still love her??
X

s_cianci · Feb 20, 2007, 07:44 PM

Just tell her honestly and upfront what you've told us here. Then delete her number, e-mail address, screen name and any other contact information of hers. If she calls you don't answer, if she e-mails or IM's you don't respond. If she continues to call you and won't leave you alone then change your number and make sure she can't get access to it. Disappear from the face of the earth, at least as far as she's concerned, and pretend that she's done the same.

lesbianlover · Feb 20, 2007, 08:15 PM

Originally Posted by bj88

A girl ive recently broke up with repeatedly calls me. She wants to be friends but the fact that we share a bed on the odd occasion leaves me feeling confused. I dont think it would be wise to continue our relationship but the fact remains i can't just be friends with this girl becuase i love her. If i were to carry on seeing her socially (or otherwise) it would drive me crazy.

Your thoughts,advice etcwould be v.much appreciated.

Why did you break up with her in the first place? What is she calling you for? Other than that, maybe you guys need some time away from each other. Tell her how you feel. Maybe you guys can come to a conclusion.

valinors_sorrow · Feb 20, 2007, 08:55 PM

There is no way now to cut her off now and not look something like a cad for sleeping with her after you two broke up. Sorry, but there it is. Surely if you are adult enough to get on the tobaggan, then you know where the brakes are and how to apply them. You just don't want to and I doubt there's much anyone here to help with that. Its up to you. Don't worry, she'll survive and learn some lessons too, I bet. And next time you're done with someone, be done. It's a lot easier than this. That's the gift in this for you.