Three months ago, I found out that the man I'm in love with got married already. We had been together for about two and a half years. We were so in love when we were together. More than half of the latter part of our relationship was long distance and we had many false break ups but always managed to get back together again because of our strong feelings for each other. He thinks religion was our main problem - he's Muslim and I'm Christian - and neither of us was willing to convert. For me, it was the lack of commitment on his part. I love and respect him for who he is and I was willing to work on a real love relationship. But he doesn't seem to be on the same page.

During our last break up and serious talk, he said he didn't want to let me go and I believed him. Nonetheless, I stopped contact with him in an attempt to move on, but he never left my mind and my heart. I always mulled over making contact again but decided not to until I gave it enough time and became sure of myself.

Eventually, I decided to forgive him. And when all the hurt was gone, all that was left is love. This was when I realized that I really wanted to be with him. Six months after our last break up and serious talk, I sent him a casual email, not knowing that he was about to get married the next day. Upon actually learning of this fact, I broke down and was crying for two weeks. He kept this information from me, but had a bad feeling already. He replied to my email and we chatted (IM) for a while, but he was talking strangely (based on premises if he was married) when I asked him. He said that he also has feelings for me, but wouldn't admit if he's married already.

Shortly after, I found out the truth upon inquiring from a third party. When I told him what I found out, he admitted it and reasoned that he didn't want to hurt me, I shouldn't have pushed him away, and he had no choice - all of which I don't really buy. Now he wants me to be his second wife as he claims it's his only solution left, which is definitely a no, no for me. I already told him that this officially ends everything between us and that I will let go and move on with my life. He still sends me emails, but I have stopped responding.

I've been reading a lot of books and trying to heal myself from this devastating experience but it's just too hard! Of course, I know my boundaries and will never cross them. Though I still think about him all the time and feel tremendous emotional pain everyday. It just hurts so much that I'm not sure if ever I'll be fine or fully functional again. I've lost all happiness, desire, and motivation. I'm just a big mess right now. I'm taking a break right now from work (and life in general) as I don't want to fall apart, but I can't keep this going for long. I also don't want to fall into depression. It's been three months already since I found out. Isn't that long enough grieving time already? I also wouldn't want my family to worry about me too much. I would appreciate any help and support. Thank you.