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abeknopf · Jan 22, 2010, 06:07 PM

Multiple threads merged.

My girlfriend; the love of my life has recently lost someone very close to her, and I couldn't be there for her when she really needed me. Now I risk losing her. She has mentioned that to be in a great and healthy relationship, I need to learn to not be selfish, to be able to put myself last and to take myself out of my comfort zone and stop taking the easyway out. She's moving out soon and I need to find some way that I can prove to her that I can do those things, I don't need to prove my love for her because true love can't be proven, it's just there if it's right. How can I not be selfish, and put her and her son first and how can I stop taking the easy way out of situations?

Devorameira · Jan 22, 2010, 06:30 PM

If you love her, it should constantly show in your actions. Love and actions work together. You don't have to keep proving it, because it's in your eyes, the smile on your face, your warmth and caring. You can tell her a thousand times a month how much you love her, but actions speak much louder than words. That special smile when you see her, hugging and kissing her, etc. It's always the little things you do such as listening if she has a problem and really caring and helping all you can. When she isn't feeling well, you should be there, and when she's down then you should be bringing laughter into the situation. You can't buy love and you can't force love on her if she doesn't love you back. If you respect yourself, have a good soul and heart then that's what sticks out and tells her what a great person you are and how much you love her. If she can't see that in you and doesn't treat you the same back, then you both haven't found that "special someone."

liz28 · Jan 22, 2010, 08:07 PM

When you say you take the easy way out what exactly do you mean? Being there for a person(especially when they need you the most), having open communication, and being honest are some ways to showing a person you care. You know what you need to do to keep this girl so do it if it isn't too late. Do the opposite of what you been doing.

abeknopf · Jan 22, 2010, 09:10 PM

I mean by if I have to options of doing something, one might require a little more effort where the other is hassle free. It's like I avoid difficult situations.

abeknopf · Jan 22, 2010, 09:11 PM

I mean by if I have two options of doing something, one might require a little more effort where the other is hassle free. It's like I avoid difficult situations.

amicon · Jan 23, 2010, 12:44 AM

I can only suggest that you work on yourself,for yourself.

I don't know if that would save your relationship,change doesn't happen overnight.

emopunk7 · Jan 23, 2010, 12:50 AM

If you really loved her, you wouldve been there for her especially if a family member died.

abeknopf · Jan 25, 2010, 10:06 PM

I was looking through my girlfriends phone pix, cause she's been taking pics of her self but won't let me see 'em and I know they're sexy by the outfits I see her taking in the bathroom. I discovered some nude ones and got excited, then I looked closer; it wasn't a mirror shot, I couldn't see the phone anywhere in the pic, and her hands are obviously not on it either. Some one has took nude photos pf her, so I believe she's cheating on me, and I want to know, if there is some kind of way to gt her to admit it, with out looking obvious. I feel ing crushed. She always accused me of cheating on her and I never had, but now I think she is cheating on me.

CarrotTalker · Jan 25, 2010, 10:11 PM

When you say she won't let you see the pictures,
How would you ask her about them?
How would she respond?

abeknopf · Jan 25, 2010, 10:12 PM

She has been real protective of her phone, so I figured something was up, but she basically said no, she's not photogenic like she always does.

abeknopf · Jan 25, 2010, 10:13 PM

Like she always says

CarrotTalker · Jan 25, 2010, 10:16 PM

My ex (we just broke up last week, hence why I'm here lol) would be very confrontational just from a simple question.

If you want to get the cat out of the bag, simply ask her directly "I saw nude pictures on your phone, how come you didn't want to share those with me?"

Most likely, it won't be worth the trouble, consider breaking ties.

abeknopf · Jan 25, 2010, 10:30 PM

Naw man, I want to not seem obvious that I found the pictures, but I need to say something that will get her to admit it herself.

CarrotTalker · Jan 25, 2010, 10:31 PM

Originally Posted by abeknopf

naw man, I want to not seem obvious that I found the pictures, but I need to say something that will get her to admit it herself.

What could you say that will make her admit it herself?

Plus, what would that even get you?

abeknopf · Jan 26, 2010, 08:11 PM

I had looked in my girlfriends phone to look at some sexy pics and accidentally changed some settings back to default. If she finds out and confronts me, what do I say so that she's not seriously pissed?

Fr_Chuck · Jan 26, 2010, 08:46 PM

You go and confess, if you wait till she finds lut, there will be little you can say

amicon · Jan 27, 2010, 01:38 AM

You tell her what you did and why you did it.
Honesty is the best policy.

Romefalls19 · Jan 27, 2010, 07:23 AM

Tell her what you did, own up to it and take your punishment

redhed35 · Jan 27, 2010, 07:39 AM

looks like you have more on your mind then just snooping.

you need to talk to your girlfriend,and you both need to be honest.

one of the great phases I have learned on this site is, no trust = no relationship.

Devorameira · Jan 27, 2010, 09:40 AM

I would definitely confess BEFORE she finds out on her own.

Why were you snooping to begin with? Has she cheated in the past?