I am currently 20, my boyfriend just turned 22. both live at home with parents. we have been together in total for a long while now, not just a year, but nearly.
i gave into him quite soon with sex, to which i regret in some ways (which is why im writing on here) but in others i dont as i wanted it aswell.

i come from a family, they are very strict religious followers, dont allow me out after 3am, dont allow me to stay over at a lads, not happy if i drink too much, like me in to spend time with them, do uni work etc. i respect them, and have very rarely lied about where i am. on the other hand my boyfriends family are much more laid back, have the attitude once your 18 we cant stop you doing anything, his previous girls have slept over, hes had them nights were your out all night, he moved away to uni, whereas i have not done.

he feels these differences suffocate us, in the way he is desperate for me to stay over, and in the way that he is into porn, dirty sex, dirty texts, dirty talk, etc etc. we were on and off a lot at the beginning as i couldnt cope with the constant sex sex sex talk, considering he was my first kiss, first love, first sexual intercourse partner.

we had a very long chat, we cut out the dirty sex, as when i tried it just wasnt me, it made me feel too guilty, it wasnt natural for me, and i dreaded seeing him as i hated sex, but i still wanted it.

no we get on so much better, been solid for a good 6 months, but even after all the discussions we had i still find him very sexual. he doesnt force it upon me at all, but if we are together, he knows how to get me horny and then we have it, which doesnt bother me, but its just cuz i worry its all he is after.

he often texts saying will you wear stockings for me, and today i received a text saying when your next round we can cuddle up naked and watch a film.

im jus in a dilemma, as he is always in touch with me, does always want to be with me, has put it up with from me, does appear to be attracted to me etc, but i still cant help but worry if its all just for sex?

is the sex thing normal for a 22 year old, and also the whole idea of him texting me saying im thinking about you naked, or can we watch a film naked, or is it just creepy?

the thing is, providing the lights on full on i dont mind, and altough i may have made it sound like hes a sex pest, i do want it, which is why is weird, but sometimes i feel guilty after sex, and i dont know why, he would have it everyday, but i just feel that thats using me?

please help, im confused!

dodgy_dave

It certainly is normal for a 22yo guy to have a high sex drive! From what you have said it is not that you have a lower sex drive but simply that you are worried that this is the only thing that he is after. Well just ask yourself; do you do other things together? Do you feel like you have to have sex every time your together? Does he show a genuine interest in your feelings what you've been doing or is it kinda straight to the sex?

I have been in a situation where my girlfriend felt very much like you do and after speaking about it we agreed to not have sex for a couple of weeks. This really helped her to realise that whilst the sex was great there was more to the relationship than that and that nothing else changed whilst we weren't having sex. Plus the sex after two weeks was fantastic!!! .

bluerose

It is very normal for someone his age to seem to be all about sex. If you want to be with him but you don't feel the same way, just have a chat and explain how you feel. If he loves you he will make some small adjustments in his behaviour. This is how we learn and grow. But you need to remind yourself that he is not a mind reader and it is important to tell him how you feel.

talaniman

Your letting him use your body, as you use his, but the part you two don't seem to get is, where is this going?? What else do you want from life besides SEX?