The last question i asked is below, some of you were very cruel and mean about it, and basically told me not to try and that i had no hope and it was over. Yet there was one person who encouraged me to keep trying to work it out... Well i just resumed my life and put a face on as if i were just fine and doing well.. but i wasnt... you guys told me to not see him at all, well i worked in a gas station at the time and he was constantly coming in.. so it was un-avoidable... Well as of april 1st 2007 he came to me and told me he was stupid and he had made the biggest mistake ever, and that he needed me and that he wanted to marry me.. As of april 26th 2007 we have been hapily married and we now have a beautiful little girl named Shiloh..
So just to reply to most of you, YOU WERE WRONG, AND THERE WAS HOPE, AND WE HAVE NEVER BEEN AS HAPPY! SO NO ITS NOT ALWAYS A LOSS AND ITS NOT ALWAYS A WASTE AND YOU SHOULDNT JUST GIVE UP. I didnt and i am married to the love of my life now. THANK YOU TO THE PERSON WHO ENCOURAGED ME TO FIGHT FOR OUR RELATIONSHIP, YOU ARE GREATLY THANKED!

Well just figured i would update the people who need to gain some faith and hope in thier lifes!

Tabitha

(((I have been with my fiance for 2 1/2 years and he just all of a sudden decided he wanted to break up.... so i moved out like he wanted.... a week later i was visiting my friend the one he is living with and my ex & i ended up doing it... well then a coupple of days ago he said to give up hope that he was never gonna come back.... i cant eat i cant sleep, and all i think about is him, i am soooo in love with him, and all i want forever is him... i dont know how to win him back... i need help.... )))

starbuck8

Well I congratulate you on your marriage and your baby. That's great! We don't ALWAYS tell people to give up. We are usually trying to save someone from any further hurt. I think in this case, it was when you wrote that he told you to give up hope and that he was never coming back.

Sometimes it's a little hard over the computer, without all of the info, not knowing the entire situation, and the in's and outs of it all, to be 100% on the mark everytime. Yours had a happy ending, but for every 1 that does work after something like that, there are a hundred that don't.

We can't use one happy ending as our gauge for giving advice here. There have been more people that came back and thanked us for telling them the truth, and sorry they didn't listen, because they got hurt even more, than there are people with stories like yours.

So, although I'm very happy yours turned out the way it did, 9 times out of 10 it isn't the norm.

JBeaucaire

First, congratulations on getting married and having a baby so quickly. Must feel like a bit of a whirlwind, huh?

Secondly, please be careful. You're message is optimistic (which is GREAT) but I want to encourage you to keep your feet on the ground. Getting married is easy. Having babies even easier. STAYING married is holy-crap hard and requires a two-way selflessness to really work. As long as you keep your feet planted in your marriage this can be totally awesome. I celebrate my 24th anniversary this Spring, so I know it can happen.

Lastly, I went back and read those original posts and I think you're wrong about what happened. I believe everyone was encouraging you to leave him alone and work on yourself because it takes two dedicated people to make a relationship work. At the time you posted, you didn't have that, so the advice given was correct.

I think they were right. I think you did that and the reason you two got back together was because HE turned it around and came back to you, not because you chased after him.

So, rather than say you're right to chastise the people who were saying "let it go", I think it's fairest of all to admit what really happened...and in effect everyone was partially right. You needed to let him have his space to think and you're right that sometimes things DO get worked out.

You didn't win in spite of the advice, I believe you won because you let him get his mind corrected on his own.

Lastly, it's only been 18 months. It takes a lifetime of giving to become the love of someone's life, so make sure you don't get ahead of yourself. There's a lot of work to be done here. You can do it, we know that. But keep your eyes open and be that man's biggest fan.

Take care. Check in and let us know how things are going.

TrueFaith

Nothing like having a baby and getting married to fix all your problems is there

Well i do wish the best for you

but yeah. do not bash people trying to help you. you came here looking for help and we gave it, do you understand?

Im sorry we didnt all tell you what you wanted to hear. how rude of us, and there i was thinking telling people what they wanted to hear was the best thing ever!.

And it is always down to you to make a choice.
But what a very classy way to come back and basicly say

Screw you guys haha you was wrong.

Its not about right or wrong. its about helping others and wel all do the best that we can.

Everyone on here has hope and faith.
even the people with none.

So you madem, glad everything work out
im sure there will be no more use for this harsh board.

we was worried about you funny enough