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my ex and i are both 21, we grew up together since the age of 7, our families are good friends, plus before we got together we all used to hang around togehter, so we have the same friends. We started going out when we was 18, he was more into me at first, and it was brilliant, then something made me change my mind so we broke up, then i realized i did really love him and he was what i wanted, and it took me 3 - 4 months to get him back, and when i did he was`nt trating me right, id drop everything for him because i was scared of loosing him again, so we split up again for another 4 months, then got back together and have been together this time for 1 1/2 years, its been a rough ride, like he would get down and split up with me for a week or so, then we wud get back together. But for the last month and half we have sorted our probs out and both grown up ( or so i thought) and we have been gettin on brilliantly, but all of a sudden bout 3 weeks ago, he said to me he wanted to split up because he needed to sort himself out and focus on his new job and his life before he can focus on anything else. He says he still loves me and says he just needs to figure things out, how do i get him back??
You must like rollercoasters cause that is just what it sounds like. I wonder how brilliantly this relationship was going if it led to ANOTHER break-up. I think you should leave him alone and give him all the space he needs and you look honestly at your life. Ask yourself if this is a life you are enjoying and if you even have a life without him. If not, now would be a excellent time to get a life that you enjoy, for your sake.
If you really want to get him back then you need to back away and be willing to possibly lose him forever. This may sound ironic but if anything will work, this will. Get on with your life and do the things you like and want to do, both with others (not him) and yourself. Take a vacation, take a class, read a series of books on a topic you've always wanted to know more about, join a dance club. The list goes on and on. Be willing to live your life without him and be able to enjoy your life just as much without him as with him. There's a powerful psychology involved here. Once he sees that you don't need him and may well be losing you forever, this may very well light a fire under him and get him coming back to you if it's meant to be. Do not contact him ; no e-mails, no phone calls, no IM, nothing. Delete his number from your cell phone, delete his e-mail address and delete his screen name. If you happen to run into each other in public, keep it short and sweet with the customary "Hi, how are you? Good to see you. Well, I've got to run. See you later." Even if you don't, fake it. This is your best bet for maybe eventually getting him back and also setting yourself up for fulfilling future encounters if you don't.
If you really want to get him back then you need to back away and be willing to possibly lose him forever. This may sound ironic but if anything will work, this will. Get on with your life and do the things you like and want to do, both with others (not him) and yourself. Take a vacation, take a class, read a series of books on a topic you've always wanted to know more about, join a dance club. The list goes on and on. Be willing to live your life without him and be able to enjoy your life just as much without him as with him. There's a powerful psychology involved here. Once he sees that you don't need him and may well be losing you forever, this may very well light a fire under him and get him coming back to you if it's meant to be. Do not contact him ; no e-mails, no phone calls, no IM, nothing. Delete his number from your cell phone, delete his e-mail address and delete his screen name. If you happen to run into each other in public, keep it short and sweet with the customary "Hi, how are you? Good to see you. Well, I've got to run. See you later." Even if you don't, fake it. This is your best bet for maybe eventually getting him back and also setting yourself up for fulfilling future encounters if you don't.
Will this really work? Has anyone on here ever got someone back trying this? It makes total sense I'm just curious if it's ever worked for anyone on this forum. Because it's so hard to not contact someone you care so much about.
Will this really work? Has anyone on here ever got someone back trying this? It makes total sense I'm just curious if it's ever worked for anyone on this forum. Because it's so hard to not contact someone you care so much about.
In Western cultures we are seldom raised to control our emotions.
Our strong and wild emotions sometimes run counter to the instinctive and wiser voice inside us that is there to preserve our happiness, sanity and the qaulity of our lives.
We need to start listening to our instincts, that quite voice that says ... just be calm and play it cool.
There is however a difference between control and supression.
I think it makes logical sense to cut back communication with someone you split with. But when one person wants the other person back it becomes extremely difficult. It's good advice, but hard to do.
I was just curious if this has worked for anyone, I'd like to hear the details.
It only works if there was real love from BOTH SIDES. If one person killed their love for the other, or never did love the other, there is no second chance.
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