He still loves me but how can he easily cut me out of his life?
Asked Oct 18, 2010, 11:18 PM
I really need an outsiders opinion on this, I'm finding it so hard to deal with and I can't talk to anyone properly about it and don't show my feelings because I don't want to put my mysery on anyone.
I'm always stressed out, my moods change constantly, I'm not eating properly and worst of all I'm actually failing college now.
I'm really worried because I haven't a clue how to deal with this feeling.
Basically, I got with this guy and we were eachothers first. I'm 19 and he has just turned 18.
We were together for over 2 years and loved each other a great amount but started to argue constantly because of trust issues and him not being able to show any emotions what so ever, so we ended up breaking up and he deleted and blocked me off everything (facebook, mobile, etc).
Then 6 months went by and we both realised we missed each other too much and got back together again. Everything was great and he was completely open with me and always shown his emotions, he would even seriously talk about marriage with me haha... And if we ever had a fall out he'd really be upset about it, however he started to become a bit too jealous, controlling and dependant on me, which he then realised after a short time that he was wrong but I did decide to compromise anyway.
But things changed I went away on holiday about a month ago and he didn't text me even though I'd texted him a few times, but then I logged into facebook and seen that he had invited a girl mate (who he thought he fancied a while back) and his guy mate over to his house. I got completely the wrong idea and flipped on him. I've been a bit touchy about him talking to her before and it's caused arguments but he's explained to me many times that he doesn't see her in that way. But I have male friends and after flipping on him no matter how many times I tried to apologise and sort things out he just kept saying that "nothing will change", that I can do whatever I want and he can't, that its not working, there's no trust, that he's suddenly not happy, and that he's not cutting friends out of his life for me or being told what to do. But this is all new to me because I didn't know how he felt and I didn't realise how unreasonable I was being.
So a few weeks ago he just was being really nasty to me, swearing at me, and twisting everything round even though I was being really reasonable, I literally did everything I could but he deleted me and blocked me off everything again :/.
I had asked him quite a lot if we were over for good and he just kept saying he doesn't know.
I really do love him and I know people say when you find someone else you'll realise how silly you were being but he was like my best friend and we could be ourselves completely around each other and it feels like such a waste being that close with someone, to just never speak to them again.
I know he must love me too because he's quite shy, reserved and very loyal, and treated me with respect, and whilst we were broken up he apparently really missed me and broke down a lot.
I haven't spoken to him for a while and I've heard that he's just been out with his mates constantly and been drinking a little, which isn't like him. I've also been in contact with his mum lately as our familys were close and she told me that she thinks he's going through a silly phase again, and that he said to her he'll probably wake up one day and realise again that he misses me but that's something he'll just have to deal with if I've moved on. He's also still got the birthday cards and gifts I've sent him and this painting I did for him up on his shelf which I find really hard to believe.
I just miss him and I'm hiding my feelings from others but really Its killing me this time, because I just think that now he's going to realise that we both must move on this time.
If I had the chance I'd want him back right now, but he just seems to be getting on with his life.
Is this something I should be worrying about so much? Will he be coping well without me? And is it possible for him to actually hate me over this :S?
Is there any hope for us after this?