how do i feel

dmagic · #1 Jul 18, 2005, 12:18 PM

hi i'm need some advice. i'm 21 and i love this girl i meet back in school, we dated for a year, but we went through alot, that married people got through over there whole married life. we had problems like most people, but she made it seem like everything wrong was my fault. so if we did break up i would do the break up, first so she did have to, i wanted to be the "good" one by not feeling bad cause i did it. later on she would call and she be crying and saying "why did i do this to her,she doesn't needs this,cause she was good to me." to make a long story short, we got in a fight, and i left, for three day, i didn't talk to anyone, not her,my friends,not even my mother. then the fouth day i came back and i did alot of thinking. i decided to end this cause this is to much for me to handle,she came over i gave her back all ofr her stuff, she cried and i didn't, and i thought i would feel better cause this happen but i dont. after we broke up we talked alittle bit and still said we love each other, then she moved in with a family friend, and lived with him for a few months, and we still talk. here the part that get me MAD, she told me she was getting married and she whanted me to go to the wedding. i'm thing for what why, just a few months ago you told me you loved me and you want to be with me, and i told her the same. i did tell her i was going to marry her, but not this early cause we are still young, but i serious about and just wanted to wait. even after she told me this i'm still angry, i saw her once before the "wedding" we hug and she said she miss this and she still loves me. but what gets me is now she married,have a baby and i get mad still and for what,why. i still think about her sometime and i dont think i can find someone like her, i compare her to other girls, and even if i dont i wonder if the girl i'm tring to talk to will like me. so i guess my questions is will i ever get over her, and find someone to hang out with, and not compare, and live a young mans life , in his prime, to be a little crazy, and wild.

NeedHondaHelp · Jul 18, 2005, 12:42 PM

Sorry to hear about your situation, but be glad that you're away from her. You broke it off for a reason, right? Focus on that reason. It'll hurt, but only for awhile. Keep busy, and since you're still young, you will bounce back. I promise! I wouldn't date right away, but hang out w/ friends until you're ready. She sounds a little "off", anyway. Saying she loves you and misses you right before she gets married and has a kid? Are you kidding me? She's a WHACK JOB who obviously has insecurity issues and can jump from one man (and man's bed) into another. I'd say, good riddance and move on. Best of luck.

Wildcat21 · Jul 18, 2005, 01:58 PM

Dude - sorry to tell you, but people don't get married that quick. She was seeing that guy while she supposedly was 'seeing' you.

I have a STRONG feeling your relationship was way over before you say it was and she more of just a friend. I also have a feeling you may not have been having sex - or at least the last few months.

I have a feeling she didn't want t ohurt you by breaking up. I have a STRONG feeling she did everything in the book to make you break up.

obviously she married the guy 'friend' who she moved in with.

You sound like a 'Nice guy' who needs to really learn about woman.

Woman do this all the time to 'Nice Guys'.

Got to this site and learn about 'Nice Guys' and how replusive they are:

www.relationship.blog-city.com

Learn about woman - read every article on DATING at www.askmen.com

also at www.sosuave.com - read every article

I have a feeling you failed all her tests. You were a doormat.

Woman don't want 'Nice'.

Wildcat21 · Jul 18, 2005, 01:59 PM

I don't think this gal was all that great. Move on. She played you.

Also - WHAT THE HELL were you doing with her before her wedding? That's WUss boy behavior.

lickemlolly · Jul 19, 2005, 07:07 AM

not neccesarily true...after i broke up with my bf of 2 years i started dating this guy that i went to high school with...after 2 months we were engaged and after 3 i was pregnant...things didnt work out but needless to say it all happened fast...but what you need to ask yourself is why are you mad???you left her...she cried and told you she didnt want this but you still did it so how did you expect her to just sit around and sulk over you when there are much more fish in the sea...you have no reason to be mad...you kicked her to the curb and she did what any woman would do which is move on...she may have done it a little faster but she still did it...

dmagic · Jul 19, 2005, 11:20 AM

i get mad cause i still LOVE still girl and she told me that. before she got married. one day out of the blue she cause me and ask if she has a good girl friend, and i said "sure",of coures we have problems like any couple,but she called ME to ask me, a question like that. I dont know maybe i took it as, is she askin me cause she want me back or did she just wanted to know. In that short talk of 3 mins, she said she was have problems,(i didnt ask,she told me.)and thats when she ask that question. so i know we are not together,BUT I LOVE THIS GIRL, and i get jelous to know that she is with someone else. Ok i did move on,but i tend to think about her sometimes, while i not really finding anyone. I just have to go wild,crazy and not think about her so much. so what to do NOW,huh?

Wildcat21 · Jul 19, 2005, 12:48 PM

You didn't listen to a word I said.

STOP talking with this girl. She's married. She isn't coming back - you chased her away.

What to do now - LEARN ABOUT FREAKING WOMEN! LEARN ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS! Learn to be a man and stop being a sensitive, needy, wuss!!! Wake up!!!

You're still clueless - you didn't study any of the websites I showed you.

You're going to be miserable until you learn this stuff.

You miss having someone, she walked all over you - you don't need this woman.

Learn about 'Nice Guys' and quit being one.

Wildcat21 · Jul 19, 2005, 01:14 PM

BTW -

You need to hear this:

You sound like the neediest Wuss in the world. No woman would want to hear what you say.

Until you learn confidence, independence, get a life, how to deal women, etc.

Get this gal out of your head. You can't win her back. She having a baby.

Get other things in your life - school, work, WORKOUT, hobbies, family, FRIENDS etc.

This gal is gone AND you don'r want her back.

lickemlolly · Jul 19, 2005, 02:21 PM

thank you wildcat...i know its hard to hear but YOU chased her away this is not something she did...if you wanted her back you had all the opportunity to do so BEFORE she got married...it was obvious she still loved you...you have no reason to be jealous when you are the one who called it quits..she did what she had to do...which is what you need to do and thats move on...

Wildcat21 · Jul 19, 2005, 02:51 PM

I really don't think he called it quits though. I think she wanted him to break it because it would be easier for her. I REALLY think she did everything in her power to chuck him and he didn't have a clue to leave. She didn't want to hurt this guy - AND a lot of woman don't want to come across as a bee-atch - it sounds better to them that he broke it - I've seen this many times.

I really think this gal left the relationship way before he says she did.

And she saying she 'loves you' - your clueless - it's in a freindly way.

She is getting married.

It's like one of my best friends - she's married and she says all the time that she loves me - BUT, of course, she is NOT IN love with me. Big difference.



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