Hello all. I've been on and off here in regards to this particular relationship for the past 4-5 years and I'm in desperate need of help. I need to let someone go who I have been in a relationship with for the past 10 years on and off (8 years on-2 years off). I promise I will try my best to keep this shortened, but there's just so much.

I don't want to make the guy look bad and what I'm about to say isn't just to justify myself-it is 100% the truth. I want to start to say that I do love this person very much. About 3 months after we met, I started to question his "career" because what he told me about his job didn't add up and I was falling for him so I wanted to get to know the real him. Turned out to be a drug dealer. I should have let him go then but I didn't because I was convinced that I was in love with him and that I could "fix" him-and I was determined. This went on for years and years. We have two children together-a boy and a girl. I have sacrificed so much for him throughout all these years-he's been to prison twice and just recently went back.

Not only was he a drug dealer-he was a user as well-so yes, there were some really bad times-he would be violent at times and yet-through all of that it wasn't the bruises that hurt so much it was my broken heart. I was a very good woman to him-I treated him well, I took good care of him and of our children and even he would always admit that. He cheated on me the entire time we were together (except when he was in prison of course)-I've caught him multiple times. He even had a child with another female that he had cheated on me with.

He left me once-I left him twice. But we would always end up back together. I wanted our relationship to work so badly because we had those babies and yes-I loved him. But I realize now that had I loved myself a little more-I wouldn't be in this situation. We got back together a few months ago after a year of not being together. It was right before he went back to prison. A week before he went in, he ended up hitting me again. I didn't speak to him or try to see him during that time. He called me from the prison he was in and we started talking from there. Now everything seems great and he has vowed to me that he has changed and he is sorry and he realizes how much of a good woman I am to him and he loves me and pretty much everything a woman like me would want to hear.

I know he is lonely and scared because of where he is at. Every other time he has ever gone-I took care of him. I paid lawyers, I sent money, paid his bills-everyting. And it seems pretty much like the same thing now. He may be telling me the truth-maybe he has changed and really is ready to settle down, but I feel like the damage is done and I can't whole-heartedly trust him-no matter what. I fear I'm making a mistake by letting him go-but I'm unhappy and have a feeling that he is going to do to me again what he has always done. I want to let him go. Of course I want to be supportive of him and not leave him all alone in prison-plus we have the two little ones together-but how can I let him go? It's not going to be easy-but I don't want to keep leading him on-making promises to him that I don't really feel inside. I feel like I'm lying to him. Yes, I love him. Do I want to be his woman-no, not anymore. There is no one else and I'm not cheating on him in any way. I just can't take care of him anymore. I am positive that I am truly ready to let him go this time. Please give me advice on how I can communicate this to him. I appreciate your time and look forward to hearing anything you can suggest. Thank you.