How come single men fall for emtional games from single women but not married ones?

Bluerose · Jan 26, 2007, 08:43 AM

Not sure I understand what you are getting at. But after my divorce in 1991, I went out with a married man for five years, he was separated from his wife. Then one day out of the blue he turned around and said they were getting back together! I didn't feel much of anything except a fool. I was so mad at him and at myself that I skipped the emotional woe-me stuff. I just accepted it, he was hers. I never got involved with another married man!

If you make your question clearer I might have a better answer. Lol

valinors_sorrow · Jan 26, 2007, 08:57 AM

I think the reasons are far more subtle. I believe the men are far more connected to how wrong it is, partly because they know THEY are wrong. And like it or not, I think men are much better geared at avoiding being responsible for things that are wrong in a relationship. LOL They would not open themselves to the criticism as the women almost blindly do. Women are used to being criticised, we do it to each other as a normal part of daily discourse. Also, it may very well be that married women simply don't solicit affairs in the same fashion as married men do, as predominantly an ego boost and source for sex while holding out the lure of a real relationship to their lover. And to compound it, I don't think men and women view marriage the same as a general rule. The single man is not geared to plead for the married woman to leave her rotten spouse and marry him. Just typing it out here sounds strange, does it not? The statistics support those theories more than anything when you really look at it. I know when I was in a troubled marriage, the last thing I wanted was another complication and it was an open marriage too.

Good question Chuff! I look forward to what others may add too. Thanks.

NeedKarma · Jan 26, 2007, 09:16 AM

I think it may be simpler that all that: women are looking for that knight in shining armour and men are looking for some sexual variety.

Synnen · Jan 26, 2007, 09:21 AM

Actually...I think it's because guys aren't as catty and backstabbing as women are. If a girl belongs to another guy, he's just not going to bother, since there are other fish in the sea.

With women...if she's not our friend, sister, mother, daughter, or grandmother--we don't give a damn about her. She's *competition*! And obviously, (see the sarcasm dripping here?) since she couldn't hold her man, she doesn't deserve him.

Seriously...guys see it as poaching and women see it as if he's fair game if the other woman can't hold his attention, even if the other woman is his wife.

Wildcat21 · Jan 26, 2007, 09:22 AM

Women get caught in their feelings - they can't help it. Attraction isn't a choice.

People Want What They Can't Have - especially women. Many women LOVE the unavaiable man. Love it!

Challenge.

Mysterious.

Sexy, forbidden love.

Sneaking around is not boring.

She wants to believe his lies.....romance novel stuff.

He gives of the air of very confident, because HE knows it's just a game - he's married so if the gal doesn't fall for it - who cares - no importance into it.

IT'S ALSO VERY, VERY, VERY, UNHEALTHY FOR A WOMAN TO FALL FOR THIS!

NeedKarma · Jan 26, 2007, 09:28 AM

Hey I want sexy forbidden love too, and I'm a guy!

valinors_sorrow · Jan 26, 2007, 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Synnen

Actually...I think it's because guys aren't as catty and backstabbing as women are. If a girl belongs to another guy, he's just not going to bother, since there are other fish in the sea.

With women...if she's not our friend, sister, mother, daughter, or grandmother--we don't give a damn about her. She's *competition*! And obviously, (see the sarcasm dripping here?) since she couldn't hold her man, she doesn't deserve him.

Seriously...guys see it as poaching and women see it as if he's fair game if the other woman can't hold his attention, even if the other woman is his wife.

You may be on to something here, Synnen. It also may be that men inherently fear the retaliation of another man more than women do with women?

One thing to bear in mind with this topic is the stats say that an almost equal percentage of each gender cheats on their marriage partner....

Allheart · Jan 26, 2007, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Synnen

Actually...I think it's because guys aren't as catty and backstabbing as women are. If a girl belongs to another guy, he's just not going to bother, since there are other fish in the sea.

With women...if she's not our friend, sister, mother, daughter, or grandmother--we don't give a damn about her. She's *competition*! And obviously, (see the sarcasm dripping here?) since she couldn't hold her man, she doesn't deserve him.

Seriously...guys see it as poaching and women see it as if he's fair game if the other woman can't hold his attention, even if the other woman is his wife.

Synn, grrrrr had to spread it. But yes, all of which you are saying....Sad, but true.

Bluerose · Jan 26, 2007, 01:42 PM

Seriously, I put it all into perspective when someone said to me….. “If he can cheat on his wife, the mother of his children, what chance do you have?” For me that hit the nail on the head. Women will fall for it and men never say No. It takes something shocking and real to make us ‘see’ what we are doing to ourselves.

How come single men fall for emtional games from single women but not married ones?

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