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    NalvaBabii's Avatar
    NalvaBabii Posts: 27, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 20, 2007, 02:48 PM
    How can u tell the difference between love & lust?
    I was just curious because whenever 1 of my friends meet a guy and they say their in love, people keep telling them that its just lust and I wanted to know how can you tell the difference? Is it something that they will do or not do? And how can you tell if a guy really likes you for who you are or if he just wants to have sex with you then leave u?
    SAB123's Avatar
    SAB123 Posts: 685, Reputation: 94
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    #2

    Aug 21, 2007, 05:54 AM
    When me and my ex started dating she told me she loved me after like the 2nd or 3rd month. Then we started having sex, she would say it and I would mumble it back because I did not. At least not at that time. Then about 6-7 months later I fell in love with her. For me it was lust in the beginning, then we had a 1-2 day breakup. That's when I knew I loved her. For me, Love was just something I just felt in my heart. The sex was so much better then that afterwards, because now it had meaning.
    Alan Penweather's Avatar
    Alan Penweather Posts: 10, Reputation: 4
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    #3

    Aug 21, 2007, 06:00 AM
    This question has already been ruminated on extensively by well-known romantic philosophers, The Buzzcocks.

    Of particular salience to your question would be:

    "Your hands feel a need
    I don't know if it's too much
    Just lust, just lust"

    And equally

    "It seems it's only greed
    To taste all that you touch
    Just lust, just lust"

    I hope that clears it up for you.
    hilaryfortnum's Avatar
    hilaryfortnum Posts: 49, Reputation: 4
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    #4

    Aug 21, 2007, 06:04 AM
    You should just ask the guy outright - "Are you in love with me, or is it just lust?" I can't see that he would have any reason to lie.

    In any case, if the answer is "just lust" that's surely a compliment anyway. So it's a win-win question.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #5

    Aug 21, 2007, 06:06 AM
    Hello Nal:

    If he jumps up to leave after he gets his jollies, it's lust. If he hangs around to smoke a cigarette, it's love.

    excon
    Bluerose's Avatar
    Bluerose Posts: 1,521, Reputation: 310
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    #6

    Aug 21, 2007, 06:09 AM
    The easiest way to go is………..

    In the beginning simply assume it's lust - it usually is anyway.

    Love, real love takes time to grow. It doesn't matter how many times you say it, it means nothing until you truly feel it in your heart.
    NalvaBabii's Avatar
    NalvaBabii Posts: 27, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Aug 21, 2007, 01:28 PM
    OK but how can you tell if a guy actually likes you or if he is just trying to have sex with you and leave u? I could ask him that but obviously he isn't going to tell me the truth
    Bluerose's Avatar
    Bluerose Posts: 1,521, Reputation: 310
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    #8

    Aug 21, 2007, 02:17 PM
    While you feel like that the thing to do is... no sex. If he sticks around it's cause he likes you and is willing to wait till you are ready.
    Ash123's Avatar
    Ash123 Posts: 1,793, Reputation: 305
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    #9

    Aug 21, 2007, 02:22 PM
    Lust causes us to commit more of ourselves physically (errands, dinner, plans, sex, lunch, sex, laughs, sex) but not mentally.

    Love has a lot of these more committed qualities: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ck-121409.html
    kellyn's Avatar
    kellyn Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Aug 21, 2007, 06:18 PM
    If you like this guy how can you pursue him?
    Dennis777's Avatar
    Dennis777 Posts: 478, Reputation: 124
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    #11

    Aug 21, 2007, 07:09 PM
    Hello.

    Lust is very strong and it's very hard to know for sure unless you give it time. The simple rule is Love Grows stronger with time, Lust grows weaker with time. Time means months not days.

    I like the answer above that said if your new together figure its Lust just to be safe.

    Dennis777
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