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my ex and I started to kind of talk again, i called her a few days ago and we talked a little bit about how we are doing and college. we both told eachother that we are doing great. i want to start talking to her more and more and eventually i want to ask her out for something simple like ice cream or lunch, something very casual. i dont want to force anything, because i know that will push her away and i will only hurt myself. how should i approach this situation? should i be forward with her about how i really feel? (i still love very very very much) or should i play it off like i dont need her?
i forgot to mention that i do talk to my friend just about everyday whether it is online or on the phone and im actually going up there this weekend, this will my third time up there in a month. it does help. what exactly do u mean by two completely different relationships, i dont quite understand that?
That is hard to say. If you were really mean to her, she may never see the relationship as being a positive one. That is the price you pay when you mistreat people. It's really best to just leave her alone and let her have a new happy life.
and one more thing...just out of curiosity....will her focus shift from negative to positive in time?
If you change your ways and prove to her that you have, she may see you in a positive way in the future. Keep in mind, this does not mean that she will get back together with you, it just means that in the future her hard feelings towards you may diminish.
That is hard to say. If you were really man to her, she may never see the relationship as being a positive one. That is the price you pay when you mistreat people. It's really best to just leave her alone and let her have a new happy life.
If you change your ways and prove to her that you have, she may see you in a positive way in the future. Keep in mind, this does not mean that she will get back together with you, it just means that in the future her hard feelings towards you may diminish.
That sounds good and i realize it, and thats why im kind of pushing it a little bit, because i dont want her feelings to go away forever. I think she is in kind of a phase where she still thinks about the negatives and as time goes by i think she will reflect on the positives and i do realize this doesnt mean we will get back together.
That sounds good and i realize, and thats why im kind of pushing it a little bit, because i dont want her feelings to go away for me. I think she is in kind of a phase where she still thinks about the negatives and as time goes by i think she will reflect on the positives and i do realize this doesnt mean we will get back together.
If you want her to see you in a positive way, then you need to prove that you can be positive. This does not mean calling her all the time and telling her "i've changed"...this means keeping it up with your therapy, becoming a positive person, and letting her see it for herself.
She probably is still thinking about the negatives, it sounds like there were a lot of negatives there. You must understand that this whole process does not happen overnight; it takes time. You need to give it as much time as it takes.
Keep up with your therapy, and most of all focus on yourself!!! You, and making yourself better, are the most important right now.
If you want her to see you in a positive way, then you need to prove that you can be positive. This does not mean calling her all the time and telling her "i've changed"...this means keeping it up with your therapy, becoming a positive person, and letting her see it for herself.
She probably is still thinking about the negatives, it sounds like there were a lot of negatives there. You must understand that this whole process does not happen overnight; it takes time. You need to give it as much time as it takes.
Keep up with your therapy, and most of all focus on yourself!!! You, and making yourself better, are the most important right now.
yea i completely understand that, since she goes to a separate college, she probably never hears about me or knows whats going on.....is she going to say to her herself one day, "wow i havent to him in a while" and call me? Im just concerned that im going to be waiting a long time.
It means that if you were a real butt hole to her, she may never see her time with you as positive. It's best to just leave her alone to be happy with someone else. That is the price you pay when you mistreat someone.
yea i completely understand that, since she goes to a separate college, she probably never hears about me or knows whats going on.....is she going to say to her herself one day, "wow i havent to him in a while" and call me? Im just concerned that im going to be waiting a long time.
If you have to wait a long time, then so be it. Like I said, it doesnt happen overnight.
She may or may not want to call you sometime in the future just to catch up. I dont really know, i'm not in her head. Just please stop bugging her, you are not helping the situation at all. You need to let this rest.
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