i know that this probably is not the correct fourm for this, but i know that it is a highly anwsered forum so i hope you don't mind me posting my question here, but i am in desperate need of advice.

My friend tried to commit suicide on thursday night last, she was my best friend for a few years but basically we drifted apart. She did some pretty mean things on me and some of my friends so we basically cut contact with her. Not in an evil way but contact gradually cut off.

My other friend found her as she was attempting to hang herself, and she told me that she was drunk and in a pretty bad way and was holding a picture of me. (we were best friends and she is god mother of my son)

i don't really know how to handle this, me and her and some other friends took her to watch a film tonight at it was ok.

but she has a bit of a problem with drink (not as far as a fully fledged alcoholic) and she is pretty slutty so she has a pretty bad name - we live in a very small community, and basically none of our friends (or me) trust her.

But i don't really know what to do, she is not very talkative, and would not really open up unless she was drinking which is one thing i want to avoid. i plan to keep in contact with her and doing things a few nights to keep busy but to be honest i don't really know how to handle this situation so i am wondering if anyone has any ideas.

There is no way that she could be convinced to go see a doctor or therapist or anything like that.

Tommyp!972

never say never....doesn't her family care about whats going on...if you can show her that there are people out there that care about her no matter her faults she may listen and go for counseling..good luck on this

valinors_sorrow

Are you able to contact her family? It sounds like she is in need of some serious support here and her family would be my first choice as to the door to knock on. I would think they would want to know about how much distress she is in?

If not, can you locate A.A. or a "crisis helpline" of some sort (in my town, its a simple matter of dialing 2-1-1) and talk to them. At the very least you will be able to give her these phone numbers and report that you did call and that talking to them was pleasant and productive. She may take your word for it and act on her own then. Fingers crossed!

If she is really refusing all forms of help though, and she is of legal age, then there may not be much you can do about it other than love her from a distance and watch yourself.

I am sad for her... because I was lost like that once too and it feels permenant when, in truth, it can be so temporary (if you are willing to allow the help to help).

I hope that helps.

Fr_Chuck

First, while the story is most likely true, often those trying to kill thierself seriously will do it, not be found or stoped. So one has to also consider the fact that she was trying to find a way to mess with your head also.

First you have to remember that you have no control over others and thier actions is never your fault. When I worked at the prison some years ago, it was commom for inmates to "try" and kill thierself, normally for attention or to get into special housing because of debts owed, or they had prettier nurses in that ward.

Well I was going from cell to cell, and was about three cells from this one cell, well I got a phone call and had to return to the end of the cell block, well I guess the inmate did not see me walk off, well by the time I got back, it was too late. ( this story was related by the inmate in the next cell.)

I feel bad about it, but it was not my fault.

Next yes you can force her committemt ( or at least the person who found her and her closest family. They can go before a judge for a forced commitment. We used to do that for varoius people in Atlanta when I worked there with the police department all the times. And if we were called to an attempted sucicide, we automaticly took them into the ward to be looked at for a mandatory 24 hour hold.
So yes there are things that can be done.

Drinking does not make you kill yourself, it only makes you drunk and more likely to do what you may have planned on doing before. so there is a two fold issue here, first a mental health issue and the drinking issue.

Also just from my studies, no documetation at my fingers, most women don't hang thierself, and very very few shoot thierself. ( disfigure thier neck or head) most is done by pills or overdose.

s_cianci

You've got a very serious situation on your hands. If she won't voluntarily seek professional help that you should immediately seek legal counsel about having her committed for her own protection. This is not to be mean but to get her the help she needs, even if it's by force. Her problems are not going to go away by themselves. She is clearly a danger to herself which constitutes legal grounds for involuntary commitment. If steps are not taken now then the next attempt to take her own life may be "successful" and her blood will be on everyones' hands.

Krs

Firstly was it an attempt to kill herself or a cry for help??

Coz from what im reading its a cry for help, meanin she is craving help, and attempting suicide is her way of telling friends and family HELP ME.

Suggest to her to go speak to Pyhscologist ASAP, she needs professional advice. She needs friends and family close as she is goin through a very rough phases in her life.

Stormy69

Please view this link American Association of Suicidology - Dedicated to the Understanding and Prevention of Suicide

Stormy69

Here are the 2001 stats.Suicide Facts and StatisticsSuicide Deaths, U.S., 2001*
Suicide was the 11th leading cause of death in the United States.
It was the eighth leading cause of death for males, and 19th leading cause of death for females.
The total number of suicide deaths was 30,622.
The 2001 age-adjusted rate** was 10.7/100,000 or 0.01 percent.
1.3 percent of total deaths were from suicide. By contrast, 29 percent were from diseases of the heart, 23 percent were from malignant neoplasms (cancer), and 6.8 percent were from cerebrovascular disease (stroke)?the three leading causes.
Suicides outnumbered homicides (20,308) by three to two.
There were twice as many deaths due to suicide than deaths due to HIV/AIDS (14,175).
Suicide by firearms was the most common method for both men and women, accounting for 55 percent of all suicides. More men than women die by suicide.
The gender ratio is 4:1.
73 percent of all suicide deaths are white males.
80 percent of all firearm suicide deaths are white males.
Among the highest rates (when categorized by gender and race) are suicide deaths for white men over 85, who had a rate of 54/100,000.
Suicide was the third leading cause of death among young people 15 to 24 years of age, following unintentional injuries and homicide. The rate was 9.9/100,000 or .01 percent.
The suicide rate among children ages 10-14 was 1.3/100,000 or 272 deaths among 20,910,440 children in this age group. The gender ratio for this age group was 3:1 (males: females).
The suicide rate among adolescents aged 15-19 was 7.9/100,000 or 1,611 deaths among 20,271,312 adolescents in this age group. The gender ratio for this age group was 5:1 (males: females).
Among young people 20 to 24 years of age, the suicide rate was 12/100,000 or 2,360 deaths among 19,711,423 people in this age group. The gender ratio for this age group was 7:1 (males: females).
Attempted Suicides
No annual national data on all attempted suicides are available.
Other research indicates that:
there are an estimated 8-25 attempted suicides for each suicide death; the ratio is higher in women and youth and lower in men and the elderly.
more women than men report a history of attempted suicide, with a gender ratio of 3:1.

valinors_sorrow

Please, whether the suicide attempt is meant as sincere or is merely a ploy for attention is a slippery enough slope that is leveled only by defaulting to the side of caution. Take this girl's situation seriously. There is enough evidence here (suicide "staging"...sexual recklessness ...drinking) to suggest she is in the kind of trouble that makes it very possible for any "faked" suicide to morph into a real one, okay? It would be tragic if she ends up dead while some debate is taking place.

fredg

Hi, Sarah,
After reading your question, then went back to "my friend tried to committ suicide", that stopped my reading it again.
Those are key words; regardless of anything else you said. You have some good answers previous to mine.
The only thing you can do is encourage her to go for Professional help. She needs to see a Professional. Be her friend, and try to get her to go.
Only she can say if she is an Alcoholic, I can't. If she can't stop drinking, not have another drink AT ALL, then she could be an Alcoholic. Ask her is she can go the rest of her life without having a drink of anything with alcohol. If she says "no", then she could have a problem.
There are just too many issues here for you, alone, or with your friends. She needs help from a Professional.
I do wish you the best, and good luck.