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This is one of the most difficult decisions I've ever had to make. My B/F and I have been together for two years. We have a very unique relationship. I am a single mom and devote most of my time to my daughter. He is in med-school. Although we talk every day, we only spend time together one day a week. Sometimes we do lunch but for the most part we end up with one day. This actually works well for both of us. We love each other, and enjoy each other company. He doesn't spend much time around my daughter, but when he does, he is good with her. My problem is......
In the past three months it has become apparent that my B/F is racist. He is not super extreme, but he does judge people by the color of their skin. He believes that people are in groups by the color of their skin. Most people stereotype within reason. However, I was raised in a very open minded family. My sister is dating someone of another race (he doesnt know this). We were raised to judge everyone as individuals.
Could this relationship ever work? I don't want his beliefs imposed on my daughter or any children we may have together. I see him as ignorant!
I would not waste anymore energy on this man. He sounds opinionated, egotistical and could you honestly live with that for the rest of your life. Make a decision and move forward.
Get a life, lady. How about your look up rape and aids statistics? NOT FACTS! DEAR GOD! How about your walk in the ghetto at night and see how "open minded" butt does? Born in bred in a nice liberal community with no minorities? Germany was a bunch of racists and guess what? They nearly conquered the world. Were they all low iq people? Why were you allowed to breed, commi scum
Get a life, lady. How about your look up rape and aids statistics? NOT FACTS! DEAR GOD! How about your walk in the ghetto at night and see how "open minded" butt does? Born in bred in a nice liberal community with no minorities? Germany was a bunch of racists and guess what? They nearly conquered the world. Were they all low iq people? Why were you allowed to breed, commi scum
forgot to hit disagree!
I think you workedtoohard what in the world are you replying to?
I think you workedtoohard what in the world are you replying to?
Yes I do love the post, but have no idea who he or she was talking to.
But yes, I have often taken some of my wonderful liberal friends, who beleive that people are just misunderstood and so on, well I work with the homeless often here in Atlanta, and I go down under the bridges, to some of thier cardboard cities, or into city parks where even the city police have instructions not to go into unless there are at least two officers. I love to see the fear in the eyes of so many of them, now again fear is not wrong, since drug addicts, drug dealers, and others are and can be very dangerous.
Fr_Chuck I am not following what you are meaning about loving to see the fear in them or how it relates to whatever. Maybe my concentration is getting worse than I realized.
I don't follow workedtoohard's rationalization for calling sara a racist commi either for breaking up with her racist bf
well one persons idea of a racist, esp since they never came back to explain what "racist" ideas they were talking about.
But many people who call some things racist are more just conceptions of people more by culture and economic situations. You see 4 teens dressed like they are out of the hood, and you react and have certain ideas from them. Everyone has those.
If he is working in some areas of medical care often he will see people who will live up to the worst that people live up to.
She did explain how her bf is racist
she said he walked out of a line at a restaurant and said he was glad because it was a lot of blacks waiting ahead of them
when she told him her sister was dating a black and some of her cousins were part black she said that he said if she has any black in her to leave him now.
she said he sees whites as superior
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah48375
Okay, I will give you some examples of conversations to help you all understand what I am talking about.
When prompted if he wanted his children to share in his opinions he said, "Do you mean that whites are superior." I said, "yes" He said that he absolutely did.
He said that if a black person and a white person applied for a job, and he owned the company, he would hire the black person only if he was better qualified. If they were equally qualified, he would hire the white person because you have to take can of your own.
He thinks that any individual that does not learn to speak English before coming to this country should be deported.
When asked what he would do if he had black patients he said, "I'd prefer that they weren't, but I wouldn't turn them away."
Doesn't like any non-European race.
I agree and stated that most people stereotype. However, If three white guys were walking down the street dressed like they were from the hood. I would be just as inclined to go the other way. I wouldn't turn the other way because of the color of their skin. I would walk away because they looked suspicious and dangerous.
If I was sitting on a plane and three Arabic men were on a plane, it might cross my mind, but if they started talking to me, I would then judge them as individual.
I just wish this problem didn't exist. I wish I didn't have to walk away. ...
Get a life, lady. How about your look up rape and aids statistics? NOT FACTS! DEAR GOD! How about your walk in the ghetto at night and see how "open minded" butt does? Born in bred in a nice liberal community with no minorities? Germany was a bunch of racists and guess what? They nearly conquered the world. Were they all low iq people? Why were you allowed to breed, commi scum
Yikes, and huh? I'm with everyone else, I don't know were this is coming from, or what the poster is trying to say or to whom he's saying it to. More explanation needed.
To clear things up. I have made four separate posts about my situation on this thread. If you missed some please feel free to check.... Actually, to be honest, I don't think I need to defend myself. I know where I'm from, and I know what kind of person I am.
I understand and have considered the fact that his perspective is very different than mine. He sees a lot of awful things because he works at hospitals in risky areas. However, his level of hate goes well beyond that. I could never be with a man whose hate is stronger than his love for me. What I mean by that is that if he found I was black, we would be over.
I really appreciate most everyone's comments and opinions on this subject. I'm sorry that not everyone is giving constructive suggestions. I never expected to be personally attacked, nor did I expect to have others enjoy in these attacks. I understand that this is a public forum and people can say what they like. This problem with my B/F is a genuine problem and concern of mine, and I am more than willing to hear other opinions than my own. However, when I am being attacked, I tend to tune people out and not listen. I am going though a hard time, and I would like to think if you're going to be answering questions about relationship issues, you would be slightly more sensitive. I do have feeling.....
What I mean by that is that if he found I was black, we would be over.
Someone who loves you for who you are, wouldn't care who your ancestors were, you would think. That's scary that he could have that level of hate for others. Scarier still, is what if your neighbors end up being a different color? There are to many red flags here of what could happen, if you too hooked up. You have a lot of thinking to do. I can only wish you luck, as that has to be a bad situation to be in.
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