Hello everyone... I'm hoping to get some input regarding an issue with my boyfriend...

The long and short of it is we've been together for over 2 years, have a good loving relationship with the occasional ups and downs of a normal couple. We've split up a couple of times in the past for very short intervals but have been able to work through it for the better.

We don't often argue - the problem is that when we do, he typically becomes withdrawn, doesn't want to talk anything through, and on more than one occasion has called it quits on the relationship on the spot. Normally once we've both taken some time and space to assess things, cooler heads prevail and we're able to work together on dealing with the issue at hand. I know him well enough to realize that he's acting out of anger and needs time to cool off, but still each time we go through this I'm at my wits end because I'm never certain whether this demand for space will be permanant, or whether this break up with be the one...

I LOVE this man - and I know he loves me. He is otherwise very kind and considerate, devoted, we're extremely compatible, and there are far more good qualities in our relationship than there are bad - I'm not ready to give up on him yet (unless this time he doesn't give me the choice).

I'm looking for some suggestions on what to make of his "game over" attitude, and how to deal with it more effectively. I understand that everyone handles their emotions differently, but I can't imagine how a person who cares about another can simply "turn it off" when an argument or disagreement upsets them. What gives?

emopunk7

It seems like you are the only one putting any effort when things get rough. Things will get rough in any relationship so don't blame yourself. If he can't deal with the hard times then he can't deal with you and YOU SHOULDNT DEAL WITH HIM! Give him a taste of his medicine and let him feel his decision...You deserve better.

My ex used to do the same and what T-Man told me was very true and I think about it everyday...Sometimes even us knowing things are not good, we force them to be good just so we can keep the good times rolling. The truth is that it is never going to work. It takes 2 people to make a relationship work...not 1. Good luck!
Listen to the new Kelly Clarkson song "already gone". You will get it.

makapuu

I can almost relate to this. I just broke up with my boyfriend and he had nothing to say. He never does. He doesn't like arguing because he thinks it won't change anything. It drives me nuts because always feel burdened to solve all the problems. But this time I can't, so we are split. If I don't have a partner that gives 100% to the relationship, I'm gonna save my 100% for someone worthy.

ChihuahuaMomma

Marilyn Monroe sums it up: "I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I’m out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best."