| Ex confused, and now decided another man
Lets do this quick
Im 19, Shes 18, Both in same college but dont really make much contact now other than MSN
We meet by a mutual friend that knew us, we instantly fell in love, we had a 2 years and 6 months relationship:
The problem? Mine, i was selfish, lacked romantic details, lacked showing attention etc. (Went out with friends when she wanted me there, sleep when i went to her home, watched tv when she was with me, didnt said too regularly my feelings, i did show poems and such etc...) Anyways she cried a lot cause her family keeps her locked, her fatehr loves me her mother too, never infidelity from either, SHE LOVED ME MORE THAN I LOVED MYSELF, Truly, i was 1000% her life. We did everything the first time together.
in the end i did the last stupid thing, i was fixing things slowly but i messed up that last time, she then talked with her new College friends, Punks and emos, she likes punk music and such, and then she comes to me, That her eyes are now open, that she can be herself, bla bla, that i was bad, real bad, she suffered a lot with me, that i wont change etc... some weeks passed and she started with the You are doing it out of pain, that i always had her so sure, you are false, after some more weeks i knew that she was talking till late with one guy, and she now loves him they are together, he lives FAR from here, her friends tells me she is extremely happy with him cause he is really lovey dovey with her. after te breakup we have talked together very nicely about ourselves, and she said "I dont know what to do, i only pray to god that i make the right decision" she was talking about the boy. anyways, her father hates the boy and i told him they were together and i SHOULDNT have trusted him and she got pissed etc, but now we are normal talking, when i touched the issue of ours, she cried on the phone, she was confused she said, but now that she has the guy, she doesnt shows sadness or anything, i feel her very Dry i dont know...
So, she says she lost a friend ( cause that friend was supporting me with heart), but anyway she is now in love with him, she says im a distant friend, that nothing in life is secure and that time will do its stuff. The other day she put a nickname: "With patience nothing is imposible in time life will give you an oportunity" and taht was in the middle of the conversation that appeared.
Now im super SUPER confused, her close friend that introduced us, says to be more open etc, and to make her a lil jealous, to send her poems and such. I sent her one and she was very happy i think, SHE LOVED poems and i did a very good one, i respect that she has her boyfriend but she sorta goes crazy and tells me to give up, to give time, not to see her as an ex, or soemthing (must think that im still very sure that shes mine) but some other freidns that know her and talked told me to disappear from her life, to give time time.
What i feel? I feel like new, im very happy, i know im the best for her, i can make her happy, i want to show her, sometimes (right now we talk normally), im gonna make a list of all things that we loved together, im gonna write poems (after the poem she said "Are you trying to impress me now?"), im gonna gift her the lastest cd of her fav artist. I feel like i MUST not give up, i must show that i have changed, in a slow pasive way, but making active things sometimes, like the poems, telling her shes cute etc... that i miss her etc. i really want to show her im better than some guy that appeared out of nowere (as far as i know she knows him recently) that is showing lots of affection.
What do you say, i dont know..... i just want her to believe that i really changed, i want her to see it, in some way, and light up things to make her think about us again.
But she really gets pissed when i touch the romance or try to do something... Starts with all the You dont deserve me, You made me suffer, and all the bad things....
Things she says a lot? Shes had it, she gave up, that she forced the relationship, that she cant forget so she cant forgive me, and stuff like that, What do i feel from her? I feel that she gave up, she is sick of what happened, but still she shows weird sings like that Nickname she put, also she is REALLY in love with that guy, cause she is really a fool for romantic stuff, we broke like 5 weeks ago and it seems they started the former relationship like 1 or 2 weeks ago.
I really love her, and i agree with her and my selfish acts, but i disagree with that stuff about that i didnt love her etc... i TRULY loved her a LOT, i was selfish and shy, and lazy, but i really felt, it all and she did too.
What can i do, right now im talking to her very normally like a friend, about college etc... but this morning she got pissed cause i tried to do smething that not even I noticed, maybe i mentioned something about our love or soemthig and she snapped telling my that she sees me as a distant friend, and that i should give it up etc.
I wont give up, and i dont prefer time, knowing her and with those signs and seeing myself, i know that the lil things i have done reached her, the poem did great, she didnt fight about it, i want to show her slowly that im real bussiness now, i dont wanna force, no, im taking it slowly but im really confused and maybe hearing some answer will help me. She just keeps brigning old things back again, HOWEVER her friend they are REALLY close and told me to take it all slowly, im doing it that same way.
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and i dont know, im just gonna be open and show her.
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