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I need help...my girlfriend of a 1 1/2 yr. says she needs her space
Well let me start by saying that we have been together now for a year and a half and we both love eachother very much. But she went to a concert just a week ago and got drunk and kissed another guy at the bar. And I know for a fact that's all that happend!!!!!! But I don't know if she was going to tell me or not. I found out about it through our e-mail and she was very upset and I told her that I was leaving and she begged and begged me to stay...so I did and now the situation has now come back on me. I'm really confused about the whole situation and now she says she needs her space, but I believe that we need to work on this and not pull apart. But I guess that I'm searching for some advice??? Should I give her the space that she is asking for or should I try harder to make her realize that we are sopposed to be together...b/c we have talked about marriage many of times...but right now she can't even look me in the eye and when we kiss there is nothing there....NOTHING....so I just don't know what to do. I know that I'm not perfect...I HAVE NEVER EVEN THOUGHT OF CHEATING ON HER!!!!!!!!NEVER!!!!!
She says that she is unhappy right now and needs space to figure things out, but I feel thats only making things worse.I have made promises and commitments that I haven't kept. How do I make her realize that I love her and I just want another chance to prove to her that I just want love her and make her happy...I keep reminding her of the great times we have had and telling her that I need her back and that I love her more than anything.
Please help me , and thank you for taking the time to read this
I'm just so depressed right now and need some advice on what to do...
THANX
You two had a great time but you need to know that somewhere along the way her feelings changed. There is nothing you can do to make a person do what you want no matter how bad you want it.Mattvit is right as you should read his thread and understand that what you should be doing is working on your own life and not pining over a female thats trying to get her life together without you.Accept things for what they are and forget the whiney begging stuff as and be mature enough to leave her alone for a while ,and take the time to get yourself together without her.Easier said than done I know but doing it will benefit you down the road.
HI,
First of all, she was drunk when she kissed someone else. That is a big difference; she may have been too drunk to even know what she was doing.
Then, for you to make a big deal out of it didn't help anything.
She needs time to herself; to figure out where she is going from here. There is nothing you can do, except wait.
I would start meeting new girls, and talking with them. It's the best way to get over her for now.
She already knows you love her, but it isn't making any difference. If you two are meant to be together, it will happen; but only after she has some time to think about it.
Best of luck.
Give her space. Your confidence and understanding will be more attractive then begging and 'working on it'. My gf moved out a week ago after 4 years. The only thing that works is to give them space and meet new people. Its hard, but telling her to go may make her come back. The only thing I know now is that she NEEDS the space. If you give it to her and she does not come back then she doesn't fel the way you do.
In years past I was able to keep my girl around by being there and doing anything for her when she felt bad about us. But now that she decided on it, I can't stop her.
Oh and trust me, as much as I don't FEEL that it is true, I know one thing IS true. There are other girls, and you don't want one that doesn't want you. You need to be in control and be the man, she will find you if she wants you. But don't let her know you are waiting. I went out and had a good time this last weekend and plan on doing the same this weekend, trust me it will hurt. But already I feel a little (only a little) bit better. Read my posts.
I think the Will they come back.... post has a lot of good advice on your situation. Good luck and as I have been told, Be Strong!
Oh another thing. As odd as it may sound, being on these forums and talking to other people about what they are going through has helped. I read a lot of other posts on the subject and they have helped me know what to look for from myself AND from my gf. Trust that if this is your life partner she would need to feel it too and would come back when she misses you. Give yourselves both time to decide on what you want. Again I say, don't let her know your hurting or waiting for her, just have fun with your time/life.
my gf of 2 years told me she needed space..... so i did the whole begging thing and tellin her we can work on it..... not the way to go. it made her want me less and now thinkin back on how weak i was, it makes me sick. she wants space...... give it to her. no contact, no attempts to try to stay in her life, nothing. act like she doesnt exist (which is very hard believe me i know). in the mean time go out and have fun with your friends. you should get drunk and kiss other girls...... it made me feel a lot better. if you guys get back together then great.... but dont live your life plannin on it cause if you do and you dont get back together your in for a world of hurt.... believe me i just got out of it. just keep yourself busy and work on yourself, dont think of her. even if you dont end up back together thing do work out in the end. keep you head up man
I agree with them man... iv been there too... and im going through that as well.... trust me its alot easier said than done... just give it to her.... But don't close your doors. go talk to a girl that interests you that always works for me. just have fun! Pain is temporary pride is FOREVER!
A gal's perspective: she's not a damsel in distress, she's a girl who wants to move on and is afraid of saying so. She also thinks about the great times you've had, but, she may think even more about your reliability and all the "promises and committments that you haven't kept". After a while, the promise to change, the declarations of true love, the begging and pleading don't mean a thing.
Move on. Don't call her, don't write, text, email or contact her in any way, shape or form. Respect her wishes and respect yourself. Learn from this one and grow.
I'm really confused about the whole situation and now she says she needs her space, but I believe that we need to work on this and not pull apart. But I guess that I'm searching for some advice??? Should I give her the space that she is asking for or should I try harder to make her realize that we are sopposed to be together...b/c we have talked about marriage many of times...but right now she can't even look me in the eye and when we kiss there is nothing there....NOTHING....so I just don't know what to do. I know that I'm not perfect...I HAVE NEVER EVEN THOUGHT OF CHEATING ON HER!!!!!!!!NEVER!!!!!
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