I am in a relationship with this guy who is my best friend ( before and after we got together) for the last 3 years on and off we have been together. Times are not really that bad, but they are not really that good etiher. This past summer we fought alot, about almost everything, and now i am away at school. He comes to visit me sometimes, a few times a month prolly, and when he does we are pretty good together. But, we never really have much to talk about and sometimes when we do talk i just get really irratated with him. When we talk on the phone it is almost complete silence, once a day and for about 2 minutes....i love you good nite is about all we say anymore. and a huge problem, sex... we rarly have it anymore at all because of the distance but when we do i am just no into it and even just tell him no sometimes. He can tell im not into it anymore and i dont no what to say. I am afraid if i break it off with him that he will hate me and maybe even harm himself. i have tired before and he pulls these guilt trips that hurt me so bad that i cant do it. I do love him so much and i dont want him to think that i dont but i just dont think we are meant to be together. What should i do?? any comments or adivse???

girl123

Have you discussed the specific problems that you have mentioned here (i.e., nothing to talk about; sex)? I think you should definitely start with that, and see how he feels about these issues. You can say that you love him and care about him, but right now you just need some alone time.
Is he suicidal? Please try to help him seek profession help if he is, as suicidal ideation is not something to take lightly.

Krs

Communication is the key to any relationship.

You do sound like you are the stronger 1 out of u 2, so pull your socks up and talk to this guy. You shouldnt be shy its not like you met him only yesterday you've known him for a while.

So talk to him, even if its you doing most of the talking, explain how you feel and what is bothering you, like you told us.

talaniman

Sounds as if you both are just hanging on just because, not healthy. You have too many issues between you and neither of you sounds happy. Honest communication is needed.

BIM

Sounds to me as though you have answered your own question. You are not 'into' this relationship any longer. Quite frankly I don't think he is either. I feel it is time to pack this one up and leave it behind.

If you think he will harm himself then he needs help. Try and find help for him, but you needent stay in a relationship because of that.

How old are you two?