I dated a girl for four and a half years. I haven't dated her in over 3 years. I'm still madly in love with her. Every relationship since her has been ruined because I still call her four times a day. We were engaged twice. She cheated on me with over 40 guys over the four and a half years. Many of them being my friends. I still forgave her time and time again, because I do still love her. Now she has two kids and a boyfriend, and I STILL can't get over her. I just got off the phone with her again five minutes ago and I'm sure I'll talk to her again in a few hours. Although she cheated on me, I love so many other things about her. Not being with her makes me feel hollow inside, because I'm soo used to having her right next to me. I don't know what to do. I can't picture myself with anyone else but her. I'm soo in love with this girl and don't know what to do...

wap

Oh, this is awful. She cheated on you with over 40 guys? She is not worth it. You obviously care so much for her, but you should find someone who cares for you. She only cares about herself. She doesn't care that she hurt you over and over again, she knew she could get away with it too.

You say she cheated on you with your friends, these people are not your friends, they wouldn't do that to you. Over 40 guys, that is a lot, I don't think that's even normal to be with that many people.

Why call her? especially a few times a day. You need to delete her number, and get your self respect back : ) She doesn't respect you or even herself.

You deserve better : )

Geoffersonairplane

Firstly, I am really sorry to hear about your pain that you have been going through.

What are you doing?

This relationship was over 3 years ago. Why are you obsessing on something that is clearly gone and over? You are letting the past destroy any hope of you having a happy future.

She does not sound like a good person AT ALL or even someone that is a good candidate for a serious relationship.

Does cheating on you over 40 times (as you say) not tell you something about her. What are the other things you love about her so much that completely cancels out what she has done to you in the time you spent with her?

Is the balance equal when judging what these things are?

I doubt it?

So..you were like her doormat then?

She's moved on!!

She won't be a part of your life again.

Obsessive!!

Borderline stalking..

At most, she will feel that she has some kind of control over you and your feelings.

What you need to do is remove her from your life completely.

Stop contacting her, seriously mate, this was over 3 years ago..

I ask you again, What are you doing?

I understand your pain but this is doing you no good. You see, she hurt you in the relationship and now you are letting her damage your future and prevent you from having a happy life.

She has moved on with her life and you are stuck in this emotional hole that in fact you keep digging further and further by contacting her.

I don't mean this in a bad way but if you need professional help i.e counseling, then I would recommend seeking this help. There is nothing wrong with that if you are having trouble letting go which you evidently are.

Begin your journey of letting go and don't allow this woman to prevent you from moving on and having a happy future with someone who is more deserving of you.

I wish you the best of luck in this journey!!

kp2171

what makes you hollow inside has nothing to do with missing her.

you need to find yourself... the person who is independent and believes he deserves better than to be with person who cheats.

there is no happy ending here with her. period. unless you simply want to be the guy she goes to when there is no other option.

it sucks, i know. but you never really left her. calling her when you are in other relationships is simply self destructive. you can say that the other relationships were not good enough, but how do you know? you were never really there. you were, and are, still in the same relationship with the girl... you project your feelings onto her and she uses them to her liking. who can blame her? youre setting yourself up to be used.

i dated a girl for over six years. ended in infidelity of sorts on her side. sucked for two years... but i cut off all contact. no keeping being friends when her interests were not to make me happy. again, hurt like hell for a time, but in time, she was out of my life and out of my head.

you need to do the same. you think youve been without her but you havent. until you do that, youre going to wonder why shes still in your head. you are letting her in there.

no contact with her. period. then get the rest of your life in order, channel your energies there.

im not saying there werent things that might have been great about the relationship, and some you may never see again in another partner. so? each partner brings new things to your life if you let them.

so... you need to believe there is better than this. and i agree, the friends you have are also jerks. you need a leap of faith and you need to lose the people who you think are supporting you when they are actually dragging you down.