Help with break up

Maybe he's afraid if he gets to serious the relationship will end and he'll be back to nothing. It sounds like he wants to start the relationship but as soon as it starts to take off he sabatagages (sp) it. I don't think having a bunch of friends that are girls makes a difference here. They all see him as a friend. I think he wants the relationship, but is also afraid of the relationship and those two dual emotions are fighting each other.

If you've been going with him for a year, then you should be able to ask him what's wrong, what's going on, and how can you help. If he can't share any of that, then you were never that close to begin with.

I have tried talking with him about it several times, he says he doesn't know why he feels this way, and that he wishes he didn't but he needs to go with his gut right now, and do "soul searching"

I don't know it sounds to me like he just doesn't know what he wants so why should you wait around for him.. Get back out there in the game.. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, or him. There are so many great guys out there, Go for it!

I feel for you Cali- I know you're going through a really rough patch here. I think you can see for yourself that he is also struggling with this, it pains him to think that this relationship could be over. He sounds confused. I think that with love comes respect. You need to respect his wishes and give him the space he is asking for. Stop thinking about how much this hurts you and give him what he needs. I know you said you are weak and that you have to call, well, you don't. Stop. No calls, no emails, no letters, nothing. Don't even tell him that you're going to leave him alone, just do it. Get busy with yourself, your friends, your school, work, volunteering, whatever you need to do. Do it. It will benefit you more than you can imagine but it will also give him what he asked for. If you love him, let him go.

In the meantime, discover yourself, push your limits, think out of the box, just stop obsessing over him and what could have gone wrong. If you look back very honestly at your relationship, you might be able to see where things started to go wrong. The red flag for me was that you were upset because you felt he had to take you with him when he went out with his friends. What was up with that? He should (and you should as well) have plenty of time apart whether it be alone, with friends or family.

I know it will be hard, but not impossible. Leave him alone. Respect his request and he may grow to really appreciate and miss you.

The fact that he was cheated on and divorced could well be contributing to his ambivalence now. I'd back off for a while and give him some space. Don't even worry about his birthday. You ned to make him miss you. Move on and date other people. Once he realizes you're doing that it may light a fire under him and get him coming back to you.

He has a lot of baggage to deal with ,so please let him. If you don't have a life without him ,now would be a real good time to get one.