well i am in a relationship with a guy i love to death and we have been together for 7 months and he promises me he want to be together for ever but i have been told that alot and i just don't want to get hurt so how do i learn to believe him and get over how all my old exs have hurt me.... i also don't like him looking at porn am i not good enough for him that he has to do that b/c that is how i feel if a guy loves me than why need to look at other girls naked? please help b.c i know if i don't get over this our relationship will end, b/c he will get sick of this,,,, help

DrJ

First of all, dont drag your past relationship problems into your current relationships. Learn from the past but do not persecute new boyfriends for old boyfriends wrong-doings.

As for the porn issue, in my opinion, it depends on HOW BIG of an issue this is... I dont see a problem with porn, as long as one is not addicted to it or obbsesses over it.

If he does not take it too far, then it is most likely your own insecurities that are causing you to feel this way. Sure he may love you with all his heart... just cuz he looks at porn doesnt mean that he feels any different... it is just a turn on for some guys (and girls).

Fr_Chuck

Ok, first if you are not over a old relationship you may not be ready for a new one.

Next a new relationship is just that a new one. and yes if you want it to work you have to take risks, ifyou are not ready to take that risk, you are not ready for a new relatonship.

To often we jump into relationships in a month or two after an old one before we have time to heal from the first. But in general as long as you keep comparing a new boyfriend to old ones, he will always fail in some way.

As for as porn, ok, I don't like people looking at it. but many do, if he is addicted, having to look at it ever night, spending hours on the interent and lots of money to pay for sites, he has a problem.

In general it most often has nothing to do with you, but with the fact men are physical creatures, they can look and think sex but have no emotional connection what so ever. They don't see this as wrong and often can't understand why you don't find it a turn on.

When they can't control their urges then it is effecting a relatonship

fredg

Hi,
Your other answers are great.
I do think you are trying a little bit too hard, maybe worrying about things you can't control. Relationships take time, to learn about each other, be honest, caring, and have respect for each other.
If you don't have respect for him because he watches Porn, and if you think he finds Porn more interesting than you, then you will be better off finding someone else, before this goes any further. I do wish you the best of luck.

Jesushelper76

There are never any guarantees in a relationship. It is normal to worry about the future. You need to let go of the past hurts and not let the past relationships effect this one because quite honestly the reason why those exes are exes because you thought the worst and always worried about those things happening. If you continue to let those experiances effect you it will eat away at you and start eating away at your relationship. Remember to make the most of every day. Enjoy everyday as if it your first day. Make each day important. Worry will only cause problems. Just enjoy the time you have and do not worry about how long it may last. It is easier to say but I am sure when you look at life at a different way then you will see positive changes in your life.

Hope all this makes sense., Too much babbling on my part?

Joe

Jesushelper76

About the porn thing. Most guys have had experiance with porn and as far as I am concerned I think it is normal. If it is interfering in your relationship or taking up a lot of his time then it may be an addiction. If you are getting love and care and he is spending good time with you and you enjoy a reasonable sex life then why worry about it.?