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heartbroken.STILL.would love a womans thought on this?
well it has been almost 4 months. things at the end were good with occassional fighting, tyoical couple stuff. when she broke up with me she said i was always goign to be the man she loves. and that turned into a solid month of depression and heart break. we stayed in touch over thanksgiving and christmas. sinse then she said she had clarity about this after talkign to her mom and realised im the man she wnats and would fix this but needed space. well me being a dumbass called her every day asking how can we get back togther?? i will send her a text atleast once a day asking how she is or sayign sorry i pushed you away...she will respond ytou have not pushed me away. and then told me when shes not tlkign to me she's thinking of me and when she doesnt hear from me she wants to know what im doing but then will say i dotn want to be with you not right now. she says this will ake our love stronger?? how can you need space when she has some other in the picture clouding her up. she had been askign me to move out of my parents and into my own place and go back to school. shes 26 im 29. well sinc eour brakup i moved out went back to schooll. the guy shes seeing is 23 lives at home and is about 25 mins away. me and her live about 3 mins away. how is that better? i understand when you like someone you do whatever. but come on? anyway we had talked about marriage alot so i dont know how we went form good to bad? i have tried to get her back so many times and nothing works. and it so hard to give her space because i miss all the time how we were and i feel if i dotn call/text/email or hear from her, my would is fallign apart. most of the day i spend thinking about her, and i feel pathetic ovver it. anyway she says she will come back in time but needs space for us to heal and see what happens in the future. she said with all the things she has told me in text and email and fone has NEVER been a lie, but i need to give her space so she can make it work again? i tod her well the more time you spoend with someone new the more you might realize she may not wnat to coem back? i guess thats why i feel compelled to still stay in touch and tell her nice things? i live in MI ad have thought abotu movign back to FL where im from. i thought bmaybe something drastic will mke her change her mond...like holy he left me. i know right now she has 2 guys fighting for her mainly me becaus ei wnat to be back, but im wondering if i did move wpould she be miserable knowing her "doormat" is no longer around. the thing is i knw she knows she has the upper hand, how do i gte that power back. im alwas the one to innitiate contact. how do i make her wnat me again???
please help!!!!!
Okay, here goes. You are the puppy dog trying to catch that bone dangling on a string and your gf is the one holding the string. Not much fun is it? No, it stinks, cause you never ever going to get that bone. She is manipulating you, twisting her own words to confuse you and it is working isn't it? Look at what she says - to tell you she needs her space and then out of the other side of her mouth tells you she thinks of you and wonders what you are doing when you are not talking to her. Wake up! She wants it all and right now she has it. She can dangle you while trying to find out about these other two guys. If neither one of them work out, she will still have you hanging around waiting for the crumbs from her plate. Wake up!
1. DO NOT text her daily, weekly, or even monthly. Stop the text messaging NOW.
2. DO NOT call her. Period.
3. Stay in school and get your degree and get ahead in your own life. Do it for yourself, not her. Do it to ensure your own future, not something imaginary with this girl.
4. Stay away from her in as many situations as you possibly can. If you are friends with others who know her, explain to them that you cannot attend if she is there and tell them why. You are being played by this girl. You do not need more reminders of it.
5. Get involved in other parts of life away from this girl. You are back in school, that is wonderful. Find things there that can interest you. Get out in the community. Find some activities to take up your time and energies, like volunteering. Start going to church and meet people there. The more involved you are in life, the less you will dwell on this girl.
You will meet people that will like you for you. People who will respect you and that who you can respect. Learning that a healthy relationship has certain qualities that you certainly deserve to experience. If you feel so down in the dumps still, seek a counselor to talk things over with. If you are feeling down, go to your doctor. Maybe you are experiencing some depression.
There is so much out there worth living for but this girl is not one of them. You really do not need her to drag you down and keep you there. Life is too short to be that sad and worried and stressed.
SHYGRNEYZS nailed it. Our hormones RAGE when we are in love and they go NUCLEAR when we are in a break-up. And...when we are under 30, it's DOUBLE NUCLEAR. In other words, it takes time to realize this, but the more you date you'll see: when a woman breaks up she expects a man to follow. It's biological. When we resist, we are taking back the control you so wish for. THAT is the control you want. Unfortunately, you gave up a lot of control in your texts and calls. Only do that if she wants to be with you but wants the relationshop validated. I.e. "I don't want to date you b/c I think you are a player..." OR "I need some space because I am not sure you really want one girl..." And even then it's risky. A 20 something woman wants to know you have more going on than her. And you will if you go back to school. Then you will meet a person you really should be texting. Your ex GF is causing you pain, but she also did you a favor. She's forcing you to evaluate your life. And that is how we escape mediocrity and attract women that we SHOULD marry. Hope that helps. Her number is old news. Buy a calendar and mark off the days with 1-2 word adjectives for how you feel. 90 days MAX you will see your in a new mental place. You'll look back at the calendar and smile one day. Cheers...
well it has been almost 4 months. things at the end were good with occassional fighting, tyoical couple stuff. when she broke up with me she said i was always goign to be the man she loves. and that turned into a solid month of depression and heart break. we stayed in touch over thanksgiving and christmas. sinse then she said she had clarity about this after talkign to her mom and realised im the man she wnats and would fix this but needed space. well me being a dumbass called her every day asking how can we get back togther?? i will send her a text atleast once a day asking how she is or sayign sorry i pushed you away...she will respond ytou have not pushed me away. and then told me when shes not tlkign to me she's thinking of me and when she doesnt hear from me she wants to know what im doing but then will say i dotn want to be with you not right now. she says this will ake our love stronger?? how can you need space when she has some other in the picture clouding her up. she had been askign me to move out of my parents and into my own place and go back to school. shes 26 im 29. well sinc eour brakup i moved out went back to schooll. the guy shes seeing is 23 lives at home and is about 25 mins away. me and her live about 3 mins away. how is that better? i understand when you like someone you do whatever. but come on? anyway we had talked about marriage alot so i dont know how we went form good to bad? i have tried to get her back so many times and nothing works. and it so hard to give her space because i miss all the time how we were and i feel if i dotn call/text/email or hear from her, my would is fallign apart. most of the day i spend thinking about her, and i feel pathetic ovver it. anyway she says she will come back in time but needs space for us to heal and see what happens in the future. she said with all the things she has told me in text and email and fone has NEVER been a lie, but i need to give her space so she can make it work again? i tod her well the more time you spoend with someone new the more you might realize she may not wnat to coem back? i guess thats why i feel compelled to still stay in touch and tell her nice things? i live in MI ad have thought abotu movign back to FL where im from. i thought bmaybe something drastic will mke her change her mond...like holy he left me. i know right now she has 2 guys fighting for her mainly me becaus ei wnat to be back, but im wondering if i did move wpould she be miserable knowing her "doormat" is no longer around. the thing is i knw she knows she has the upper hand, how do i gte that power back. im alwas the one to innitiate contact. how do i make her wnat me again???
please help!!!!!
I wouldn't make the drastic move back to florida, but you should stop all contact with her, it will be hard but, must be done. This is the only way to find out if she cares about you. when she stops hearing from you she will begin to wonder what you are up to, and if she loves you she will contact you in fear that you have moved on without her. Don't even let her see you, and don't go around anyone that can report back to her about your whereabouts. This will work. one way or the other, but you have to be strong and do it.
I know what you are going through. You really need to try for yourself though, you are the only person who can get you through this. Friends and family can help, but it has to be you that decides to move on, and try to take positive things from this situation. I know it doesn't seem that way now.
I keep myself as busy as possible, try to do that, it does help. Even if it helps you for a wee while, then it is worth it. I had to take my ex's no out of my phone. Do this if it helps. hopefully you don't know the number off by heart. This will stop you getting tempted, it worked for me. The more days go by without contact the better you feel. Each time you contact an ex it is like torture, I know. I got so upset at the cold way he was being. You are better off staying clear, give her space. Although this seems not like the natural thing to so, it is the right thing to do. : )
What is it going to take for you to realise you must have no contact with her at all and be so unavailable that she can't find you, and to finish school for your future. Stop acting like a lovesick puppy and leave this liar alone. Better yet why are you even listening to the lies of a player who has you and others to file behind her like a harem. The power to have a good life is right there in front of you and from the advice given in this and the other three posts you have made, the solution to your problems have been spelled out and before you post another whining, crying, woe is me post, please get off your butt and do something positive for yourself.
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