heya,
there are so many parts to this problem that its all going to get very muddled.
OK basically me and this guy had been best mates for about 2 years before we started going out. He had trouble in a past relationship with a girl who he almost killed himself over, i intervened and pulled him out of his depression, we dated for 18 months before it ended at the begining of this month.
through that time we went through so much to be together, he moved out of his childhood home because his mother couldn't share him with me and was pulling holes in our relationship, she split us up once and after that we weren't as strong. It was around this time that i had a miscarriage and lost our first baby, i was deverstated and it completely changed me, i lost who i was and that had a detrimental effect on our relationship.
Since the brake up we have broken up a few more times but only for a day, a week at the most before we missed eachother so much that we got back together. This time however it has been almost three weeks since he sent me a text telling me that i no longer made him happy.
A week after that i found out i was pregnant (it could only be his since i have never slept with anybody else) i didnt want to tell him as he said in his last text that he felt i always blackmailed him into staying which simply isnt true as on the brake ups i have always let him make the first move to come back and have never pressured him into staying.
A friend of mine told him for me and he rang me shortly after, accusing me of cheating on him and lying that i was actually pregnant.
this broke my heart as we had been so close, he then told me that he was seeing someone else that made him so happy, which again broke my heart because i knew he'd be with her and shes replacing me.
In his phone call he seemed to genuinely care about me once he'd done his whole matcho thing and he could tell i was really upset. this confused me more as if he still cares for me why has he dumped me the day after our 18 month anniversary and a few weeks after he asked me to marry him.
I had an abortion yesterday as I am off to teaching in Ghana for 3 months and knew i wouldn't be able to cope with a baby, he was supposed to be coming with me to Ghana and i found plans in a draw of his flat where he'd been making plans to give me my dream wedding on the beach out there.
I'm so confused i want this guy back so much and i have no idea what to do. i know i should probably move on he's been a head but i know that i lost who i was i became clingy and i wasnt the girl he feel in love with, i've found her again now and i want to show him that i just dont know how to go about contacting him, or even if i should contact him.
sorry for the novel of waffle
Bekz x
Linear Mode
