My boyfriend wants me to do whatever wants...dress like he wants...get back home in the time he wants...i mean...i would do anything for him...but...i wouldnt be happy...n the worst thing is...he can easily let me go...i'm sure about this...and am also sure that even if i did everything he wants...he would still find some reason to fight...he says he loves me...n yea am sure he loves me...but...i wanna be myself...damn i dont wanna piss him off...i wanna do whatever he wants...but if i did...we would still fight...he's always wanting me to make him happy...but did he ever think about doing the things that would make me happy
How long have you two been together? Have you talked to him about this? I'm sensing you haven't been together long or there is a lack of communication. You shouldn't have to be someone you're not to be with your boyfriend. He should love you for who you are and you shouldn't feel like your inconveniencing yourself to be with him.
Yea you're right...not very long...less than four months...and i told him that i cant be someone that i'm not...he told me "dont you wanna do something that would make me happy, i want u to wear this and that"...and as i said above...i really wanna make him happy...and i'm really serious in this relationship...but still i wanna be myself...he loved me the way i am...why should i change...there's alotta things that i dont like about him...but i'm coping...i loved him as one package...his goods and his bads...and am fine with his bads...so why does he want me to be someone else though i just want him the way he is
Sounds like he is controling. This is not likely to improve if you just continue to give in to all he asks of you. If he fights you even when you do as he asks, well then you arent ever going to be happy. Not healthy place to be. You had stated he could easily let you go. Was this a threat of his or just how you feel? This doesnt sound like love.
no that's what i felt...i dont know...but that's what he did with his ex...he can let go of people easily...but if he's happy with them...he wouldnt let go...but the problem is...if i mad him happy...i wouldnt be :S...i cant be that person i cant
This guy is potentially a control freak. It will start with what you wear (has already) and then he'll want to control where you go, who you see, who you talk to. Just to make him happy.
If he does not have the capacity to allow you to be who you are and dress as you please then he's not worth being with. Please do not allow yourself to be controlled or manipulated by this guy. Control in a relationship can be a form of abuse.
You already know that you feel uncomfortable with this dynamic, otherwise you wouldn't be posting on this Forum. Trust your instincts. Make yourself happy and either leave him or tell him that you will do what pleases you and if that pleases him, great. If it doesn't please him, too bad. Don't engage in arguments with him or try to justify yourself.
Stand up for yourself and set some boundaries, it's only been 4 months, you can leave any time you want.
I think you might want to let him go. You sound as though you might already know this. You want to be happy and have a guy that wants you just because your you. There are others out there. Maybe you should be on your own for a while and think about what you really want from a partner. Get to know yourself.
i really think that i should let go...no...i'm sure I MUST...but i dont have the strength to...i think there might be other ways to fix this...though he's very stubborn...but i'm just hoping that's there's some way to fix things...sometimes i feel that he's all i ever wanted...& sometimes i feel WTH am i doing to myself...
I wanna thank you all guys for caring enough to answer
i really think that i should let go...no...i'm sure I MUST...but i dont have the strength to...i think there might be other ways to fix this...though he's very stubborn...but i'm just hoping that's there's some way to fix things...sometimes i feel that he's all i ever wanted...& sometimes i feel WTH am i doing to myself...
I wanna thank you all guys for caring enough to answer
Remember, that the WORSE thing you can do in a relationship is think that you can FIX the other person. It just doesn't work. If he makes you feel like this, then he's not ALL you ever wanted.
Just keep in mind you cant fix or change anyone. They would have to first know they had a problem and second want to fix it.
You have strengths. Only telling yourself you dont will hold you back.
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