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He told me he was married when I've already fallen for him
For some reason yet unknown to me, I don't hate him, I could have walked away the minute he told me he was married. Dating a married man was never a thought or idea that ever came to me, yet it happened. I love this man, I don't foresee him leaving his wife and I don't think they're unhappy, just that there is no sex in their marriage. He's very attractive, very in with the times and he makes me happy.
I don't see myself breaking up the relationship as I am truly in love with him. We've done two trips together out of our state and it's been a dream come true.
I love him, he says he loves me and will not leave her. I don't know if down the road it'll be too painful for me, we've been together 7 months and see each other about 3 times a week.
Have you thought about any ways to build your self esteem? This guy is using you for his sex toy, and isn't paying anything!
It seems that you deserve a lot more as far as having someone who wants to be with you at all times, not just when they need to have their ego massaged or stick polished.
Do you feel less threatened by him, in that you don't have to worry about someone leaving you or dumping you in a relationship... because if there really isn't a relationship, then you don't have to worry that it will end... or make any longterm commitments?
you are mortified that people oppose a relationship with a married man who lied to you?
why? because its you in it and not someone else in the mess? everybody tries to to play the "you just dont get me or my relationship" angle... they might mention "soul mates"... they say nobody else understands because nobody else agrees. we just dont "get it"... i disagree.
ive loved a couple of women i couldnt be with. they werent married. just bad timing. a bad situation. i had to walk away. in one case i ran. it sucked. was no fun. but its what i needed to do to get into a healthy relationship. and a great connection based on lies to a married man might not fit in that category of healthy.
you arent going to explain your way into a better position here. you are choosing to be with a married man. you dont have to complicate it any more than that.
it isnt.
it sucks to be you. i believe you were manipulated. i believe you love the man. i think that you love a man that manipulated you sucks. but here we are.
time to suck it up and decide. you get to be the woman having an affair with a married man if you stay. nothing more. at some point, these things usually blow apart. if you want to wait around and see if hes willing to choose you after he has lied to his wife and desecrated his vows, fine.
but you dont get to say "poor put upon me"... you choose where you are. he manipulated you in one of the worst ways. you choose to stay. maybe its the comfort. maybe you are scared to be alone. but you choose this. you dont get to choose to be a victim any longer. you arent. but you know that.
and if he lied to you to get you, why wouldnt he lie to you to keep you? if the vows of marriage didnt keep him straight, whats going to work next time he is attracted to a woman who doesnt know any better?
bad marriages happen. sometimes people should get out. but this guy is being selfish and cowardly in so many ways. and you are now right there with him.
getting over a big love hurts like hell. let yourself be mad. mad at him and mad at you for staying.
you get the respect you demand, and sometimes not even that.
im glad you posted. you are struggling with this, as you should be. and if you were content, you wouldnt have posted. thats a good start.
but we in the peanut gallery know when someone has their head up their arse, its hard to see clearly. most dont use soft gloves. it isnt about hating you, its about hating your actions and what you are doing to yourself by staying in a relationship that isnt likely sustainable.
something has to give. not sure its him. so now its up to you.
sucks to be you, i know. you didnt plan this, but here you are. what next?
Hello Sunday,
listen I have been where you are and I do understand how one can get into this mess.
You and only you can make the decision that is right for you, but one day you will realize that you are always alone and living for the moments that he can spend with you.
It is hard to break up, as those of us who have a relationship with a married man or a loser of any kind are probably people with somewhat low self esteem due to past relationships and of course we hope we can change his way of thinking. We wait because the moment when he will leave his wife may just be around the corner. Admit it you have had those thoughts.
Again to make a long story short. No one can tell you what to do. While you are with him
you might miss the real person that is meant for you.
I wish you good luck and strenght.
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