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he told me he cheated. Now he tells me .he lied and never cheated!
Ok a month ago my boyfriend had told me he cheated on me!! So obviously i broke up with him. And a week ago he told me he never really did cheat on me.. like the girl tried to kiss him but he never answered the kiss. he says he feels guilty from that. And he said he told me he cheated on me to test me to see if i really love him like he said if i could forgive him he would know i really loved him (becuz he has lots of money and usually girls just go after his money) and i could be the girl he wanted to marry. Also i have talked to his friends about it and they all knew he was going to do it also his sister knew about it too and his mom. . . ...what do you think of this!?
Also before he told me it was a test and i said i would talk to him about the cheating and see if we can work it out.. So now he knows i love him..
Also his mom told him to make sure i love him before he would go and buy us an apartment. (also get married)
right now i havent gotten back together with him or anything.. i dont no really what to think of it.. What do you think!?!?!?
Gosh, how would he feel if you did the same thing to him? Whatever his reasons, he lied to you and hurt you intentionally and that's not ok. He shouldn't have to "test your love". How would he feel if you started "testing his love"? The whole story doesn't make a lot of sense. Forgiving someone for cheating doesn't mean you really love them and not forgiving someone for cheating doesn't mean you don't love them...it just means you love yourself more. Go with what your heart tells you, but use your head. If this really was just a "test", what's to say he won't test you again? Love yourself first. You ever reason to be upset with him. He has no right to be upset with you no matter what you decide.
There is a song that the words go something like this: " First he said he did and then he said he didn't "Then he said he would and then he said he wouldn't"
I think you need to find the words to that song and learn them because if you take him back you may be hearing them a lot.
worst case scenario - hes a lying cheat who plays head games and everybody is covering his back.
best case scenario - he has lied to you, loves you, but still played head games because because he couldnt find it in himself to trust you flat out, and that his sister, friends, and mommy all were in on it.
yuck. and yuck.
look... you decided that it was worth reconciling so you obviously wanted to get back together... or at least talk about that option... but now what do you believe?
you have been emotionally manipulated in an ugly way. and what of the test? you love a man because you can forgive his infidelity? mkay... so now is this precident? as in if it ever does happen youve already forgiven him and youll have vows to uphold too?
how do they not know you forgave him BECAUSE of his money??? i dont get the logic.
im not saying run away. thats your call. but what a screwed up mess.
if you stay you need to be on guard and you need to stand your ground.
at the very least they ALL need to hear from you, INCLUDING the mother, that they have betrayed YOUR trust. that you love their son, but they all have manipulated you in a way that is not acceptable... and if they wish to have a relationship with you they shall be willing to earn it. he might deserve your love without the money coloring it, but you deserve his respect and trust without being lied to.
and especially with the mother... you can do it politely... you dont have to offend or yell... but my standard line is you only get the respect you demand, and often not even that. you need to show him and her that you are a strong woman who isnt a pushover.
is she runs his show you might find that her opinion supercedes yours. you need to pick your fights. sometimes you concede cause its not worth the fight, but youd better be sure that if he commits to you, that YOU are his mate. not his mother. not his money. you.
no he has never done this to any other girl.. also he has never had a relationship like me and him had.. like he would get date girls here and there. but we have had a long and strong relationship
no he has never done this to any other girl.. also he has never had a relationship like me and him had.. like he would get date girls here and there. but we have had a long and strong relationship
This and your other post leads me to believe your ignoring all the warning signs of the games these people will play and the control and influence his family has and will have on this relationship, now and forever. I bet his previous g/f's saw the handwriting on the wall and ran for the hills and so should you. This relationship is as strong as this family lets it be.
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