I'm wondering if you kind people could help me, I'm in a big dilemma. My ex boyfriend lies about everything from where he has been to who he is with.
Basically, we split up 2 years ago and since then he has been wanting to get together but then I find out about his lies, he asked me to get back together in October last year and then I found out he had a long distance gf. He told me he was going on a trip and it turned out to be visit her, needless to say I was gutted.
In May he asked to get back together again, i then found out he was asking this girl (lets call her Jane) to go on holiday with him, when i asked him he said it was true but they were just mates then a couple of weeks later I found out they slept together. He told me he was drunk and it was a mistake, that it was me he loved etc etc.
He has text me recently saying that he loves me and that he wants us to be together, I asked if he was with Jane and he said no. I then found out that he is seeing the girl I thought he was !!!!! I found out as her facebook account says shes in a relationship with him.
He just lies to me all the time, asking me to get back together but at the same time being in a relationship. He knows that I love him, this is tearing me apart. What should I do?
You've been broken up for months, but every time you contact him, you reset all the progress.
You're not the only person who has difficulty starting and sticking with no contact. It's a really tough phase. You should also know that the pain can get ever worse in the early stages of no contact. But once it reaches its pinacle, it will only get easier from there.
It's all about will power. If you ever feel the urge to break no contact, feel free to post your urge here and we'll set you start. You can also try reading this thread: http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...es-351302.html
ive made a terrible mistake well approx 4 terrible mistakes already today, ive text the ex 4 times to ask why is he ignoring me all of a sudden !!!! i really regret doing this now and feel stupid.
Do you think this is what he wants, for me to keep bombarding him with texts asking about his welfare? he has replied to any texts ive sent since Sunday morning when he drove past my house and he found out i was away for the weekend.
How do i stop caring when he cant even be bothered to reply to my texts when i see if he is ok
Please help, any advice will be seriously appreciated
By texting him you re playing straight into his manipulative little mindgames.
Do you want to spend months and years reinacting this drama?
Stop your texts, detox from this person and get on with your own life and be happy.
By texting him you re playing straight into his manipulative little mindgames.
Do you want to spend months and years reinacting this drama?
Stop your texts, detox from this person and get on with your own life and be happy.
your so right amicon, hence why i felt such a fool after i text him 4 times today to see if he is ok but he is yet to respond. Why would he ignore my texts though?
thank you for your advice, my friend has (rightly or wrongly) text him today to say leave me alone and that she knows he is lying regarding cutting my name into his arm, she told him a few home truths that were probably very nasty but she said that they needed to be said.
Im going to get on with my life somehow? trying to switch my emootions off is going to be hard be ive enough to try and occupy myself with at the moment, ive got 6000 word essay to write before the end of Nov.
My and my ex couldnt be any different really, they say opposites attract but i dont know if thats the case here. Im 31, got my own house, a degree and a masters, nice car and he is living at home with his parents at 30 with no qualifications and no enthusiasm for life.
I just dont know how I stop loving someone like that but I understand that NC is really my only option at the minute. I feel like im losing the plot big time by keep texting him and being ignored, it hurts me so much that he dont care about my feelings only his own xxx
thanks amicon, i really dont feel like im doing well in life, on the outside i may seem happy but inside everyday is a struggle for me with my ex and what he is doing xxx
im just so so down and dont know how to lift this feeling? the pain that he has put me through, i just dont understand why he would do this to me. Im trying to get my head straigh to start my essay but all i can think of is him and what if he is hurting himself. It just feels like a circle and i really do want to break the circle as ive had enough of going round and round and ending up the one who is hurt and ignored
If I may be blunt, I think you have become used to drama or even a bit addicted to it. It may not come naturally to you, but in your relationship with your ex, there's a constant cycle of breaking up and making up. You seemed pulled to make up with him even when there is absolutely no possibility of being happy with this man. As you pointed out yourself, you deserve better.
I wonder if you don't partly feel that you SHOULD care whether he cuts himself? Well, I'm here to give you permission not to care. You do not have to worry about it. From what you've said, you think he's making it up. Your instincts are probably right, since you know him best. But what if he has really done it? Well, so he has a weird scar for the rest of the his life. His problem, not yours. Frankly, it's unlikely he would have the courage to do it. But if he has, his parents will get him to a doctor. You are not his mother--although it seems like he interacts with you as if you were a parent.
Think long term. Ask yourself, where do I want to be in five years? Do I want to be having drama with X? Envision for yourself what you want. It sounds like you've done a lot to get yourself to that vision already if you have a house, a masters and a career. Do you want to be married? Do you want children? Do you want to travel or accomplish some specific career goal? Do you want to do something for the world around you? You seem talented and able. How are you going to use that? Whatever it is, you can't do it with your ex in the picture because he is a human ball and chain who will drag you down as long as you are thinking about him instead of your own plans.
Throw yourself into the essay and don't think about X. This is YOUR life, not his.
Be strong! I know you have it in you to stop texting this noodlehead.
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