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I dated this guy back in the day. I really liked him and then he acted like a jerk to me. He broke up with me to go out with some girl he had been trying to get with for a while. Well everyonce in awhile he calls here to find out how Im doing. He keeps bringing up taking me out to dinner, and taking me to pick out a ring, and saying" when we get married..." and sex stuff. I dont want to marry him and I dont want to have sex with him. He is ugly inside. The thought of him being near me makes me physically sick. I did not tell him that but I did tell him I dont know how many times I willl never marry him. The other day he called to find out if I had gotten his card. He brought up marriage and when I told him" I do not love you. I will be your friend if you want, but please dont bring up the marriage. It will not happen." He just snickered. He had told me on a few occassions that we would either have to get married or I would have to be his mistress cause he could never imagine not having me in his bed and that it didnt matter how much he loved his wife she would just have to deal with it. Who would want to be with someone who talks in such a way? Maybe Im being too nice to him. Any suggestions on getting him to get the darned picture?
I think you need to be as honest as you can. Even it means being harsh. Tell him you don't want him to call anymore. You want nothing to do with him. Seriously from what your saying he sounds like he can be potentially dangerous.
I believe you are right. I have a hard time with it though. I have wanted to say these things to him before but I cant make my self do it. I get scared and I panic.
You need to tell him soon. Just tell him over the phone or in an e-mail. If he reacts unreasonably tell him you are going to call the police if he doesn't leave you alone. If he bugs you again then call the authorities and get a restraining order. I know it sounds like too much to deal with, but this can become serious and you need to protect yourself. Things like this need to be taken very seriously.
I know you maybe trying to spare feelings or other things? He is talking to you like you have something going on and in his mind there is something between you. Have you given him any reason to feel this way? I would say set him straight. No more marriage talk, no more sex talk, no more of any talk, no more dinner talk, no more ring talk. Let him know that you are not comfortable with the way he talks and that you do not want to be with him ever. You do not mind being friends with him but that behaviour needs to stop. If telling him the truth, letting him know how you feel does not work then Maybe you will have to take it to the next step. Go as far as saying you do not want to talk to him anymore. Enough is enough.
What do you think? May sound rash or tough but you said that just the thought of certain things makes you sick. Maybe you should tell him that. The only thing I would be afraid of is him going off the deep end and harrasing you or even stalking you.
If he is ugly on the inside, why do you even want to be his friend?
If you are having troubles approching him by yourself, bring a friend along to give you moral support when you tell him. That might make it a bit easier for you.
He helped me in a bad time once before he decided to become a jerkwad. I really dont call him. I called him once to check on his mama because she had had an injury getting out of her car and she is a very sweet lady. When we had first started dating he was not confident of himself. He has a big scar from a surgery he had but I did not care about that. I always told him how handsome he was and I was affectionate towards him. His confidence seemed to grow from that which was great but then he turned into a big meanie. He had been married before and they got divorced because she would not sleep with him anymore and then later he was engaged to a virgin who broke up with him and broke his heart. she was very cruel to him. I guess he remembers I was kind to him.
I am not saying do not be kind, but you do need to let him know how you feel and if he truly cares for you, he will back off. People change sometimes. I just hope that everything works out. Telling the truth may seem unkind but it is better in the long run.
Forget being nice, alot of guys dont get it when women are nice about letting them down. You have tried that obviously, and its not hitting home with him. I would tell this guy to buzz off. I know it will suck for you, but in the long run it will make things alot easier for the both of you. Alot of guys dont get the picture, or just refuse to recognize it all together. I say just lay it out plain and simple for him.
Hi,
If you don't want to call him, and politely tell him to stop calling you, then I would do either of the following:
1. When he calls, if you know it's he, using Caller ID or whatever, don't answer the phone.
2. If he calls, and you do answer the phone, just simply hang up. It's rude, but maybe he will eventually get the message.
At any rate, if you don't call him and tell him to stop bothering you, then don't talk with him at all; about his mother, or anything!
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